About the author, John Doyel

After 26 years in full time ministry, John Doyel resigned his position as Senior Pastor in 2005 because of his sexual brokenness. For the past 10 years he has dedicated himself to helping men recover from sexual sin and return to God. He leads a recovery ministry at Vineyard Columbus called 180 Recover. He also writes daily emails of encouragement to help believers recover from porn or sex addiction, which you can sign up for on his website or by emailing doyel@me.com.

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Your Brain on Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Watching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change people's sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.

155 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Stop Watching Porn? 3 Reasons It’s Hard to Quit

  1. men who struggle with porn and ask to be healed need to also use their brains on how to rid it from their lives. remove computers, smartphones and all access to internet. do not go into gas stations that sell porn magazines. there’s options. and as you do this pray also for strength. porn has lead my husband to leave me twice. And even though I know in my heart he still does it, there’s nothing i can do. it dosnt matter how pretty or thin I get…he needs to choose.

    • Please pray for me as well. Contrary to what many people think, pornography addiction is also among women. I am an 18 year old female and I was exposed to pornography in the 5th grade. It was just a pop up but I made the mistake of continuing to watch. I’ll never forget. It was gutter.com. I am currently embarking on my first year of college and for the past year or two, I’ve been trying so hard to stop. I haven’t watched for a few months. At first it was so hard to stop because I would do it everyday for years. But I realized in my junior year of high school that I should stop. I didn’t even know that pornography was a sin! I literally just found out in July of this year. That really made me want to stop completely but it has been so hard and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been good for awhile but I’ve been going through hard times and depression so I just want to use it as a tool to help me or as an escape but I do not want to. I’ve been praying to god and I have always gone to church and I feel like how can I sit here praying to god and asking him to remove my pain and to restore my life to the happiness I used to have yet still have thoughts on watching porn? Last night I was feeling so horrible, I wanted to open up my computer and watch but I just forced myself to go to sleep and it has been so hard. Today I feel as if the urge is getting stronger and I just need help, guidance, and prayer to get through this because it’s so hard.

    • dont judge him we all have sined we dont like it either i am just 14 trying to recover i was a sttraight a student before porn

    • Hello, Salvador – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Reaching out here was a great step. Covenant Eyes has great information and software, but if you don’t have someone you can talk to (Accountability), then can I recommend a forum like nofap.com? There are 1,000s of men who will understand your situation, no matter what it is.

      Warmly,
      Chris

    • You people are fanatical idiots. Porn watching is merely an effect of unsatisfied high libido. Clinical tests prove that a man has the need to ejaculate every 72 hours or so, and he does what he must to accomplish that average. It’s simple biology, not the Devil,. You people need to grow up and address the problems caused by your puritanical view of sex. Sex is not dirty, it is biologically necessary. If your man (or you) have too much porn in your lives, you just need to get or be a better sexual partner.
      I believe in God, but I am sure he cares more about what is in your heart than how often you take off your pants.

    • I am a woman who is Catholic Christian.
      It has been like 4 days since I have looked at that filth ( as with me that and masturbation are linked).I want FULL COMPLETE DELIVERANCE from this n maybe a woman there can help me 4 free.

    • i dont even know what i gain from watching pornography.Its not nice,just a little fantasy,a virtual one for that matter.I need self control and wisdom on how to deal with this.Thanks for your article

    • I first watched porn at 12 or thirteen. It became a downward spiral day after day, year after year. Its one of the main reasons for my depression and suicide attempts. Its insane how difficult it is and how effect my life. I cant sleep until i masturbate some times. Its not as bad as it used to be but i still have a really hard time going two day without watching porn. The guilt and shame is destroying me because i know women should not be treated as objects like this. Pornography is a huge problem and needs to be dealt with but most people brush it off as if its nothing. Are society has been and always will be shaken to its core. The biggest thing to move past this addiction is to get help. Its nearly impossible to fight this on your own.

