Note from the editors: If you’re single, you can check out our post, “Strategies for Singles to Keep the Weekends Porn-Free.”
Unlike beer, porn does not need to put commercials up on television or other public media. They already have their audience trained and addicted and know their numbers will continue to climb along with the population of the earth. However, if one were to make a commercial for the vast majority of men and what they want to do over the weekend the tagline would be…
Weekends were made for porn!
The largest porn site in the world keeps statistics on almost everything. They boasted higher numbers of visitors starting Friday after 10:00 pm and Saturday after midnight. The amount of porn being watched increases over the weekend with the highest volume at 11:00 pm Sunday night and the lowest being 5:00 am Monday morning.¹
So, let’s think about why weekends create the most use of porn in the week. Seems simple enough: most people work Monday-Friday and have Saturday and Sunday off. (I know that is not true across the board; however, it makes sense because until Covid-19 kids were in school on weekdays and home on weekends).
Over the weekend you can stay up later and sleep in longer as well. There is no pressure to be to work on time on Saturday and Sunday so you stay up later after your spouse and kids are in bed and you can access porn anywhere and anytime with the Adult Bookstore you carry in your pocket called your smartphone.
But the question we need to be answering is not WHY weekends tend to cause more bingeing, but HOW to stop what has become a regular and even addictive habit.
I lead a recovery ministry called 180 Recover. One of the things we do in 180 is to help men work out a plan that they can implement when they are approaching a time when they know they are going to have more free time on their hands—and more time on the internet.
The success we experience in almost everything in life is to have a plan. If your spouse is away on a trip with the kids or even without the kids, what is your plan to stay away from porn and the devices you use to access porn? Let’s think of the avenues we need to guard to keep porn out of our house, television, computer, laptop, tablet, and from between our ears using fantasy. Here is a 5-step plan to keep you porn-free over the weekend.
1. Make sure there is no porn currently in your home and on any of your devices.
If you have a stash of physical porn that needs to be thrown in a dumpster you will not climb back in to retrieve it. This should have been done years ago but it lingers in your home because you plan to go back to it sometime.
Then make sure you do not have any virtual stashes on any of your devices. Favorite videos or images that you find especially appealing should have been deleted a long time ago and if you leave them available you are not going to progress in your recovery. It is part of the secrecy that keeps you in bondage.
2. Write out your plan.
Think through the schedule for the weekend and identify the times when you will feel most tempted. Plan other things to do during those times and include your friends to participate with you. Write out the following:
- Who is available for getting together? Can you plan something Friday night that is not going to create temptation? Have the guys over to play poker or other games. Watch a series of your favorite movies or television shows.
- Set for yourself an alcohol limit. Avoiding alcohol completely is often best for people in recovery, but some minor intake of one or two drinks might not cause you to go to porn as soon as you get home.
- Set a schedule for when you will go online and stick to it. Shutting all electronics down at 11:00 pm or maybe midnight can help eliminate the hours of surfing for the garbage you know you should not be watching anyway.
- Do not isolate on Saturday or Sunday. Have friends over to watch your favorite sports games. Take yourself and your family to church. Throw some shrimp on the barbie with burgers, brats, and maybe even some steak!
Now once you have created your plan by thinking through all the time you will be facing alone or without your wife write it all down and do three things with it.
3. Give a copy to your wife.
This is critical and will show her that you are making serious efforts to stop old behaviors and create new ones. It is a very good way to begin to rebuild trust. And when she gets home go over the list and tell her the truth of how you did. Even if you blew it and had a fall she will appreciate the fact that you came forward on your own and told her the truth.
4. Give a copy to your accountability team or friends who know of your struggle.
Asking them to get together with you over the weekend and to feel free to call or text you to see how you are doing. Also do a debriefing with them after the weekend has passed.
5. Make a copy for yourself.
Tape it to your bathroom mirror or keep a copy on your phone and review it frequently. Read it over Friday and Saturday night as soon as you get into bed and remind yourself what you are fighting for.
With no plan and the habitual action of looking at porn on the weekend, you can be almost certain you will fall again.
If you knew that someone was going to break into your house over the weekend, you would get prepared. You would make sure the outside lights on the porches are on. You would turn on your home alarm system. You might even have a gun or some other weapon readily accessible! Or if you believe your car is going to be stolen you might make sure the alarm system works, and/or park it in the garage.
Both scenarios require actions that are not too complicated and fairly easy to complete, so you and your property are protected.
Setting up a plan to avoid porn can be that easy too.
¹We avoid linking to this very triggering website!