Four months ago, when my pastor approached me to film my testimony, my thoughts went something like this: “Share my testimony? You mean, I would be telling the entire church that I have dealt with an addiction to pornography? No way they will take that well. I don’t want everyone to know about my past, to look at me and see that sex-crazed young girl who had the audacity to share her dirty laundry with the world.”
Within a few hours after being asked, my fears were gently eased and I agreed to share—yet I still felt the same reservations throughout the filming and the anticipation of its airing. The first time I saw the finished product was during one of the church services on the big screen, my voice filling up the auditorium and the feeling of tears slip down my cheeks.
What were people going to say? How were they going to react?
Jesus Stories: Liz Vogt from Impact Church on Vimeo.
My Testimony
Not once did I ever think that my struggles would ever be made public or that someone would want to hear them. Yet, the feedback from the video was overwhelmingly positive: not only did many resonate with my battle with pornography, but so many others came to ask for nuggets of advice from a weathered fighter. Even more found my boldness to be inspiring, which in turn made every struggle leading up to the video worth it. Soon I had sent my video to many of my close friends and family, wanting for them to be a part of this major step of faith and to celebrate not having to hide anymore.
While I am not proposing that everyone film their testimonies of sexual sin and broadcast it to the world, I am going to give some suggestions that I have gained in my fight against pornography. I would like to call them battle notes, because this struggle is not ending. Although I have freed myself from the bondage of pornography, I still have to fight to remain pure. I am not cured; I am set free. That difference changes everything.
If you are struggling with pornography, please take these notes to heart and remember to always give yourself grace in this journey. If you are reading this as someone who has not struggled with an addiction to pornography, take these as help for a future interaction with a loved one who battles. This struggle is only increasing in our world and we should all be equipped with strategies to help those that are bogged down by its slimy grip.
Seek the relief that comes with sharing.
Believe me, telling someone that you struggle with pornography is terrifying. If that thought does not create a pit in your stomach and a trail of butterflies in your torso, than this must not be a real problem in your life. Admitting to someone that you struggle with this means being vulnerable and taking off the veil that we try so hard to keep up. You do not get to control the reactions of the people that you tell, but do not let that fear be an excuse.
Choose someone that you trust and who loves and cares enough about you to listen. They might need time to deal with it, especially if it has been a secret for an extended amount of time. When you are looking to find someone to ask, consider a few things.
- Have they been a confidant in the past? If so, how have they handled the information you have given them?
- Are they a Christ follower? If not, it would be best to find someone who is and can share that hope with your battle.
- Do you believe that they will be someone that will be there for the long run who can keep you accountable and is brave enough to call you out when you fail? Longevity in battles with addictions are important, so make sure to trust someone who has the potential to be around for a while.
Despite all the fears that sharing brings, begin by mustering the courage to let the words out. Say it: “I struggle with pornography and I need help.” It means swallowing your pride, but it is better than living daily with a fear of being caught or the overpowering guilt that comes from giving in. The first step is to admit that you need help. Once you do that, you are not alone, someone else can share the burden with you. And that is everything.
The start of freedom comes when you decide you are not going to let this eat you up anymore.
One of the hardest parts of breaking my struggle with pornography was figuring out what drove me to watching it. The ancient philosopher Socrates said, “Know thyself.” This can be one of the longest parts of the process.
We are drawn to pornography for many different reasons. Some use it as an outlet for sexual tension, others do not find their worth in the world so they seek it from a screen, and many use it as an area of their life that they can control. (As hard as some try to convince me, no one looks at pornography for the artistic quality.) Everyone has internal and external problems that draw them in, insecurities that seek to be fed and rationalized excuses that drown out the still small voice that says ‘no.’ You need to figure out what those are.
For me, I know that one of my triggers is loneliness. When I find myself disengaged from people or upset by someone, I must not allow myself to be alone. Everyone has triggers and it is vital that they are identified so they can be countered. This part of the journey is all about learning your limits. Just as with any addiction, some can handle more than others at different points in the process. For me, I did not need to give up my phone or my computer because I could handle the pressure as long as I had people that were keeping me accountable and knew what I was doing on the Internet. Hard decisions need to be made on when to be alone, where you have access to technology and how you use that technology.
This also means looking at media and music choices. In my life I have to be extremely careful about the romantic comedies that I watch or the suggestive music because those are some of the triggers that I have discovered. Pornography does not just have to be videos; it can be books, movies, and articles. I have talked to people who have not once accessed a pornography site and yet struggle with reading explicit content online. The sin is out there and has many faces, all of which need to fought against. Again, search yourself and your intentions.
