About the author, Jon Snyder

Jon Snyder is the author of the Mighty Man Manual and founder of Mighty Man Ministries. After battling with lust and pornography since childhood and trying everything under the sun to quit, it was a unique encounter with the love of God and its subsequent lessons that began to unravel a lifetime of bondage and bring about true freedom. Jon now sees these same lessons radically set men free world-over.

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Your Brain on Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Watching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change people's sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.

24 thoughts on “Are You Repenting the Wrong Way?

  1. I have been praying for months that the Lord would teach me true repentance. In my struggle I have not been repenting and I knew it. Today, I have an answer to my prayers. Thanks for the insight in this article.

    • “This is how you start to get that love rooted in your heart so that God can do exceedingly and abundantly above all that you can ask or imagine!” The thing I hate about the endless advice about what we must do in order to be delivered, including repenting correctly, is summed up in this quote from Jon Snyder. Namely, that God’s almighty power, that can do more than we ask or imagine, is somehow utterly impotent and dependent upon us doing something first. Justification we had nothing to do with, but sanctification is basically up to us and THEN God can rush in and do something. If I have to have confidence in myself to help God help me, I’m doomed.

    • We struggle with the flesh I pray to you heavenly father Jehovah God to change me give me a clean heart so that I may not be a slave in bondage to sin that equals death in Jesus my lord and savior name amen.Troy B

  2. After some difficult times of rejection by my wife and vicariously experiencing my roomate’s finalized divorce, I’m feeling pretty beat up. I felt suicidal (no, I won’t seriously do it, because I have kids that I need to care for), depressed beyond what I can handle, and just pitying myself for the life that I have had to live, and the damage and results of the in-grained sin. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to take responsibility for my sin. Well, I am, and it’s more than I can handle. I’m trying to realize the Godly sorrow in this article, I am trying to give my selfishness to God, and I am trying to realize the new creation that God has put in me. It’s difficult when you have tidal waves of failure and consequences crashing over you. I have done more weeping in the last few weeks than I have ever done. I just don’t see any purpose to any of this pain at all, and I pray that God will make things more clear in my life, so that I can be of some use to His kingdom in this life.

    • Jeremiah, I’m sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I’m glad to hear that you’re able to remember that your kids need you, even when you feel hopeless.

      I hope you’ve been able to find a personal counselor–preferably someone who is a certified sexual addiction therapist (CSAT). Groups are also very helpful. SAA is probably a good fit for you. Even AA could be helpful.

      Godly sorrow is a good thing when it leads to repentance, which is just a fancy church word for CHANGE. And change is a thing that takes place, slowly, over time. It can take YEARS to rebuild all that has been broken by your pornography addiction. That’s going to be a long, hard lot of work.

      The purpose in that pain, the reason you do this work, is to bring you to a place where you can live free and clear, with open, honest, loving relationships unburdened by addiction.

      Even though, YES, it is your responsibility to do this work, there is support through counseling and groups that can help you keep moving forward in these tough times.

      Blessings, Kay

  3. That wasn’t the real me; that was some dead guy sinning (Romans 7:20)

    ^^^^ This is striking me in a particularly strong manner lately. ^^^^

    We are a new creation in Christ, and only that which lives to serve Him and His kingdom is going to survive into eternity. The more we feed, nurture, and grow into this new creation, there is so much more that we have to look forward to, and the sinful moments become less and less as we realize the true fulfillment of our new nature.

    Alternately, the more that we are dedicated to sin, the less likely that we either have the new creation within us, and thus the scriptures that tell us to not lie to ourselves and show that those that are dedicated to sin will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    Like the modern parable of the man that had two dogs and was able to successfully know which one would win the dog fight, we need to feed the dog that we want to have win. Somewhat of a shortfall of a parable, but if we truly love God, then we will love that which He has started in us and want to nurture and feed it into strength and predominance within our nature, that everything we do should glorify Him. Feed the new nature, not the old. And when the old wins occasionally, we have a mediator that is willing to stand in our place, shelter and mend us. He also lifts us up, renews and energizes us, and puts us back into the battle. I guess if we don’t care about the battle, we need to question what’s within us.

    • Right on, Jeremiah. It’s all about Romans 6:11, reckoning ourselves dead to sin (past tense), knowing we are united to the One who is dead to sin and alive to God. If the Spirit of the risen Christ is in us, then we have a new master, a new identity, and a new trajectory in life.

  4. Thanks for the article. I now know more about true repentance than I had before. Knowing this helps me be more motivated to serve and submit myself to God, having recently fallen in sexual sin and having repented of it, so that I can be sure I have repented the right way since I am not relying in my own strength and power to quit looking at pornography but in God’s.

  5. While not battle a sin of the sexual nature, I am devastated by the sin of anger. I finally realized through study of Romans today that I was not, in fact, sure of what repenting was. I did a google search of what real repentance looked like and your blog post popped up. I am so grateful as it has given me back my hope that I can get on my knees and cry out to God and finally let this go. I know what I’m looking for now. The scriptures you have highlighted are ones that I have read over and over but it was my heart that wasn’t right. It just needed the extra push. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, to being a mother, to being a daughter in Christ. I haven’t felt that way in so long, years even. Thank you.