    • I feel guilty of watching and fornicating and even though I whole heartedly want to quit. For me it’s always been hidden up until recently the last 5 years I’ve met more people confessing they watch it to as a way to relieve themselves. Didn’t make me feel any better but didn’t make me feel like I was committing a sin, that was up until I would act inappropriately with myself and be so ashamed and everyday carrying that burden is hard. I never thought I would be so addicted to the sensation “the drug” that it became an everyday thing. I love the Lord and there are many devices in the world that can lead us to destruction and even though I’m still struggling and believing God that He will vindicate me from watching filthy porn, I must remember this too, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me”, and that The Lord will not put on more than what you can bare. I’m thankful for this forum, I needed this. Porn is a disgusting habit and I can and see myself being delivered from sinful thoughts of fornication and defiling this vessel. I thank God for my brothers and sisters keeping the faith and making it through these challenging times. We will get through it guys. Much love ✌

    • I Totally agree it’s either you or porn if he can’t choose, tell him to go. To many men are breaking women’s hearts by doing these disgusting acts with porn stars who are the hooks that baited them in salving and wrecking there lives.
      It’s men weak wills I’ve no sympathy for them let them drown in the shit where they are trapped they seem to enjoy it better than you.

    • I completely understand you’ll be surprised how many women including myself have watched it for years. I’ve never spoke out about it because I was too ashamed and felt disgusting low and dirty. Today I realized I must confess with my mouth my sins. The enemy will try harder and harder each time and I can hear him whisper to me to do it. I need to fast and ask God to forgive me and to shut down all internet access. I am struggling hard but I will not be defeated. This is my first step in changing my life for the better. I ask that you’ll pray for me and all others dealing with the same huge issue. Thank you. Lord I confess my sins that I have watched lesbian and regular porn for years I’m tired of being a prisoner with no one to talk to about this issue and I’m tired of letting you down. I will from this day forward do my best to try harder and harder to not watch and to fill my time with positive activities. Lord forgive me, in Jesus name AMEN

    • To be completely honest, porn is no better or worse than emotional eating disorders, alcoholism, drug addiction, excessive laziness or any other extreme behavioral or substance abuse disorder people resort to when dealing with anxiety, depression and that empty emotional void we all have. God doesn’t say that quitting porn is a requirement to be his child and to enter heaven. God also doesn’t sit around sensationalizing certain sins over other sins with a scorecard like we humans often do. Even if you’re a pastor struggling with a porn addiction and it finally comes out, it’s not like you’re any more of a sinner just because everyone else knows about it now. Who are these holier than thou people who are supposed to be our family members and church body to stand up and judge or sensationalize the addiction like they’re sins, addictions and problems are far less severe. I have been a Christian since 1979 and porn has been an off and on activity since I was first exposed to it in 1984 as a 13 year old. I owned mags and videos for nearly 20 years as an adult and occasionally viewed them. I don’t own it anymore because I grew up and threw it away. I occasionally look at internet porn and masturbate. It sometimes seems like a ridiculous thing to do. The release is relaxing and provides a little chemical feel good for a while. This is the same feel good sensation I had when I naturally started masturbating at 12 years old before I ever saw porn, which leads me to believe that masturbation is normal for most people… to explore their bodies and sexuality… It’s a personal and normal experience. If a Christian is excessive and has a tendency to feed addictions to the point they can’t control porn viewing and masturbation, and it’s obvious that the person’s life, safety or health is at risk, then the person should simply find help to work through it and understand that it doesn’t mean their salvation is at risk or that God doesn’t love them… it’s just like anything else we go get help for. Perhaps churches needed to stop judging so strongly so people won’t isolate. I lead in my church and nothing that could come out would be that much of a shock. Why did people think you were some sort of perfect Christian on a pedestal in the first place just because you were a pastor… Perhaps idolatry and exalting humans needs to stop. I know it’s shocking to prideful, hateful Christians that a person addicted to porn can be highly successful at home and work, love like no other and still pray and stay connected with Jesus while committing no crime but oh his poor spouse and family… how betrayed they must feel. Imagine the pain the person is suffering. I’m being sarcastic because in my experience, most Christians are legalistic, judgmental and dishonest. They have no clue what true spiritual obedience and discipline are in their personal lives and they can’t even describe what grace looks like when others fall short.

    • I know I am doing bad things lord.
      Please,please forgive me
      I know I am selfish
      I know I cannot stop bad things
      But please give me a chance to say sorry
      I have been asking your forgiveness for a lot of times saying please forgive me
      Lord our mighty God,please forgive me just 1 more time.
      Lord I believe you have sent Jesus Christ to die before us.
      Lord, please forgive me for doing bad things
      I admit I am a sinner.