Know what draws you to pornography and seek to put in safeguards that do not allow them to shut out the voice. In my life, accountability has taken on the form of maintaining safeguards that I have set up. Most importantly, I have several people in my life who are aware of my struggle and who will frequently ask where I am at with this battle. They also know the passwords to my computer and can access my history at any point. In high school, my parents put a software on my computer that did not allow anyone to access certain pages on the Internet in order to protect our family. There are many resources out there—check them out!
I felt like I wasn’t even worthy to think about God, let alone think that He loves me.
Let’s admit it: in many of our churches, discussions about sex can be frowned upon or even considered inappropriate. While many will be the first to discuss the importance of abstinence, the others issues can be left on the wayside, especially when it comes to any issues of lust for women. For instance, just bring up struggling with pornography in a group of people after a service and watch the aftermath. This is not how it should be.
We are fallen beings and nothing is new under the sun: people are struggling with pornography in our churches. I grew up in the church struggling with this and never felt comfortable enough to admit it. All I wanted was to know that I would not be judged. I did not want to tell someone that I was sinning and them turn around and show my parents how messed up I was, so I remained silent. With my struggle with pornography and sexual sin, God became someone that I had to hide from, not one that I saw as merciful or loving. My friends became those that could find out my secret, so I ran from them, even if they truly had the best intentions. Instead of looking for the love that I was given, I looked for the faults of others, because if I could find faults in them than I could feel better about myself.
I should have been seeking openness and healing, yet I continued to hide behind my walls for fear that I would share how dirty I actually am and lose the Christian image that I had worked so hard to build up. I can look back and see how my heart became impenetrable and my head unwilling to let anyone in. I was worthless, unlovable, and dirty, only worthy of shame and punishment. And this is all because I let that sin make a home in my heart, a place that should have been hostile to it but yet became its dwelling place at the expense of my own freedom.
If you are struggling with pornography, please know that God is inviting you to bring Him your struggles and your failures. You do not need to live behind walls of protection, because there is freedom that can tear those down and start healing what sin has broken. With Jesus, we are not dirty, worthless or broken—we are redeemed, restored, and made clean!
I had to learn to believe that God wanted something to do with me. My sins did not make him run away. His arms were open just the same. Whether you have looked at porn once or multiple times a day, God wants to change your mind about how He sees you. And if you are someone who is helping someone who struggles with this, let them know how much you love them and how much God loves them even more. We are not in bondage anymore, why should we live that way?
Lastly, know that this will be a battle that will always need to be fought. We might think that we have conquered it and yet it rears its head when we are weak. Safeguards constantly need to be put into place. You need allies in your recovery to continually ask how you are doing. And you also need to continue to look at where you are and see if anything needs to change. Keep fighting, friends!
You are a hero. =) You are so brave to speak out about your problem; I’m positive that God is using you to help others (like me) overcome the bonds of sexual addiction. I have a very similar story to yours, being introduced to sexual images at an early age… images that I didn’t understand and didn’t know how to process what I was feeling. As a woman its not okay to talk about the fact that we have sexual addictions, that’s a “man’s problem,” and we are viewed as being extra “odd or dirty somehow,” for facing the very same problems that our male counterparts have. Its so nice to know that I’m not alone. You look empowered in that video; you shined a light on your sin and you’re not letting it control your life anymore. I hope to be like you someday!
Hope, thank you so much for your kind comment. I am only brave because God has granted me boldness. Without Him, I would still be held in bondage. I am so grateful that you are able to see His light in me and that in His freedom I am truly free. I am praying that you find many around you who can walk alongside you in your journey. You are surely not alone, there are so many out there that just need to hear a voice that says, “You are not alone”. You might still be struggling, but you can be that light and voice, too!