  6. i don’t know how to have godly sorrow or to believe in what Jesus has done for me. i am like the dog that returns to its own vomit. i just recently did research on what a reprobate is and i believe i am doomed. i had been toying with God to long and i believe He has had enough. i want to have godly sorrow for my sins but i believe that my heart has hardened to the point to where it is only a matter of time until i go to hell and receive a horrible punishment. i am scared to pray or talk to God anymore because i feel as though my tears and words will be empty. After reading this article i am not 110% sure that this whole time i have been coming to God with worldly sorrow. i am afraid to tell Jesus that i love Him because i don’t believe that i ever truly loved Him and how horrible is it to lie to the Jesus. i do not want to give Him empty words or tears, that annoys Him.

    • Bryanna,

      Know that anytime you feel like God will not listen or does not want you to come to him, it is Satan telling you these things. We have freedom in Christ and He allows us to have a relationship with a loving God. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. God loves you, and it sounds like you have a desire to love Him, but your own condemnation is keeping you down. If Christ will not condemn you, why then would you condemn yourself. He paid for your sins on the cross. Turn your focus on Him, and don’t be focused or discouraged by your sin. Focus on service, loving God, loving others and doing things that please God. You will find joy and rest in knowing this is the Truth! God Bless You!

    • God loves you the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. You are not condemned. Jesus says play your games while I sit here and wait. He is waiting for you to come to him with an open heart . Let go of our doubt and enter the presence of God fearlessly and he will be there ready to cleanse you of every iniquity. God bless you man!

  7. This type of theology has allowed my husband to walk away from our marriage for no reason saying God knew all his sins past, present, future and he’s still saved so it doesn’t matter, God will restore him even though he has left his wife and three kids with barely even an explanation. You honestly are saying this is ok …. This is also what your article suggests.

  8. I feel like Judas that can’t find forgiveness I feel like the young rich ruler that is seeking to be saved. I first got saved in 2009 I was 29 I felt saved but backslided.Many years I return felt it it went away I began to sin. Return same way many times. Went back and fourth 100 times. I recently got saved again in April or May 2017, I felt the spirit. Spirit went away before church was over. Then ever since then I feel convicted day an not Goin to to sleep wake up . So I begin to sin again. I so I made my mind up I must not b saved so now every time I’m convicted at a altar call I go to b saved pray with a preacher. But I feel no different an no spirit afterwards . Idk what I’m doin wrong. Maybe it’s pride maybe I need to make my preacher understand and tell him but every time I tell him he doesn’t understand, he cuts me off an says it’s the devil but I keep sinning. I been saved or repented billion times. Baptized probably hundred times.bc I felt maybe I need to be baptized again too bc I’m feeling this way, but it didn’t help. Please pray for me I wanna go to heaven, Idk if I’m holding on or just not believing Jesus can save me. I pray every night all night I can’t sleep I cry all night. Sometimes at church bad thoughts enter my head devil tells me God and Jesus is laughing at me, they don’t want me, I can’t get saved and I almost cry . When I feel like I need to be saved my preacher I’ll tell my preacher but he just tell me I’m ok.And prays with me and it hurts my feelings bc I know I’m still sinning. And stuff I try to tell him but.he doesn’t understand. I only feel comfortable talking to one preacher bc he said he went many times before he felt it and was saved. But I’m kinda too embarrassed to tell him it didn’t take or I feel lost bc I got saved at his church 2 times already. But in know the end is any second now. The eclipse made me repent and come back. Now I don’t wanna wait a few years and tell people I wanna b saved again. Maybe I’m doin it out of fear of the end. That’s y I’m not being saved but I really do wanna be saved I’m scared and I just wanna b ready and saved

    • Justin,

      I have kind of felt the same way for a while now. I am not 100% sure I got saved when I was 13. I didn’t know what to say then but I bowed down in an altar and gave my heart to the Lord. Since I have renounced that I have gotten saved 3 or 4 times and I feel so stupid because something keeps taking me back to that morning when I was 13…..But you don’t need a preacher to pray with you if God is knocking on your heart bow down and just ask him to save you and He will….there was a service a while back I felt a heavy burden to go pray and I didn’t and I worry that God might have been dealing with me as lost and I didn’t move and I haven’t felt that same “knock” again and i worry…I do know that the Bible says we must come when the Spirit is Drawing us. Ask God to save you. My email is hyde.c2010@yahoo.com if you want to discuss this anymore.

  9. Ive been in a constant cycle of worldly sorrow. I’m also on an addictive medication that i know is keeping me from Gods presence. I have been crying nonstop as im in a cycle of this worldly sorrow. .. but i know 100000% I Was saved at 1 point. I was filled with overflowing with the Spirit.

    Is it too late for me? I dont have a clue of how to break free. Please HELP i don’t want to sin anymore but i can’t stop on my own. I’m in a downward cycle. Im so desperate and in despair.

    • Hey Robyn,
      I wonder if it would be helpful to you to find a therapist to talk with?
      Of course it is not too late for you! You are God’s precious child, chosen, safe, and wholly beloved.
      Peace to you,

  10. Glad to find such an interesting post. We are mere flesh and blood and so vulnerable to sin and the devil’s crafty devices. There is only one way and that is to allow the Holy Spirit to reside in us. Christians should never feel shy to confess their sins to God and repent. Salvation is ours through Christ Jesus. Amen.

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