  2. My husband has been having affairs and lying and deceiving me our whole marriage. I knew in my gut he was cheating. I couldn’t prove it. He had a way of provoking arguments in front of my sons and It always looked like it was my fault. When I found my husbands phone I saw what was going on. He is a voyuer. He likes pictures of women. He was paying them to send their pictures. I got a counselors name from a christian org. and when I talked with them again and told them he was only counseling my husband not me they said don’t go back. Since then he won’t go to any counseling. He blames me for his not wanting to go back. Everything he does he becomes addicted. He gambles, he drinks, he lies, I think he’s on something not sure what but I’m pretty sure. Our adult sons were embarrassed and upset . They don’t have much to do with him. I tried to tell them something was wrong. When they found out about the phone and everything they couldn’t believe it. At one time I asked them if their dad had a phone . They were working with him I thought they would see. He was so sneaky he would be texting and talking to these women right beside our sons and they didn’t even know.He doesn’t go to church now and won’t go. He does not know Jesus. He just left to go to a job in texas he’s in construction. The last woman he was involved with is there. Im sure he will contact her he had me get all of my things out of our camper. Please pray for dan and me Thank you

    • I have been watching open a veryong time and now it hurts me I am Christian. Please pray for me I really want to stop, I do good then Satan works my brain. I love Jesus with everything in me. Please pray, my girlfriend of 25 years died from M S And I am taking care of her Special needs son who I love. It is hard and I want to stop.

    • Girl, if you don’t leave him! What good is that guy. He doesn’t care. He rather feed his sexual desires than his family. So what you do is leave. And start a new life. Maybe when he sees you got up and left it’ll change his mind. And that may not work or it might. But most importantly you’ll be out that toxic relationship. You’ll be free. And he might change. But please don’t stay there suffering for him. I see your pain and your tenacity. But sister! You gotta let God take control. You HAVE GOT TO get your mind Ready. Heart breaks hurt. But what’s even better is when God heals it.

    • I really appreciate what you said here: leaving a toxic relationship may or may not change the other person, but it means peace and freedom for the victim. This is so, so important! Our boundaries are for our own health and safety, first and foremost. We are the precious, beloved children of God, not required to live under slavery to sin, including the sin of a spouse.

      And so many times we are unwilling to have healthy boundaries because we’re trying to control the other person, rather than trusting God to care for us no matter what.

      Thanks for pointing this out!

    • Unfortunately gulagg defines the deceitfulness of sin to a tee and refutes every psychologist, doctor, clergy and neuro surgeon in the world!

  3. Great article.Thanx so much.15 days free and not going back.I never thought of this addiction in this way.The article,blog,essay,whatever it might be called hit the nail on the head.Satan does use the porn exactly the way described.Shame,disgust,guilt are all the things a Christian feels after the stuff is viewed because it does not smell on your breath or cause an unsteady walk or glassy eyes.We feel like we have let ourselves,our loved ones,our wives and most important our Lord down.Thanx for this uplifting yet hard hitting message.I really believe i did not stumble upon this site by accident.Praise God that He answered my prayers and used your ministry to do it.

    • I too watch porn but by God i have been able to control it eeven in the midst of the confusion

      1. delete any porn videos immediately after watching
      2. Try to read your bible at least one chapter a day with such focus llke its porn to you
      3. Go to hurch to hear God’s word its like a drug for the sickness if it hasnt healed it yet it helps you control it.
      4. Get into a relationship with someone that can help like talks to you often about things that distract your mind from porn
      5. Try to know God’s Holy Spirit
      6. Allow the pain of regret to take full hold after each porn circle
      7. Just create your own pictures if you still go on to watch it
      8. Try to get a passion different and deep as the when you are watching porn like singing playing football , travelling, etc whatever any other thing you like
      9, Go into self meditation saying yourself
      I am not and will never be a porn adict
      10. Spend time with spouse family and friends
      11. Know that if any body can stop it since the history of mankind you can too
      12 . Know that I Love you
      13. Eacch time you pray about it or somethig God is always (i repeat(always)) listening to you to .He is desperate to do that even if it means him canceling his own personal appointments. In God’s picture you always come first , just the same way a child is to his/her mother

  4. great article, there is hope for all who want to be free but it wont come from a wave of a magic wand, discipline, mindfulness, accountability and God.

    i have found great accountability in a local celebrate recovery chapter.

    • the world has turned their focused to women’s rights and upliftment… we need the kind of encoragement and prayers with support, as we read this amazing article, we must share about it and encourage more men in our society. thank you

  5. I am Thomas Kelly, I’m a Christian but struggled with porn for years. I want to stop and live a life for Jesus, but keep falling into this temptation. I prayed to God and ask Him to take this sexual desire out of my heart and give me new desires to do His will. I’m starting to think God doesn’t hear me, so I walk through life and have this urge of pain in my heart. Now I see darkness all around me and in my mind I think my life is hopeless, I have suicidal thoughts and wishing if I commit suicide all of my pain will go away. I also written in my journal every time I lay in my bed all I can think about is the wrong choices, I have made. I don’t feel like living no more and one day someone read my journal and know the pain that is in my heart.