i am struggling badly on this topic. Trying to become the person God has put me on this earth to be. Every so often I fall back into Satan’s path. He keeps pushing those buttons on the back of my head. I don’t have any support or anyone right now I can turn to so your story has me thinking And trying to beat this. Thank you
I do admire your boldness and God has done such a wonderful thing and you and I am proud of this you are so beautiful inside and out and we just love you so much and I’ve also can agree that I’ve been introduced to images and videos of pornography e t c but God is an overcomer and he made us that way so I’m so happy for you and keep praying for us that struggle love you sister
Hi my name is mia I’m 15 years old I first became addicted and introduced to porn at age nine and i stopped and went back at age 11 and i kept going honestly i feel it would be better for me to tell you then to type all of this because i need physical and mental help it’s a whole lot of information and a story to tell bc I struggle every once in a while with this and its gotten tough I became suicidal and started thinking of ending my life at age 13 when I made a mistake and told my bestfriend about my addiction to porn and how I would play with myself or masturbate at the same time and she decided to screenshot and post it her and my other friend all over social media because we all got into a stupid argument and it made me lose trust for everyone I got hurtful comments from people I didnt even know telling me to clean my pussy and I shouldn’t even be here I should be ashamed telling me I stink or I’m ugly or I am a dirty figure in this world and I became so dark from that moment I stopped loving myself I became even twice as insecure as I was before people will tell me I have a big forehead or my nose is wide I have alot of acne my eyes are small I have nappy hair for a mixed girl I’m ugly or I’m skinny I have no meat I’m two uneven I’m too shy I’m weird or outspoken and some people would think it’s a joke but they didnt realize how much their words would torment me even my mom would tell me how I’m so ungrateful how I’m a spoiled brat and I dont appreciate anything how she wishes I was like bailey who always happy and she wishes I was a pleasent child how I embarres her so much and how I always want me me me and that hurts me bc all I asked her to do was to help me and she says that to me bc I’m broken in her eyes and I started to believe that that made me feel unlovable and unaccepted worthless I developed an eating disorder and I had darkness and hate inside me my mom would mock me or make fun of me and call me manic which is a mental sickness that I have and all I would do is look st myself in the mirror and wish I was not here. I would get jealous when everyone would look at my friends and tell them how pretty they are how gorgeous and all I would see is flaws and they would look right past that how boys would stare at my friends and when it came to me lots of people would just point out the negative and it made me feel like no one thinks I’m pretty they are laughing st me no one would think they would even want to be with me and I became so lonely bc all of my friends are talking or with someone and all I do is daydream I would get comments from so many people on how pretty I am but it made me feel so insecure even hearing that bc of how lonely I am it’s like no matter what nothing no one says can change that even I would lock myself in the bathroom or stay in a stall if I had no makeup on or sit in the back of the church or cover my self and have my or nose covered up afraid anyone would smell me or my breath I’m deeply wounded inside and after reading and watching this i understand why I’m addicted to porn and masturbation and I’m so tired of letting it eat me up and I need serious guidance and help I could really use someone right now please
Hi Mia,
Your story just breaks my heart.
First of all, let me say that you have been through a LOT. Being exposed to porn as a child is actually a form of abuse. Many children will display symptoms of trauma after exposure to pornography, and re-enacting the trauma is actually one of those trauma symptoms. So while I definitely do think you need help around this issue, I would say that you need help and healing for the trauma you have been through. You do not need to be shamed or made to feel as though you are a bad person. I hope you don’t feel that way when you read the articles here, because you are precious and beloved, absolutely perfectly created in the image of God. You deserve to be treated as that valuable and precious person by others, even though they don’t understand that right now.
Second, I am wondering if there is a safe adult in your world that you could turn to for support? I would love for you to be in therapy with a good counselor so that you can work through the bullying and the abuse that your friends and family have heaped on you. Would your mom be willing to take you to therapy? If you aren’t able to get support from your mom, a school counselor would be an excellent resource for you.
Third, I want to tell you that no matter what anybody else says, YOU ARE PRECIOUS AND VALUABLE AND SO LOVED. I want you to start treating yourself in accordance with that truth. Block those abusive people from your social media, and do not entertain their lies for one second. No matter what anybody else says or does, YOU have the choice to treat yourself with dignity and respect. You have the ability to shield yourself from the lies and abuse that are thrown at you: you don’t have to accept those words as reality, because they are NOT.
I’ll be sending these things to you via private message so that I make sure you hear them!
Peace to you,
Kay
Thank you so much for writing this. So many things in this article are exactly how I feel. You are an inspiration to me & your story gives me hope. Like you said, we aren’t cured, we’re set free and it will always be a daily battle to stay pure.
And you know, Lynn, we’re always loved with an everlasting love, even in the battle. I think so much about the verse in Romans that says “the kindness of God leads us to repentance.” No matter what it is, no matter what we’ve done, God’s love is always, always there. Blessings, Kay
Lynn,
Yes, it is absolutely a daily battle. As much as I would love to say that I am cured from this, I am not. I fight against it everyday. Some days are easier than others. Continue seeking out God’s grace in each and every day. It’s never about the amount of days we stay away, but the strength and courage that we gain each time that we seek God amidst temptation and refuge to give in. I am so thankful that my story was able to shed some hope, I hope that you can be a hope-bringer as well!
Hello, I know it’s been two years or so, but I just came across this on my Bible app and wanted to know how Mia is doing now.
With herself, friends, family and most importantly God our Father.
I believe she is great and walking with God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
From a woman who also struggles with porn addiction, thank you so much for sharing your story!
