About the author, Amy Riordan

Amy Riordan is a Christian writer and speaker with a desire to see women’s hearts healed and set free. Her passion is to inspire others to embrace who they were created and redeemed to be. Amy lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two children. She candidly shares her story on her blog, Longing for Intimacy, encouraging women to pursue an intimate relationship with Jesus, the only One who can satisfy their deep longings for intimacy and connection

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Your Brain on Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Watching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change people's sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.

23 thoughts on “How I Fight Porn Images in My Mind

    • Thanks for your spiritual understanding, it is important not to look down on anyone caught up in this lifestyle, because God is able to deliver such person and save them. It is more important to pray for them than judge them.

  1. Prayer is one method of dealing with images from the past that I don’t use a lot. My weapons of choice have been taking my mind to the Cross of Christ, or pleading the Blood of Christ over the images. Thanks for the post.

  2. Thank you so much for writing this! This is something that happens to me frequently. More often, however, I get sexual images of people around me that haunt me – often my closest loved ones and it’s very difficult to go through at times for me and my fiancée. What would you recommend for a situation like that? I’ve been porn-free now for 856 days and my fiancée and I have went to great lengths to filter everything lust-related out of my life.

  3. Thank you so much for posting this! It is a great reminder that, when we think about people the way Jesus thinks about people, with love and compassion for their souls, we look at them differently. Jesus would never look to a woman and try to take something from her. Jesus would never dehumanize a woman. Jesus cares about peoples souls and he desperately wants to see them repent and have access into his heavenly kingdom. By praying for them God gives me grace to think about them in this way. Thank you for reminding me of this!

  4. I had been in that position of fighting for those images to go away from me, and it is true they always come back a strong as they can and disturbs your mind badly. Even knowing they are not good to keep, they are there and you feel like you can’t escape, I want to truly thank you for I never thought of having to pray for the women and men involved in the act of porn. Thank you for sharing your story and method.

  5. Thank you for this post. I needed it. I have been fighting an addiction for the last year and 1/2 with God’s help, after being trapped for many years prior. Sometimes the fight is too much and I just want to give it all up. But then I know that I could not live with the guilt and shame and the thought of destroying my life for the “highs” that I’m seeking, that just scares the life out of me. I feel like I am in a deep dirty pit at the moment and crawling out is just too hard. I am scared, and I hate that my sin hurts those who are supporting me. Please help, what can I do, I am so weak and so much of me is wanting to give up and give in completely.

    • Hey Bethany, I’d say one of the ways we get free is by letting other people in to help us. Breaking the silence and shame around these issues is hugely helpful in getting free. There are great groups at xxxChurch for women. Plus, we’ve got a whole bunch of resources HERE for women fighting to be free. Get connected, start talking to other women. I really do believe that Love is the great freedom-bringer in our lives, and I know that there are safe people who will help demonstrate that Love to you as you take responsibility and work toward recovery. Blessings, Kay

    • Hi Bethany! You are courageous for sharing this, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Shame can lie to us and tell us we will never be able to overcome this stronghold. That is not true. I recommend praying for some other women you can talk to about this. There are so many women who have battled this. There are those who are on this journey and maybe even a little further down the road that can serve as a great encouragement to you. There is freedom available for you, and this is all a process. None of us walk out of this perfectly. I definitely haven’t, but that is ok. With God’s grace, we all can get back up again, even when we feel like we are one millimeter away from giving up forever.

      Keep going, and I pray that you find some ladies (or even one) that you can talk to about this. You will not feel as isolated, which will help you as well. Thank you for sharing this, and I will pray that you find the support you need right now. Don’t give up! There is so much hope for your future. It is not too late! ?

  6. I appreciate you sharing this. I’ve been addicted to pornography for a long time. I had given up any type of fight. Then God was gracious to put brothers in Christ into my life and I am fighting the never ending fight. I like what you said about this being a heart issue. I see that more and more each day as I stay sexually sober. I also will start putting into practice praying for those women whose images come into my mind. I want to have the proper perspective which is Gods perspective. Thanks again Amy.

    • William…it is NOT a never ending fight. There IS victory at the end…but you do have to do the battle to win the wars. Some want a quick battle. This is not reality. Every time you see a woman that “appeals” to your carnal nature, pray for her relationship with God to flourish.

      My husband is leaving our home in less than two weeks. He is too lazy to fight the battle for “US”. So I quietly let him go. “US” is not the more important issue at hand…his sanctification is…the marriage just is the vehicle that revealed it more clearly. I do believe that as he is set “free” and sickened by his on going lust and what it has cost him, that he will be better positioned to fight for victory…or give in to utter defeat. His choice.

      This can take years…I am prepared to wait.

      I will accept nothing back except a man who hates the sin of lust as much as I do (you will know that you hate that sin when you have nightmares about it)…because it separates him from all that God intended for him to truly enjoy in marriage and in sanctification with Him. I will be waiting a long long time.

      I need a long long time to heal from ten years of torment. I cannot trust a man who will not allow himself to get the victory over the sin that tears down the fabric of marriage as well as his own soul. He is is denial…that’s okay, God will not deny Truth…and if my husband belongs to God, he will be dealt with in time.

    • This is for “sweetz”

      My heart goes out to you, that’s a real shame that he would choose leaving. I thank God that I have resources to help me, and they are. “but” I would though disagree with the fight not being a never ending fight…it will “always” be an never ending fight. Porn is not going away, the world embraces it and is making tons of money with it. and as long as sex sells, we will always be bombarded with its images and temptations. Regular television has been using sex to advertise its shows, I do not have to point them out, we all see them advertised….it seems the raunchier they are the better the ratings….even food commercials have bowed down to this kind of advertising.

