3 minute read

Covenant Eyes Was Made for Friends in the Fight Against Porn

Last Updated: October 15, 2021

Keith Rose
Keith Rose

Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. During that time, he also served as a worship leader, Bible teacher, and pastoral assistant. He's now an educational content creator at Covenant Eyes and the author of Allied: Fighting Porn With Accountability, Faith, and Friends. He lives in Rexford, Montana with his wife Ruby.

When you’re facing a powerful enemy alone, what’s the one thing you want more than anything? You need a friend to come alongside you in the fight. You need someone willing to step into the trenches and help you do battle.  You need an ally. And that’s why Covenant Eyes was made for friends.

Why Lone Rangers Lose

We’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people overcome porn and one thing has become evident: no one can do this alone.  Shame and isolation are powerful forces that can trap even the most determined individual. That’s why trusted friends are so important in the fight against porn. One of our members recently shared this testimony:

I have struggled with this problem for all of my adult life, stemming from a trauma at 11 years of age that led to many repeated bad decisions. I thought I could handle this on my own until a dear friend told me “No you can’t.” He and two others on the same day mentioned Covenant Eyes only a month ago and I downloaded the app. It has made a vast difference knowing that if I slip up, they would be notified.

Studies show a link between trauma and unwanted habits like porn. But just knowing that someone else is watching can make a world of difference in the fight. It takes you from darkness into light. It can change your thinking—even if you’re dealing with deep-rooted trauma!

Ben was trapped by porn. His story was similar to many; he was battling it out on his own, but the temptation proved too great:

Before Covenant Eyes the pattern was always the same for me—I’d make a good confession and try to hold on as long as possible, which was usually only a couple weeks at most, and then it was back to confession and wondering why I couldn’t break free.

Like Ben, many of us like to think we’re strong enough to deal with porn on our own. But this is a lie. Porn taps into feelings of loneliness and isolation, We need friends for this fight—we can only “white-knuckle” it on our own for so long. Lone rangers lose against porn. That’s why Covenant Eyes was made for friends in the battle.

Why Humble Warriors Win

Humble warriors fighters who realize they need allies. Ben learned the power of friendship when he enlisted allies to help him fight porn. It was tough to ask for help, but when he decided to become a humble warrior it changed his life:

I finally realized that I was lacking in the humility to admit that I couldn’t do this alone and that I needed accountability. It took a lot of courage to admit to one of my best friends that I had this problem and thankfully he was very understanding and willing to help. Signing up for Covenant eyes and adding an accountability partner worked wonders. We started discussing what my triggers were and had thoughtful discussions of other practical steps to avoid the situations where I could be triggered. Since that started it’s been nearly 10 months without a setback.

Nobody wants to think they’re helpless, but Ben is just one of many to find freedom when he reached out for help. He shares this wisdom from his experience of asking for help:

My advice for someone trying to break free of porn is to have gratitude, humility, and courage. We need gratitude to be thankful that God is merciful and wants us to be free of sin. Humility is key to admit that we can’t do this alone. We need God’s help and also accountability from a trusted friend. It also takes a lot of courage to admit this problem, especially if it’s something you’ve kept to yourself for a long time. Continuing to pray for gratitude, humility and courage is important on the road to victory.

People like Ben have the courage to admit their failures and ask for help. They receive that help with gratitude and experience a new life of freedom and victory! Covenant Eyes is designed for the allies who come alongside the humble warriors trapped by porn.

How Covenant Eyes Equips Friendships

Covenant Eyes was designed to help allies in the fight. When someone signs up for Screen Accountability and installs our apps, we monitor their devices and detect if porn is viewed. We send accountability reports to allies, so they can help stay on track and offer encouragement when it’s needed. This breaks the cycle of shame and isolation of porn. It brings a secret battle with darkness into the light of truth. It paves the path for freedom.

Covenant Eyes member Steve says:

Covenant Eyes has helped, so has accountability with some trusted caring, and praying guy friends, God, and my praying, compassionate, loving, and forgiving wife. I may never completely be freed from this until Jesus returns, but God is changing me for the better, and daily victories and purity are possible. Thankful for Covenant Eyes.

Another member expresses the benefit he experienced by helping others on their journey. “I’m both a Covenant Eyes user and a Covenant Eyes ally… I appreciate my experience helping a close friend of mine on his freedom journey.”