I hear and read so much how women, also, struggle with this addiction. But, I still , do not know why, what triggers it and can it really be controlled with the world we live in now ? Does it start with romance novels than to a higher level in movies, where it is ok and everybody is doing it is the new normal ? What are the numbers of women that start with their girl friends in a curious way, and than stick with that pattern, or take it with the opposite side ?
Thank you for being obedient in sharing your testimony with others. You have no idea how far-reaching your words have been and will continue to be. God has made you victorious and I’d love to be as open and vulnerable someday as you are. Thanks again!
It’s really nice to know that it’s not just guys who have this problem. As a guy, I would rather talk to a woman about porn addiction than another dude friend. I feel like my dude friends wouldn’t understand my problem, or they would just say “how is that a problem”? And offer zero help or support.
You’re right – a lot of guys may not see porn as a problem, so picking an accountability partner can be very tough! If you’re having a hard time finding one, check out this blog post.
We generally recommend finding an accountability partner of the same gender for a couple of reasons. First, and I’m going to be a little gender-stereotyping here, men and women often approach life differently. Men are better at speaking and hearing tough love, and women are better at speaking and hearing compassion. Men may be sucked in by porn’s visual effect; women may be sucked in for more emotional reasons.
Second, male-female accountability may be asking for trouble. Ideally, a strong accountability relationship reaches a certain level of intimacy, and especially if both people are young and unmarried, this can lead to confusion about the status of the relationship, with one person misreading the attention as romantic interest. In fact, when a husband is struggling with porn, we don’t even recommend that the wife is the sole accountability partner; she may read slip-ups as personal insults, and lash out in anger and hurt as opposed to the tough love provided by another guy.
There may be limited circumstances where male-female accountability relationships work, but think through it prayerfully and carefully before you proceed.
Hey TS! Check out SamsonSociety.org & the book Samson & the Pirate Monks. This will help u connect to transparent brotherhood & understand why this is our only hope of freedom. Don’t fall for the temptation to seek female accountability- that’s like a forest fire saying the best way to put it out is to smother it with a tanker of gas. I’m guessing the gal you’re thinking of is attractive? C’mon bro!
Being married for 27 years..and a christian for. Basically my entire life. Apart from rebellious youth I find myself indulge in online affairs. Not yet able to trust any person in my church. But trusting God and with the help of covenant eyes to becoming pure once again.
Hey Heidi, Thanks for being open and vulnerable here. I think it’s pretty hard to work yourself out of stuff like this without support. And you’d know best if your church is a safe place or not–lots of churches just aren’t, unfortunately. Some are! But there are other places to turn for support, like the American Association of Christian Counselors, which has lots of different counselors in tons of places. Even when you have the very best of intentions, it’s hard to leave long-term habits behind. Usually there’s a fair number of setbacks on the road to recovery, and it’s just good to have support while you’re picking yourself back up every time. Blessings, Kay
Thank you everyone for your kind words – it is women like you that gave me the motivation to be bold about my story. As women, our stories are so important to this generation as porn becomes more of a problem for both genders. Let your voice be heard and remember that there are so many of us who are just waiting to surround you with love and hope!
The mental images that still pop up after trying to quit porn can be unexpected and invasive. Another way evil keeps it’s foot in the door. I prayed over those people and images. Particularly the women. I prayed for them that they would be set free from the bondage and slavery they are under. They are our sisters and brothers in Christ. I truly believe praying for them, their hurts and pain helped me to see this addiction in a different light. It helped me see the bigger spiritual battle in this new age slavery epidemic. It also helped me to not have as many images popping into my head.
Hello, I know it’s been two years or so, but I just came across this on my Bible app and wanted to know how Mia is doing now.
With herself, friends, family and most importantly God our Father.
I believe she is great and walking with God.
May The Lord bless you, Liz, for your amazing testimony! It’s the first time I see the female side of this awful struggle, and it’s like more “weapons” to keep up!!
This text reached many people around the world, including me, once I’m brazilian!
I’d like to share 2 versicles I really enjoy, and that always renew my desire towards purity.
“For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.
For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God.”
Galatians 2:18, 19
Warm greetings from Brazil
Rodrigo,
Thank you for your kind reply. What a blessing it is to know that the Internet connects us to so many incredible Christ followers all over this world! May God bless you in your pursuit of holiness and purity!
Liz you are my Hero, you are bold & courageous, Seeing your testimony gives me hope. As a guy I grew up getting use to hearing people say well everyone does it, its just something guys do until marriage, etc. So even though ive kept this secret for about 2 decades I told myself hey its just a casual habit, a few binges here & there but no big deal I can ditch it later. Ill spare you the details of my life but I have several things Ive struggled with through my life & ive been able, with Gods help, to conquer nearly all of them, but this one is the first, its the hardest, infact I didnt consider it a problem until something I did a few years ago made me think wait, I just might have a problem. So the fight has been going on & off ever since. Honestly until this year ive had no real resolve or victory but something about this year is different, its like God is more defined in my life, its kinda hard to explain but I suppose God is giving my strength & helping me becoming battle hardened, but in a positive way.
