It happened again. I met with a wife of a sexual struggler who shared a story that is becoming all too familiar. After discovering her husband had been viewing pornography, she went to her pastor seeking counsel. But what she received instead was an uncomfortable lesson on testosterone levels and her responsibilities as a wife. The pastor promised to talk to her husband and reminded her that she needs to be forgiving as Christ has forgiven her. She left confused. Her broken heart was once again shattered, first by her husband and then by her shepherd leader.
Many pastors successfully counsel hurting wives with the compassion and skill they desperately need. However, an alarming number of ministers seem ill prepared to deal with the growing number of couples battling pornography in the home. It is estimated that somewhere around 47% of marriages in church pews are struggling with pornography (Family Safe Media, 2003). Because that number is expected to grow as the channels to pornography become more intrusive (think Smartphone, tablet, video consoles), ministers have to prepare themselves for the day when a church member’s spouse shares that she found pornography on her husband’s computer. What will you say? What resources will you give her? Will you be prepared?
Here are a few tips to help get you started.