Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability is a powerful tool for quitting porn, nurturing significant relationships, or simply encouraging and maintaining healthy digital habits.
But how exactly can you use the Covenant Eyes reports for the greatest impact? If you are an accountability Ally, what can you do with the Covenant Eyes reports to help someone quit porn, develop deeper accountability, and stay on track?
Here are three suggestions—the “ABC’s” of using your Screen Accountability reports effectively.
1. Adopt an attitude of curiosity.
I’ve spoken with many Allies, and I often see two opposite attitudes in how they approach the reports. One is highly suspicious—always assuming the worst about every detail of the report. The other is highly trusting—always assuming things are fine, even when there’s concerning activity reported.
Both attitudes can be unhelpful. I was recently talking with my Ally, and I asked whether he’d been looking at my reports.
“Oh yes, I was meaning to talk with you,” he replied. “I guess I just assumed you were okay.”
It turns out, I was okay. But what he said next struck me, “I guess I should be more curious, instead of assuming things are fine because I trust you.”
My Ally and I have a great relationship with a lot of trust on both sides. That’s a wonderful blessing. But he recognized he couldn’t effectively keep me accountable if he always assumed I wasn’t struggling.
Related: How to Be the Best Ally Ever
The word “curiosity” that he used is important. If he went the opposite direction and adopted an attitude of suspicion instead of trust, it would hurt our relationship. However, by setting aside assumptions and simply being curious about my well-being, he is able to ask the right questions to keep me accountable and make sure I’m staying on track.
2. Be discussing the reports regularly (even if everything looks okay).
I’ve found, both as someone seeking accountability, and as an Ally for others, approaching the subject of struggling with porn or lust is usually the most difficult part—often harder than the actual discussion! Telling someone you’re struggling can be hard, even if you’ve admitted it in the past. For allies, it can be just as uncomfortable to ask about someone else’s struggles.
However, effective accountability means regularly having these discussions.
Make sure you have a regularly scheduled accountability meeting, whether by phone or in person. Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability reports provide a great avenue for these discussions. Even if you or your Ally are experiencing victory over porn, to the point where it’s not much of a temptation, the reports should be a steppingstone to conversations about temptation and purity in general.
Perhaps the struggle shifts from explicit porn to unhelpful images on social media, or even wasting too much time online. You can use the “Device Activity” section of the report to talk about the use of technology, and how to spur one another on to greater purity.
Related: Screen Accountability Report Basics
Perhaps it even goes past what’s on your screen to the images you see around you or the thoughts that come into your mind. The Covenant Eyes reports are still a great place to start.
With my accountability Allies, I’ve found that after moving past the struggle with porn itself, the door is opened to greater exhortation, more transparency, and deeper accountability.
3. Click “reply” for immediate follow-up.
Accountability relationships work best when you can connect with your Allies in person. However, that’s not always feasible. Most of us aren’t in a position to drop everything and meet up for coffee the minute we see a concerning image flagged in a report.
A simple but helpful feature of the Covenant Eyes Accountability reports is that you can simply click “reply” to send a quick check-in email to your Ally. It only takes a few seconds, but it can be a tremendous encouragement to one who is struggling.
It can also help break the ice for later accountability discussions. If you see a concerning image, you can express your concern, ask if everything is all right, or even use this to schedule an in-person meeting if you don’t already have a regular time established.
The important thing is, you’re keeping the lines of communication open. You’re utilizing the available technology to build a bridge to a more meaningful in-person relationship.
These are the “ABC’s” of how you can use your Covenant Eyes reports to do this more effectively. How do you maintain effective accountability relationships? What have you found to be most helpful? Leave us a comment or send a message. We’d love to hear from you.