Praise God for bringing you resolve and determination amidst this battle! We can only conquer this battle with His strength and grace. I know exactly what you mean when you say the “fight is on and off”. Sometimes in my own life it’s easiest to give up the fight for a bit, but God is always faithful to draw me near to Him and remind me that I do not fight alone. I will be praying for your journey as you take steps to rid this from your life!
Thank you for your prayers Liz, I will pray for you & others who struggle with this so we all may know we are not alone.
Is it odd that a male is interviewing a female about her sinful sexual desires? Just a thought.
Odd? Not sure. What would make it odd? Since it likely involved a filming crew, I’m not sure it was just a lone male sitting across from a lone female having a fireside chat about sex. All the same, I see why some my think it strange. I once interviewed three women at at time on this very subject—something I was hesitant about at first, but it proved to be a very lively and eye-opening conversation for everyone. I think in the right setting, it can help participants to dispel potential myths we may have about the opposite sex.
Does seem a little strange………
Liz,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although I’m a male, what you did I find very courageous; I’m not able at this moment to do this. What happened to the video? It was supposed to be here: https://vimeo.com/89152163
Thank you. I can’t say that enough. I needed to hear these words, know I’m not alone, know I’m not worthless, know there’s hope. I have felt free before, and I long to feel it again. In these moments it’s hard to believe I’ll ever feel free again. testimonies like yours give me strength.
Liz your story touched my heart. As a guy that has struggled for years and years from a young age like you I find comfort in knowing you found freedom. It absolutely is a daily battle and you’re right about the “power and freedom” in the name of Jesus. Thanks for being strong and sharing your story.
Your Brother in Christ
I don’t know how to break free of my lust. I’ve been struggling with this long enough that my mind has become twisted. I often struggle with the idea that I’m not doing anything wrong. I feel shame at the idea of telling people, but I don’t feel shame about doing it most of the time. My prayer, since this began, has been for the Lord to allow me to see my actions the way He does, but I still can’t help but question my own understanding of the scripture and God’s will. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is inspiring to hear what God has done in your life. Your story gives me hope that with the help of God and others I can fight this and break free.
Wow! Thank you for sharing that! I really needed to hear that. And to know that I’m not alone and just the fact that a woman struggled with that yet was so bold to admit it and how God has used you to help change other people’s life’s and views is amazing. To God be the glory!! 💯 I’m praying and declaring that I will defeat it too
Hi Liz! Thanks so much for overcoming your fears, being transparent & seeking to share His victory with others. I pray that you & some ladies out there can start a sisterhood of fellowship like SamsonSociety.org & the book Samson & The Pirate Monks is for men. MAY He bless & protect, encourage & embolden you all the days of your life, to fight this sin, develop deeply transparent relationships and be his witness to a broken & hurting world!
Thank you for sharing your story! I was almost in tears listening to your testimony because everything you said is what I’m facing. As a young woman I’ve been struggling with the addiction of porn. At times I feel worthless, unloved, and dirty. Hearing your testimony made me realize that I am not alone and that God does love me. I remember sharing it for the first time with someone really close to me, and come to find out that she used to go through the same struggle! It’s a daily battle, but I know I desperately want to overcome it. Your story gives me hope that I can fight this and break free from it as well! Thank you again. :)
Thank you so much for your transparency and willingness to let God use you. My addiction is not to porn per say, but to masturbation. Whew, that was even a struggle to type that. How ever, God has truly allowed me to open up about it with some of my Christian friends,which in turn realized that they had similar struggles. We are now holding each other accountable. This week has really been a struggle to not give into my flesh, but God has been keeping me. I’m learning to take one day at a time and to celebrate the small victories.
I told my best friend and my girlfriend.
My best friend struggles with smoking before this it was porn, while he is a Christian he is a bit more of a “sunday boy” and being around him generally isn’t a good influence on me.. whe can sit at the fire till light comes but the chats aren’t really holly
Luckily i dont live with or near him so over text things are very different amd he claims as long as i hold him accountable he will do the same for me.. is this a bad combo two people struggling with different things.
Also i want to tell my family, but we are missionaries and i have seen how secrets like this break them when they find out.
