10 Keys to Victory Over Porn

Be Honest with God and Yourself

Victory over porn begins when you quit lying to yourself and God. You have more than a problem with porn. You can’t stop watching it no matter how many promises you have made to God and yourself.

It is time to be honest with God and yourself. Here is how you do that. Sit down in a quiet place and ask the Spirit of God to help you remember all the sexual things that you have done and/or have been done to you. This is your sexual sin inventory, and it will take courage to do it.  You do not need to go into details. Just make a list of the age you were and what happened.

When you are done, you will feel horrible and shocked at how much there is. But you will be looking at your reality. It cuts through our rationalizing like a hot knife through butter. It is painful but therapeutic. Keep that somewhere safe because you are going to use it later.

Be Honest with Others

This next step to victory over porn is not any easier. You need to find someone who loves you and with whom you can be completely honest. It could be your pastor, a counselor, or a close friend. Tell them you have a list that you need to disclose to them, and confess these sins to another brother in Christ.

Choose a place where the two of you will not be interrupted and you’ll be able to pour this garbage out. As you share this stuff with them, you are letting light into the darkness of your soul. I promise you will feel better afterwards. After talking with them, destroy the list and put it behind you.

Understand the Forgiveness of God

After you have done the inventory and confession, bathe in the forgiveness of God. The reality is that God has already forgiven all your sins. Christ paid for them all on the cross–whether they be in the past, in the present, or in the future.

That is why it says in Hebrews 10:14, “For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are being made holy.” Some will teach that only the sins that you committed before Christ are forgiven by Him and that we must confess our sins to continue to have forgiveness. That is not a true or biblical statement. We can absolutely and completely rejoice that all our sins are forgiven. Yes, we should always confess them and then thank Him that they are already forgiven.

Understand Your Position in Christ

The Bible tells us some amazing things that we could never figure out if God had not revealed them to us in His Word. When you asked Christ to be your Savior, a miracle happened. You went from being spiritually dead in sin to being spiritually alive in Christ. You became a member of God’s family, and Ephesians 2 tells us something amazing.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Now that truth is something we cannot fully grasp, but let me make a simple point from the text. Even though we are here on earth in our physical bodies, there is a true sense that God has raised us up into heaven and seated us with Christ in the heavenly places. That is our position. We were placed there by God. Jesus said no man comes to Him unless the Father draws him and that is what God has done. He has drawn you to Christ, placed you in Christ, and that position can never change.

I pray this against the enemy when I feel his power trying to overwhelm me with discouragement and fear. I am not abandoned by God because of my continued sin, but I am still in Christ by His choice. He is my Father who loves me. He is my Lord who died for me, and He is my Counselor and Comforter who lives in me by the Spirit.

Build a Support Team Around You

As we say in 180, “a lone sheep is a dead sheep.” Our sin remains in the darkness by isolation and hiding and festers like the cancer it is. Every person, and I mean absolutely every person, needs to have a team of two allies who will walk with you daily for at least 90 days to help you get through withdrawal. Then weekly to maintain support.

I will personally help you start a 180 Ministries and give you access to 25 videos of my teachings that will walk you through our program. But I will not give it to you to use by yourself. You have to do it with two other men.

Have Weekly Accountability

James 5:17 is simple and clear, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”

Weekly accountability is the start of recovery. To find a place where you can be completely honest with two of more others is a huge step in the right direction. Our sin has grown in the darkness of isolation and breaking that is critical to healing.

I have written and filmed 25 sessions teaching the 180 Recovery Program and I will make that material available to you if you have at least one other person to meet with weekly and watch the videos and use the workbook. There is a small fee, but these videos will give you great biblical content and lead you through our recovery ministry. Just e-mail me at doyel180@gmail.com.

Have Daily Accountability

Daily accountability is also critical if you want victory over porn. If you have become addicted to porn then understand that like any other kind of addict you will have to go through withdrawal. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, or food, it will take your body about 90 days to adjust to not having the sex your brain is craving. So, connect with two other people and commit to contacting them every day for 90 days, whether by phone, text, or e-mail.

At 180 Ministries, we recommend using GroupMe so that a text to one goes to all and you can have almost immediate support for when you feel tempted. I like to say, “Reach up to God and reach out to others before you reach into your pants!”

Learn How to Be Filled and Walk in the Spirit

The Spirit of God dwells within you if you are a believer in Christ. He can transform and heal you. In order for that to happen, you need to pray daily for the Spirit to fill you and for Him to empower you to not walk in the flesh.

Confess Your Slips and Falls

God tells us to confess our sins. Now since all of our sins have been placed on Jesus on the cross they have all already been forgiven. We do not confess to receive the forgiveness we already have. We confess them to God and to one another because we need to identify that we have fallen to our loving heavenly Father and to our two allies in recovery.

Learn from Your Mistakes

If or when you have a fall, one of two things will happen. Part of you will want to wallow in that sin and act out more than once. You have already fallen so why not make the most of it, is the sick rationalization that takes place.

However, if you will take the time to confess your fall to your accountability team as soon as it happens, then you can begin to analyze why you fell. What were your feelings at the time? What was happening in your life that made you vulnerable? What were the triggers and boundaries you blew through before going over the cliff?

Answer these questions and then set a new boundary to help you next time. This is learning from your mistakes and doing the hard work of recovery.