What is “naked marriage” all about? We sat down with popular podcasters Dave and Ashley Willis to find out, and we learned an important message about God’s design for sex and how porn counterfeits it.
God Designed Marriage to be Naked
“The Naked Marriage” is a provocative name for a podcast! But the reason they chose it is because it’s biblical. Dave and Ashley explained:
“We call it The Naked Marriage because it’s based on the first married couple, Adam and Eve and back in Genesis 2. It talks about how God created them, and they were naked and unashamed, and they were naked physically, but they were also naked, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. They weren’t holding any secrets from each other. They had that vulnerability.”
Since that time, couples have struggled to recapture that level of physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. But that’s what Dave and Ashley’s podcast aims to help people do.
“We know that God created us to have that kind of connection with Him and with each other, that nakedness. The Naked Marriage is really reclaiming that reclaiming God’s design for marriage, where we don’t have secrets from each other, where we are totally naked in every way, because we believe that that’s what God wants us to be with him, obviously, but also as married people. He wants that for husbands and wives.”
Naked Marriage Means Authenticity
This kind of whole-person nakedness really means authenticity. And since Adam and Eve, humans have struggled to live authentically with one another.
“I think everybody desires that I think God puts in our hearts a desire for that kind of vulnerability, and to know and be fully known by someone the way that God knows and fully knows us. But all of us are scared of it, too, because it requires vulnerability, and it requires showing the parts of ourselves that aren’t as attractive not only physically, but when we’re bearing our soul to somebody, and sharing our struggles, our secrets, our past, and our insecurities.”
How many couples long for this kind of authenticity in marriage but struggle to find it? Dave and Ashley emphasize that it’s worth striving for because true intimacy means finding safety with another person.
“Intimacy is a lot more than just sex, even though that that physical intimacy is a great part of it. But it’s so much more than that. I mean it’s being able to just fully feel connected and trusted and safe with someone. And I believe that’s still God’s desire for every marriage.”
When couples live in authentic intimacy, they can truly experience the joy of sex as God intended it: a gift.
“It is a gift intended for marriage, and he is created so much freedom for married couples to enjoy you. We just say you should, you know, paint the word freedom over your headboard, because God, has created so much freedom for married couples. Your marriage bed should be the safest place on earth for you both. Not a place to exploit each other or pressure each other but a place to fully know each other and be known and celebrate that pleasurable gift that God created.”
Porn Counterfeits Naked Marriage
Sadly, many Christian couples don’t experience the pleasurable gift as God intended it. Dave and Ashley explain, “Our culture is kind of giving us a lot of counterfeit messages that are causing us to settle for something far less than that.”
One of these counterfeit messages is porn. Pornography tries to imitate the beauty of a naked marriage—and it fails miserably. That’s because it’s a lie of the Enemy.
“Satan wants to keep us in the dark. He wants us to keep on believing the lie that porn is harmless since we’re not bringing another person in physically. So you know, how are we hurting anybody? And really, you know it’s just something. He wants us to believe all those lies.”
You can hear more, including Dave and Ashley’s own powerful story of how their marriage was saved from porn. Click here to listen to the podcast.