Twice now students who were also my friends got caught with big stuff.. they have moved beyond porn and towards abuse… Every time both my parents get depressed and really sad, further more at this moment there are some things that are causing a hard time.. atleast for them. (I promised my self to stay away from all the drama a long time ago) all of this is making me not be able to tell them.. and more so im afraid that ill be judged by the students and volunteers on the base… It also doesn’t help that everybody to this day makes jokes about thise two students… I have been growing in faith and i have found a fire for the lord almighty… I have a gameplan… Me and my friend also came to the conclusion that we will check of the days we stay clean so we can see our progress… What do you think?
I have been dealing with my Porn addiction since I was very young. It started out from looking at swimsuit magazines that my mom had subscribed to that were mailed to her. I would take them when my mom had thrown them away, and I would hide them under my bed. My mom eventually found them. Though they were not considered porn magazines, it set me on a path that would ultimately lead to me looking up porn on the internet. I did not start looking at porn on a more continuous basis until I was 13. Around that time I was feeling neglected by my parents, unwanted and I did not feel like I fit in at school at all. over the years I used porn to subside my loneliness and as a substitute for love that I did not receive from friends or family. My addiction has become worse ever since I joined the military where porn, masturbating, and indulging in sexual pleasures is encouraged to bolster morale. For me, on the other hand, I know it is all wrong, so I feel very isolated and alone in my endeavers to remain pure. I think very battle worn, and I feel almost hopeless as if I will ever overcome this addiction of mine and I struggle to keep fighting.
This video has given me hope and has made me feel like I am not alone in this. I am grateful that you have given us your testimony and I pray that You continue in prevailing in your fight against this sin.
Hi Li. I wast to break away from addiction. Do you think I can talk to my school emotional counsellor ??
A school counselor is a great place to start with help.
Liz,
This was such an inspirational video and story to read. I commend you on your success and sincerely appreciate you sharing it with the world. I found quite a few similarities between you and I in our battle. You are further along than I am, however your story gives me so much motivation and fighting power. Congratulations on your freedom.
God is so gracious and merciful, I can’t comprehend it. I know I can’t beat it without Him involved and some of those thoughts you had were the same that I had.
Again, thank you for sharing. You are an amazing woman!
Hi Liz Vogt,
Hi, just call me Nick(not my real name), a Filipino but a Canadian Citizen, living here in Canada. I am amazed and blessed to hear your story, I didn’t know that a female also struggling in porn, and I salute you for your courage to tell it. I’ve been struggling at porn for about 20 years now, and it a shame because I’m a christian too. I tried hard to stop it but once in a while I will fall again then stand up again and fall again then stand up again and it keeps in that cycle. And I learned from this that I need an accountability partner to fight this but I’m so ashamed and don’t know who to choose for an accountability partner. And while watching your video, It came to my mind that maybe it’s better to choose an accountability partner that you never know personally but can be trusted and a christian and know exactly what’s going on. And so, I’m just wondering If I can make you an accountability partner?
Hi Liz,
Your article and video were very very encouraging. I was engage to pornography at the age of 6 too. I never knew how but it just happen. Previously, I didn’t care of any of my sexual desire but recently I start to get conscious about it. Like how people will look at me and what will they think of me, such a lustful girl.
I know that there are people out there who watch porn but I forgotten that a god is up there so merciful that he will forgive us. 3 years ago, I confessed this to 2 of my best friend. Slowly, I realize that most of my friends watch porn and have sexual desires as well. Few months later, people start seeing me as a person who watch porn but she is a Christian. But, I’m very grateful to god because not only they didn’t look down at me but they supported me. They told me is okay to watch but if you want to quit, they believe I can do it! I was very touched.
Slowly, I started coming back to god but the desires did not fade. This was where I start feeling shameful of what I’ve did and didn’t know how to overcome it. I might not have the bravery of confessing to the public or my parents. But one thing I know for sure is that I may help those who needs help, who needs guidance because god had help me.
Desires will always be there but if you believe in god, one day those desires can be a testimony.
Once again, I want to thank you, Liz, very very much by sharing your testimony to many. It was very encouraging to hear that god had helped so many people, girls, boys, man or women in overcoming the sins that they struggle with.
All Glory to God!!
Thanks so much Liz for sharing your testimony. I struggled with masturbation for years. About a year ago I got into pornography. When I first opened up about it I was told this is something women don’t generally struggle with. This only added to the shame and loneliness that drove me back to it.
I now have been using Screen Accountability and I also have found two safe friends to walk with me through the journey. I wouldn’t say I have found complete freedom yet but I have been starting to experience healing.
To hear other women share what God has done for them in this area is extremely encouraging to me.
My story is very similar. Watching this brought tears to my eyes. I wish so bad that there wasn’t such a stigma associated with this for girls. I wish we could all start a support group together for young girls struggling with this. Thank you for sharing your testimony. You have no idea how many lives its touching.
