Porn: All Bad, All the Time

Growing up, I never once looked at porn. I didn’t even “stumble” across it, even to this very day at 24 years old. So, you’re probably wondering why I, a woman who has never once seen porn, am writing about that very thing.

It took me awhile to understand pornography addiction. I simply didn’t understand the attraction of pornography. As a Christian, I didn’t understand how anyone would want to give their life over to an addiction that was so overpowering. I just didn’t get it. How could anyone (male or female) find it satisfying to binge-watch porn for hours on end?

Then I started working for Covenant Eyes. See, I grew up with every device in our home protected by Covenant Eyes’ Accountability Software, so I was protected from a very young age. To some degree, this sheltered me from the dangers of the internet, and I wasn’t truly aware of just how damaging porn is until I began my job with the very company that has protected me online for over 15 years.

In the little more than a year that I have worked for Covenant Eyes, countless stories from users have opened my eyes to just how important the battle against porn is. I have read blog comments filled with heartbreak, stories of recovery, and questions filled with hopelessness. And yet, I still hear daily from people who just refuse to believe that pornography is even a problem. People who just don’t understand how sexual acting on a screen can cause sometimes irreparable damage to marriages, careers, and families.

So today, I want to give you a sobering glimpse into reality. I want to share with you the reason behind why we at Covenant Eyes do what we do. I want to share with you four stories and comments that helped me to finally understand the devastation and reality of pornography addiction. Without ever even struggling with pornography addiction, I am more convinced than ever that porn is all bad, all the time.

Do I hope that I’ll convince you of the same? You betcha.

Porn isn’t just a “guy problem.”

“For me, all of this started a few years ago. With a boyfriend who was into it. I slowly found myself watching alone. Always so convicted and disgusted after, but I just couldn’t shake it. Last year I found myself intrigued with a girl I met. I wasn’t sexually attracted to her, but something about her would make me think of the lesbian porn videos. I cut off all contact with her, then later found out she was a lesbian. This was scary because it made me start to question my sexuality, even though I have never been attracted to women. I since have been working hard to be free of this. It’s just heart breaking to go so long… months without watching or even thinking of it…then just randomly fall. I just want to be free of this.”

Did you know that porn affects both men and women? I didn’t. I assumed porn was just a “guy issue.” And then I read stories like the one above. A woman who was exposed to porn through her boyfriend, which led to a secret addiction and questions about her own sexuality. A woman who so badly wants to be free, but kept falling back into temptation.

Porn’s grip is real and strong, and its impact on our life goes far and beyond what we every thought possible.

Porn addiction induces shame.

“I feel this loneliness inside me. I gave my life to Christ and became committed. I hated porn because I was a victim of it. Few months passed, I thought I had [a] breakthrough, but here I am still eating from my vomit; I want my Jesus back… I can’t even pray. I feel so guilty. Please what can I do to stop this completely.”

When I read a comment like this, I am reminded that even I, a firm believer in Christ, am not immune to the temptation of porn. This man expresses his love for the Lord and his hatred for porn, but he still struggles. He feels shame and guilt from his sin, but he cannot pull himself free from the addiction.

Before I fully understood the gravity of porn addiction, I just assumed that those who watched porn loved it and felt no shame. I thought, “if they can’t stop watching it, then they must not feel that guilty.” Oh, how wrong I was. Just like many other addictions, pornography has a direct impact on the brain. It literally rewires your brain so that you can’t help but keep going back for more, no matter how badly you want to stop.

Porn has lasting impacts on children.

“I was sexually molested when I was little, since then I’ve been addicted to watching porn, now am 26.  Although I pray against it when I go to church and even at home. But some times the urge keeps coming back… please what can I do to stop it permanently?”

“Hi, I really do want to tell my parents about my addiction but I’m really terrified and I’ve prayed to God to help overcome this temptation but it always fails and I think it’s because I need to confess to my parents but I’m just scared of what they’ll say and what they’ll think of me when I tell them or if they’ll start going into conclusions about stuff I do on the daily and judge me about like I just don’t wanna disappoint them so I’m scared and today is the day I cried and realized that I’m actually really terrified to tell them can you help me please?”

Before reading stories like this, I could not even fathom the idea that pornography and sexual sin affect children. I would never in a million years have believed that sexual abuse as a child could turn into a pornography addiction when older. You would have had a hard time convincing me that children and teenagers could become so addicted at such a young age.

Related Post: Porn Is Causing Young Children to Abuse Each Other

Now, I am no longer shocked when I read stories like the ones above. Teenagers afraid to confess to their parents. Young men and women addicted to porn because of sexual abuse they endured when young. It’s heartbreaking, but I believe that if each and every person could read these stories, maybe then porn would disappear for good.

Porn can ruin your entire life.

“I feel no intimacy, so no connection. Nothing he ever does or says is meaningful or special, at the end of the day I am with a man who prefers porn over me. Porn won and I lost, we no longer have a relationship. No amount of prayers and therapies can heal our relationship or bring back what’s lost forever. Over 20 years together, spent 10 years fighting over it, so many times got lost over this, now everything is just too late…”

I don’t know how anyone can read this story, look me in the eyes, and still say that porn is harmless. Here, we read of a broken marriage—a 20-year relationship being torn apart. It’s scary, isn’t it? Porn will tear you apart. Porn will destroy you. Porn leads to death. So many people have tried to persuade me otherwise. Porn feels good, they say. Porn can increase intimacy, they claim. Porn will not actually rewire your brain, they argue.

They’re wrong. The stories I read are real. The pain is devastating.

Porn addiction is real.

Porn is all bad. 

All the time.

I now believe these statements with my entire being. But, I also believe that there is a bit of good news amidst these stories and statistics. Porn is all bad, yes, but in the darkness we can find light through recovery. Overcoming addiction is possible. Giving up porn for good is achievable, so if you’re reading these words and feeling hopeless in the fight, stand strong! You are not hopeless. You can overcome porn.

I get to work each and every day to fight against porn and help bring healing to people like those in the stories above. I’m sure more than ever that porn addiction exists and destroys, and I will continue to share this mission and message with the world.

Will you?