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Sex Can’t Fix You

Last Updated: July 29, 2021

Luke Gilkerson
Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Your Brain on Porn and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Why thousands of porn-crazed Christian men will have miserable marriages

Life coach Tony Litster has some wise things to say in a brief clip from the documentary-in-the-making, Shamed.

In the context of the church, true spiritual leaders are key to breaking the power of pornography in the lives of young men and women.

The Need for Good Discipleship

The Apostle Paul puts his finger on this need in Galatians 6:1-2.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Many young men (and women) today can be described as being “caught” in sin. They are ensnared. What is Paul’s solution? Spiritual men and women restoring them.

The term “restore” (katartizo), was originally a medical term for setting a broken bone.  Similarly, spiritual restoration is when someone comes alongside us and resets our fractured lives, setting our broken thoughts and beliefs back in place.

Who are these spiritual surgeons? The “spiritual.” In the context of Paul’s whole letter, this means people who are walking in the Spirit (5:25), who have the fruit of Christlike character (5:22-23), and who are eagerly anticipating and longing for the Day of Christ, when all traces of sin will be eliminated (5:5).

“Spiritual” mentors are so effective because they know what their flesh is capable of (5:19-21), so they are not daunted by another’s sin. As men and women who keep in step with the Spirit, they have already witnessed in their own hearts how the Holy Spirit quenches the power of sin through new and holy passions (5:16).

Who Will Step Up?

I can remember vividly the day a man in my old church took me under his wing. After confessing my porn addiction to him, he offered to pray for me. I said, quite obtusely, “I’ve had a lot of people pray for me over the years. What’s going to be different this time?”

He looked at me with compassion in his eyes, and without flinching, he said, “Because the difference is, after I’m done praying, I’m not going to leave you. I know you don’t believe God can change your heart, but I do. And until you are ready to believe it, I’m going to believe it for you.”

And he did.

  • Comments on: Sex Can’t Fix You
    1. David

      It’s strange how timely this article is for me – I pray God would bless me with a godly man who can ‘believe it for me’…

      • The hour has never been greater for men to step up and help other men.

    2. Shirley Johnson

      Thank you for being there for me. My husband at 96 is addicted. It has ruined our marriage, my respect for him and taken the joy from my life. I keep praying and hoping that God will touch his heart before HE calls him home and that I will see him change but I’m fast losing hope.

      • It is terrible how this addiction can grab someone for decades of their lives. Our prayers are with you and your husband. Has he looked for help for this?

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