Same!! Girls need help and support too. I hope to share my testimony with others in the same way in the future. Girls need to know that they are not alone!
It’s beautiful to know we’re not alone through addiction that God is patient loving forgiving and kind praise God for those fighting sin you keep up the good fight 💪
2 Timothy 4:7-8 NIV
I was wondering has any one experienced actuall spirual effects from watching porn. Spiritual attack, invasion, demonic presence ect…. I believe in my journey it has allowed me to see that for sure there is an enemy and I must really need to STOP, RUN FROM, watching pornographers for the sack of my soul and sanity.
All in all I thank god for he is helping me win this spiritual battle day by day.
I’ve definitely felt the grip of guilt, shame, and condemnation. It’s like I hear the enemy gloating. And the fear of exposure was paralyzing. But I pray for the Grace of God to help me overcome that spiritual battle and never fails to bring His wonderful peace! :)
What about other forms of porn not mentioned. Where’s the help for those people?
None that’s what.
Liz,
It’s good to know that women struggle with this also.
I thought only men have this problem.
You are brave to tell the world, but it helps me know I’m not the only one. Man or woman.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I was very addicted to porn. Then I accepted Jesus and everything’s change… For a while. There came a time when I started again, even being in the church … I have prayed and fasted a lot for that. At the moment I do not need pornography, but I have felt several times the need to masturbate .. I keep fighting with this one day at a time … I am 43 years old, divorced …
Shary,
Thank you for being so honest and open in your struggles! Not one of us is exempt from the temptations of sin, and I want to encourage you to keep fighting the good fight! I would encourage you to find fellowship and accountability in other believers. It truly is a battle that must be fought one day at a time! Do not give up hope – for in Christ, we have complete, beautiful hope.
Blessings,
Moriah
To Liz and all who have shared, thank you. You all have just made me realize, once again, just how loving and faithful our one and only God is. My addiction to porn has been a part of my life for a very long time. I say this mainly because I am a 72 year old man and have been married for 51 years. I too believed as long as no one was “hurt” by my addiction, everything was all right. I professed to be a Christian for most of my life until I was caught in a most horrific trap on the internet. You see porn had been a part of my life since I was quite young and continued until about two and a half years ago. I was providentially starting in a new church in the city we live in and our new pastor was kind enough to take on this challenge with my wife and I. He counseled us for just over a year before I was able to see just how critical my situation was. After the counseling and some real hard times I was finally able to see, only with God’s help, that I truly need Him. With some recent issues my wonderful, loving wife reminded me that Satan is a “roaring lion” constantly trying to devour us and he will not let go. Please, please, all of you who are tangled up in this sin, keep seeking help until you find it. It is never too late! God is so good.
Wow. What a great testimony. It brought me to tears and when she said that she had been free for 1 year, I am so happy for her and hope to strive for that in my life too. I love how she ended it. “I have been cut free from the cords of the wicked”
My name is Greg I to have been struggling with pornography and masterbating it’s something I desperately want to break free of I gave my life to Jesus Christ almost 3 years ago and it’s been on and off I’ve gone to my church to try to seek help with my addiction and it’s been helping but then I still give in I want to break free from my sin I can’t keep letting Jesus down I seen all theses wonderful testimony and I’d love to be totally free from porn
Hi Greg!
Praise God that you desire change and are clinging to Christ in your struggles. Are you using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability? This is an incredible tool that has helped SO many people overcome pornography addiction.
Also – do you have an ally? This can be anyone you trust to hold you accountable! For many, it is a church leader, personal mentor, counselor, or close friend. We cannot overcome sin alone!
Do not let other’s testimonies bring you down. Every recovery story is different. Keep fighting the good fight and be encouraged by the hope of others. Blessings!
Moriah
This is amazing, but, what happened to Mia? A young girl left a comment here eluding that she would no longer be alive right now; I hope someone connected with her.
I just wanted to tell you that God loves you, cherishes you, and wants to have a deep relationship with you, just open up your heart to him and he will hear you. Along with that, I have read other comments and just know that God understands you, and also lets just pray for people who deal with this same issue, as I guess I still sometimes have, and Mia, if you read this I’m praying for you, God loves you and Jesus does too.