      I do agree that the longer on goes away from porn the easier it is to walk away from its temptations, but we will “always” have to guard our hearts and this is a “never ending battle.”

  7. Thank you Kay and Amy. I do actually have two accountability partners/friends. They are such an encouragement to me. I think the idea of admitting my wrongs to those who are so close to me, even though they know everything, is really hard and painful in that I know that when I choose sin I am hurting them too. But thank you, I know I can do this even though it is emotionally, mentally and physically so draining. Christ has lifted me up, and He also showed me so clearly a day or so ago just how much He loves me. He brought to my remembrance all the times that He has seen me fall so badly, and the ways that He has first warned, then pleaded and then finally grabbed me and not let me go. To see His love poured out again and again when I do not deserve it, that is a truth that really helps me to make the right choices and to walk in victory. When I wrote the other comment, I was desperate for help, when as I just said all I had to do was turn my eyes toward Jesus and be in His presence and grace. I do have a couple of questions. I know some practical ways to overcome porn, and that seems easier enough. Though I really struggle with acting out, and am in need of some ways to physically overcome. Stress and physical pains (headaches, body aches, and uncontrollable shaking) are big triggers for me, and I just want to be able to find ways to cope with all these things and other triggering situations in a positive and pure way. Any ideas? Along with the aches and shaking, I experience sleeplessness and nightmares, and it is such a hard fight at those times because the cravings are SO intense. I guess I’m asking, what are some ways to get through these tough times victorious? God bless you for your encouragement already.

    • So this sounds to me like you’re experiencing general anxiety/stress that then leads to self-soothing with porn? In that case, I’d say work on lowering anxiety overall. Make sure you’re getting enough exercise (and it should be serious cardio if you want it to impact anxiety levels), get outdoors into an unbuilt green space for 30 minutes each day, laugh every single day (funny youTube videos, whatever it takes), make sure you are doing at least ONE thing that you enjoy every single day. Yoga is often enormously helpful for anxiety issues. If you can’t impact the anxiety in those DIY ways, and it continues to impact your functioning, then it might be time to see your doctor to make sure everything’s okay physically.

      Between now and then, if you continue to experience the physical symptoms of anxiety, I’d suggest some simple behavioral interventions that can interrupt the normal cycle that you experience. Make a plan for when you’re stressed or in pain. Even having a plan as simple as, “I’ll get up and drink some water. I’ll take a walk around the block. I’ll watch that video of the cat with the light saber. I’ll listen to these three songs.” There are lots of templates for self-care plans online to help you think about simple, simple things you can do to make new healthier habits. The porn is distracting you from the pain and stress–replace it with something else.

      Also, I’ve lately been getting a lot of good feedback about a little app called Flowy. It only takes a second to download, and it’s specifically designed to help soothe anxiety by guiding you to breathe deeply while playing a simple little game on your phone. I’ve had clients with anxiety/OCD diagnoses tell me that it’s very helpful when they’re starting to feel distressed, and they’re in situations where they can’t necessarily get up and leave. There are other apps out there to help with stress if Flowy isn’t your thing.

      Let me know if those ideas help at all. Blessings, Kay

    • Hi Bethany – I am glad you have a couple people you can be accountable to. I understand the difficulty of telling someone what you’re going through but not wanting to hurt them at the same time.

      As far as your nightmares go, I used to have very vivid nightmares/dreams that would resemble the porn I used to look at. It still happens occasionally, but not nearly as often at all. It made the temptations so much worse. Maybe this is something you already do, but I am pretty diligent to pray something like this before I go to sleep. “I plead the blood of Jesus over myself and my dreams. Please protect my mind when I am asleep tonight. Surround me with Your warring angels as I sleep….” This has helped me so much.

      One thing that helps me the most when I’m facing temptation is to verbally express it to God. That was embarrassing and difficult for me to do at first, but it has gotten easier! Telling Him (out loud) what I was being tempted to do helped me tremendously, and it started to chip away at the deep shame I felt as well.

      Keep persevering. You are keeping your eyes on Jesus, which is the most important thing you can do. ?

  8. My ex-husband had me convinced that his lust for people around him was ok and not his fault. Now he has a smartphone and his exgirlfriend told me it was full of porn. What are your thoughts on lust….it killed my marriage.

    • I think it’s so important that we all recognize that we are responsible for the way that we think and how we choose to behave. That includes learning how to employ our sexuality in healthy ways, rather than using “lust” as an excuse to objectify others. We can choose to see other people as God’s fellow image-bearers in the world, rather than as body parts to be consumed. When we’re objectifying others, that will always destroy relationships, instead of bringing about the emotional intimacy that our expression of sexuality in relationship is designed for. It’s just a sad loss of what could be. Blessings, Kay

  9. Improving your prayers. 1) find someplace private and quiet. 2) make sure you are not seen. 3) kneel with your face to the floor. 4) Close your eyes and speak with Heavenly Father. 5) Close your prayer, sealing your intent in the name of Jesus Christ.

    God is to be praised and worshipped even as we suffer temptation. As we pray to the Father in our hours of temptation He will see that you are seeking His will and His Spirit will drive the temptation from you. Not praying you are subjecting yourself to more temptation unnecessarily. And remember, if you entertain temptation long enough, pretty soon it will begin to entertain you. James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

    • Also, recalling memorized scripture pertaining to lust has helped me fight off temptation. this is one of many ways to wield the sword of truth which is the Word of God. These 2 help me 1) Psalms 101:3 “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.”

      2) 2 Timothy 2: 22 “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

      Recite those until you have them memorized and you’ll find as I have that they can help you overcome the temptation of sexual sin.

  10. The sin of masturbation should be curbed. It is the first step leading down the path to porn addiction and worse.

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