Porn and Your Husband

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Did you catch your husband watching porn? Learn the answers to common questions, tips to productive conversations, steps to setting boundaries, and how to determine the next steps for your marriage.

8 thoughts on “How a Little “Harmless” Entertainment Can Affect Your Husband

  1. Great article, couple of thoughts:

    1. You look like Paul Walker, **trigger warning for some of the women reading the article!**

    2. Article is true for all females over 25. Less than that, they are all addicted to porn too likely, so some of the viewpoints about women not lusting after a sex scene: probably untrue.

    Check out the PornHub 2017 stats. Women love porn more than ever, and search for some nasty stuff, more nasty than the men do, according to the sitea data. It’s time we stopped speaking in ways more heavily weighted towards this being a mans problem.

    Church is too tender. Dances around this issue. Time to fight it for what it is, an all out war. It’s not some people’s problem. Too late for that..

  2. Thank you. Until you have experienced the pain of pornography in your home and marriage, you truly don’t understand.

  3. Comparing romance novels to the depravity of porn is ludicrous! Wife’s of porn users are not at all inclined to force or insist their husband watch nude scenes on TV. This author doesn’t understand the experience of a wife who is married to a sex addict or porn user.

    • But I have known a few Christian couples who try to use various types of porn, and there are way too many to choose from, to help “spice up” their marriage. It usually doesn’t end well. Couples compare themselves to what they are watching or reading or whatever. Intimacy in marriage is a private and unique thing to that marriage alone. No two marriages are exactly alike because no one is exactly like anyone else. The odds are that the husband has been exposed to porn since he was an young teen and it’s always been there in the background. Maybe his wife knows it and then she feels like she’s helping and can maybe learn something by watching it with him, maybe just about what he might like, so they can be closer. But the third party of porn will be there which makes it not private anymore. There is a reason that Proverbs says to rejoice in the wife of your youth. But for lots of men, self included, sadly, the wife of their youth is porn.

    • Actually, Christine, what he DOES seem to understand is the fact that rolling around in any form of pornograpic filth whether it’s hardcore porn or an “innocent romance novel” is not good for the human soul, our relationship with God, or our relationship with our spouse. And he also isn’t afraid to point out that women aren’t all perfect, angelic, innocent victims that some people try to paint them all to be. I think an awful lot of women use the excuse that the forms of pornography they indulge in have a “plot”, a “romantic” storyline, it is just a book, and so on. There are some Christian women in my family who indulge in shows like Game of Thrones and Outlander and those shows are just pornography with more of a plot. And at least one of these women in my family has a husband who I know struggles with lusting after women in the media. But she still watches these shows with him and seems to be completely oblivious to the havoc it is likely wreaking within their relationship (even if neither of them can see the damage now). And she seems to be pretty open about finding certain men on these shows attractive. The point I am trying to get across is that, no, not all women whose husbands struggle with lust are innocent and not all of them know the damage they are causing with their own indulgences. And as a side note, I’m pretty sure the romantic novels he is referring to are the ones that include detailed descriptions of sex scenes. Not books like Pride and Prejudice or Jane Eyre. When I was younger and before I was married I regrettably read some of the “sex scene” type books and I can honestly say they are just as bad as porn. The image may not be on a screen, but it is in your mind just as vividly as if it were. Again. Pretty sure he isn’t saying books like Pride and Prejudice are just as bad as porn. And if he was, THEN I’d say he was nuts.

    • And for the record, I am the wife of a man who used to struggle with lust and pornography and somehow my pride was not the least bit offended by this author pointing out that some women out there have their own faults/weaknesses/problems.

  4. Your declarative style, come across as though your judgments are straight from God, are bit off putting. You paint yourself in a corner when you declare “The answer for all of us is that our primary intimacy always needs to come from Jesus.” Is Jesus the mother and father of your three children? I assume they were procreated as the result of your “primary intimacy.”

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