This is amazing! I felt the same way. I kept asking myself why people never talked about girls struggling with porn? That made me hide all the more! Recently, God has set me free from that fear of man and I’ve confessed. It feels amazing!!! I’ve been drowning myself in books, studies, commentaries, etc… Learning about how God feels about sexual desires and love. I’m loving the journey because I’m FREE to be imperfect. It’s so beautiful. I thank God for women like you – keep it up for all of us! <3
I became addicted to porn at the age of 11 and now I’m 23 year old. Porn made me feel good, independent from men and stressed free. I thought that I would not be sinning if I watch porn rather than sleeping with boys. When I was around 18 I realize that I had to stop somehow. I tried not to watch porn for at least a week, but I couldn’t do that. Every time I wasn’t busy with my school work or something else, I would watch porn. So I thought to myself let me just stop fighting this eventually it will stop, but guess what it didn’t. It trapped me deep inside such that I felt lonely without it and I needed it. Sometimes I felt like God had left me and I’m no my own. But I told myself that I will keep on fighting this and someday I would overcome it………
So now I can spend a month without pornography and I proud of that. I started a 40 day plan to overcome pornography. I believe that God has given me the strength to fight this addiction and that He’s with me in every step I take. And now I wanna be free from the power of pornography, so that I can live a normal life like a child of God. I thank God everyday and always.
Dear Liz,
Wow. What bravery and nobility. I remember asking someone in Al-Anon Family Groups who freely admitted to being a dual member (also in Alcoholics Anonymous) if there was a recovery society for people devouring porn and finding their only comfort this way. I got lucky enough… Or was blessed enough, really… To have selected a Sex Addicts Anonymous member for this inquiry!! I launched recovery in 2014 and I am just now on the cusp of lasting healing. So much societal stigma… Every male sex addict is presumed a pedophile or potential rapist and assigned the label “creepy”; every female as a “Scarlet Letter” woman or “home-wrecker” who is morally hopeless.
So glad to see people striking out and declaring their testimony in the light, so that all may sense a light of compassion for the driving root causes of unmet needs or persistent trauma. I am blessed by reading this, and I am grateful that God has led you to freedom. Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!
Also, I pray for Mia’s safety and recovery.
Thanks again,
Benjamin
I lost my last relationship due to my sexual addiction. She is also an addict but refuses to see herself as broken and in need of Jesus. I have been “battling” this for years. Now I am currently 4 days porn and lust free. It’s not a lot, but I will take the victories as God gives them. I’ve surrounded myself with good Godly men. And am receiving support and accountability as well as counseling. God is healing me. It’s painful and it’s a process. But I love the thing you said about being set free. This video made me cry and really gave me a heart of intercession for my ex. I hope she sees this video someday. But I have hope in restoration and healing. Thank you for sharing your story! It gives me hope!
Jason,
Four days free is amazing! You should be proud of that. Keep up the fight! Freedom is SO worth it.
Blessings,
Moriah
Wow, you are so brave, I wish I could do what you have done, I have been struggling will porn for for some years now, I wish I could tell someone about it but l have no choice but to fight this alone cause I’m the first child and I can’t tell my younger ones about it, I can’t also tell my parents cause of how strict they are cause I know how disappointed they will and how they won’t understand that the struggle is real, and I don’t have any friend of which I can fully trust with this, I just hope I get out of this without sharing it although I know that will give me alot of relief but I can never build up the courage, I can’t even do a confession to the Father at the church cause of how I’m so ashamed. But thanks for sharing your story and I hope more people including myself can come up and share their story and struggles like you have.
Gracious,
You are not alone! There are many women who are currently silently struggling with porn use. Just like with men who use porn: shame has no place in recovery from porn. Women often feel more shame because of the messaging surrounding porn use and porn recovery is often aimed at men, but women struggle too, and it’s OK to admit it. We are putting on a free virtual summit next week (Oct 5-Oct 9) with Living on Purpose centered on this very topic. Over 30 experts and storytellers in the subject of female porn use and recovery are presenting and hosting live sessions-you may find the strength you need to be able to talk to someone in your life about your struggles. Wherever your journey takes you, know that you have support and prayers here at Covenant Eyes.
Blessings,
Samantha
Job: Porn addiction is real. It is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It takes a day to day, minute by minute effort to stop it. It does not fulfill the will of Jesus to love others. It makes people an object of lust instead of a person to care about. It even addicts individuals to themselves for personal pleasure. It changes the chemistry of the brain like a drug. It is the normal attraction to love in a Christian relationship, but avoids that caring love with porn. I went to an app. used for holy pictures, travel, recipes, etc., but I made the mistake of putting “human beauty” on my requests. While it showed pictures of fashion models, it also went into porn. I had to get an ally friend to delete the app, sad to say. Yet, I felt free in Jesus to stop the addiction.Covenant Eyes and Victory were recommended to me by a Church Youth Minister. I have always been grateful for that referral! i also advise others with porn issues to look up those sites. What freedom in Jesus by His Divine Grace takes place. Praise God! I am now free of porn one day, and one minute at a time! It is still a struggle, but I have a friend to help when I am weak. By God’s love i will win in Jesus! Praise God!!! With prayers for myself and all who struggle, From Job