Protect Your Kids A close up shot of the feet of a dad standing with his child outdoors.
Protect Your Kids 4 minute read

It’s Time to Take the Dad Challenge

Last Updated: June 7, 2023

There are always things we need to improve on as parents, but before I get to that I want to talk about what we’re doing right. Parents are doing a lot of things right these days, something we may not hear a lot. Fathers in particular have improved in their parenting skills in the last 50 years, and this is something to celebrate.

Dads Are Giving More Time

Before we talk about what needs improvement, it is only fair to point out how much modern fathers are doing right. Dads spend way more time with their kids than they used to, taking time out with individual children even from the time a child is born. It is a very common sight in my neighborhood to see a young father pushing a baby or toddler in a stroller, no wife in sight. When I was a kid, I never saw a father pushing a baby stroller, alone or with his wife.

Both parents give more time to their children than in recent generations, but while mothers have approximately doubled the amount of time they spend with children in the last 50 years, fathers have nearly quadrupled the amount of time they spend with their own kids.¹ Mothers still spend more time with their kids than dads, but dads would win the prize for “most improved.”

Dads Are Giving More Depth

Fathers are also willing to be much more open with their children than our own fathers or grandfathers were. Fathers are much more likely today to talk about their feelings with their children and ask their children about their feelings. Dads admit failure in front of their kids. Dads talk with their kids about all kinds of things that most dads in the past would never be open about. Except one thing, which is the problem I’m addressing today.

What Scares Dads

My son and I wrote a book called Father-Son Accountability several years ago. I bring it to any conference I attend to sell in a booth. When I go to a men’s conference, even one specifically focused on sexual integrity, I sell very few. When I go to a women’s conference, I sell five times as many books, and the book is not for women. When I go to a couples conference, nearly 100% of sales are when a couple visits my booth and the wife buys the books, hands it to her husband, and says, “You’re doing this with our son.”

What’s going on here? Why are the same men who are taking babies on a stroll and talking to their kids about emotions afraid to talk about sex and sexuality with them?

I used to think it was because the men must have their own issues related to sexual integrity and they feared being exposed. I have discovered that this is not usually the reason men back away. Instead, men tell me they are afraid to talk to their kids about sexual issues because no one ever taught them as a child. They don’t know what to say because no one ever taught them. This is understandable, but it doesn’t excuse us men from our responsibilities to prepare and protect our children.

The Dad Challenge

We’ve come a long way in 50 years, and that is great. But it’s time to take the next step as men and prepare our children as God intends for us to do. I know we may not have been trained and have few examples to follow, but that doesn’t excuse us from trying.

I’ve noticed that once men get started, they find it’s not as hard as they imagined talking to their kids about sexuality. Here are a few helpful tips to get started.

  • Pick a time when you will start talking with each child and stick to your plan.
  • Consider starting the first conversation with, “No one ever taught me any of this as a kid, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing. I’ll just do the best I can.” Kids seem to appreciate such honesty anyway.
  • Use a book or video to get started rather than winging it on your own. There plenty of resources and more are being created every day to help parents address issues related to sexuality.
  • When just talking with your children about sex or sexual issues, try talking in the car. That does not require eye contact and makes it a little more comfortable for everyone.
  • Don’t try to cover everything at once. Take on one small subject at a time. This should not be a one-time conversation but a series of many conversation throughout childhood.
  • Don’t parent alone. Ask other parents what they do, compare notes, and try out their good ideas.

Let’s work together as men to inspire each other to be the fathers God wants us to be. We can do this.

For a list of parenting resources from Pure Community, visit our Parent Resource page.


¹Educational Gradients in Parents’ Child-Care Time Across the Country. Journal of Marriage and Family, April 19, 2016.

Comments on: It’s Time to Take the Dad Challenge

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Protect Your Kids

Editor's Picks

Female student writing a scholarship essay.

Protect Your Kids

5 Eye-Opening Revelations From 850 Scholarship Essays

Each year, Covenant Eyes holds a scholarship contest for current members who…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Silhouette of a man walking through a tunnel.

Protect Your Kids

The Sound of Freedom and the Problem of Pornography

The Covenant Eyes Podcast recently sat down with Operation Underground Railroad founder,…

2 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A group of three young computer programmers working on laptops.

Protect Your Kids

Porn and Artificial Intelligence

When Chat GPT launched in November 2022, artificial intelligence took the world…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Parents with their teenage son.

Protect Your Kids

Why Parents Must Talk About Sex

When my son was sixteen, he attended a youth group meeting during…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Parents with their teenage son looking at a tablet.

Protect Your Kids

CONNECTED: A Timely Family Resource for the Pandemic and Beyond

With our homes now serving as our offices, schoolroom, and intergenerational living…

7 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A high school student looking at his phone during class.

Protect Your Kids

Porn in High School: 6 Reasons It’s a Serious Problem

Sadly, most high school students will encounter porn before they graduate. While…

8 minute read

Read Post

Related in Protect Your Kids

Female student writing a scholarship essay.

Protect Your Kids

5 Eye-Opening Revelations From 850 Scholarship Essays

Each year, Covenant Eyes holds a scholarship contest for current members who…

Each year, Covenant Eyes holds a scholarship contest for current members who are enrolled as full-time students. This year, we had over 850 applicants! These amazing students answered questions about integrity using today’s technology, their…

4 minute read

0 comments

Silhouette of a man walking through a tunnel.

Protect Your Kids

The Sound of Freedom and the Problem of Pornography

The Covenant Eyes Podcast recently sat down with Operation Underground Railroad founder,…

The Covenant Eyes Podcast recently sat down with Operation Underground Railroad founder, Tim Ballard. Tim’s story has been dramatized in the new blockbuster movie, The Sound of Freedom. In our conversation with Tim, we learned…

2 minute read

0 comments

A group of three young computer programmers working on laptops.

Protect Your Kids

Porn and Artificial Intelligence

When Chat GPT launched in November 2022, artificial intelligence took the world…

When Chat GPT launched in November 2022, artificial intelligence took the world by storm. And with good reason—the wide array of AI tools now available to the public offer truly breathtaking capabilities. At Covenant Eyes,…

4 minute read

0 comments

Parents with their teenage son.

Protect Your Kids

Why Parents Must Talk About Sex

When my son was sixteen, he attended a youth group meeting during…

When my son was sixteen, he attended a youth group meeting during which the male leader spoke with the guys about pornography and enumerated the ramifications porn could have on marriages and families. He learned…

5 minute read

0 comments

Parents with their teenage son looking at a tablet.

Protect Your Kids

CONNECTED: A Timely Family Resource for the Pandemic and Beyond

With our homes now serving as our offices, schoolroom, and intergenerational living…

With our homes now serving as our offices, schoolroom, and intergenerational living spaces, the need to establish bonded familial relationships is more critical than ever. The past year has introduced new vocabulary words such as…

7 minute read

0 comments

A high school student looking at his phone during class.

Protect Your Kids

Porn in High School: 6 Reasons It’s a Serious Problem

Sadly, most high school students will encounter porn before they graduate. While…

Sadly, most high school students will encounter porn before they graduate. While passing around sexy pictures in school is nothing new, the ubiquity of today’s porn—and its intensely graphic nature—is unique. If you pay attention…

8 minute read

0 comments