    My three desires:
    1 Live my life for Jesus
    2 Have a impact in this world for Jesus
    3 To Do His Will and reach millions of lives

    • Hello, Thomas – I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255.

      God is for you! Thomas, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you. The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this. I didn’t see you mention anything about accountability. You won’t be able to overcome this without it. Everyone tries, but victory only comes with Christ and community.

      Peace, Chris

    • Chris, my name is Nate Danser and I work for Pure Life Ministries. I just wanted to let you know that THERE IS HOPE for you. Our ministry was created to help men like you who are at the end of their rope. We have a Residential Program in Kentucky that is full of men (75 of them!) who are desperately seeking God for victory over this. If you want to live your life for Jesus, to have an impact in this world for him and do His will, PLEASE check us out.

      Jesus Christ came to destroy the works of the devil in our lives, and He is still powerful enough to do the same thing for you! http://www.purelifeministries.org/residential will give you a lot of information.

      Also, we have an Annual Conference coming up in Florence, KY on April 28th and 29th. We would LOVE to see you there, get to know you, and figure out how best we could help you. conference.purelifeministries.org

      I will put in a prayer request for you, and you will be prayed for during our weekly student prayer meeting.

      God bless.

    • Thomas, Peace be with you! I experienced great sorrow for years because I could not shake sinfulness from my life in the realm of human sexuality. Sexuality goes so deep, even down to our being made male and female and each soul has its own unique impacts because of our sex. Keep up the hope and dust yourself off every time you fall. Your life is not lost and it is not hopeless: don’t give in to these dark thoughts. Know that you cannot always control the temptations from without, but with prayer and acknowledgment of your Sonship, that these ideas of suicide and hopelessness become lies used to take you from your eternal destiny, which is Joy in Christ.
      Recently, I lost a wonderful person in my life that I love deeply because of pornography and masturbation. As I thought about marrying this beautiful woman I knew I had to finally stop this behavior if I wanted to be fully available to her in my being. She found out before I could muster up the strength to tell her of my addictions. Losing her was the impetus to quit, though, I know she will never be sufficient for me: all of us, even the most happy person, ultimately longs for the Triune God and will be in a very real way experience this existential loneliness this side of heaven. Be of good cheer: we know that Jesus alone can fill that ache in all of us, and He will never depart from us. Jesus loves you: I’d suggest you take up your journaling and really try to see where your hurting is coming from, find someone local to talk to about it, and up your dosage of devotion to Mary, Joseph, and the Eucharist. Pax!

    • Don’t give up your not alone. Sucide is not a way out you will still have to answer for that ultimate chose too. I too have had those same thoughts. It’s the people who are left behind that truly suffer. Suscide in my opinion is selfish. There are alternatives I hope and pray you do reconsider. I have and my life has been much better since I made that chose! Hang in there their are people out there to help you Cary your load! I will pray for you that you will find that help!

    • What’s the lords will though mabey he doesn’t need you want to reach millions that’s not humble were Kent to keep out of view from the world millions would be considered the world mabey gods plan is for you to reach 1 person through your entire life

    • Hello Thomas I Know how you feel. Please don’t give up. My ex-husband started me to watch porn. He wanted me to be more into it. I have stop for months and then it will come back. But I am believing God that I will be porn free.

    • Thomas,
      I to was stuck for a long time in porn addiction; for close to 15 years. For years I prayed for God to take away my desires for this sin but I couldn’t stop. I knew if I wanted to grow in Godly maturity and become the man God called me to be I needed to stop. The scripture that convicted me was Ezekiel 8 where God shows Ezekiel how the priests of Israel where keeping idols in their hidden preistly chambers for secret worship. I finally told my wife of whom I have been married to for 8 years my struggles. I expected her to be upset, hurt, angry but she wasn’t. She felt sorry for me that I had struggled for so long. I confessed that I sinned against her and the Lord and she forgave me I I know the Lord forgave me (1John 1:9). She prayed with me and became my accountability partner. I have never felt the love of God more richly than in that moment. What became clear to me was that I lacked faith. I was quenching the Spirit by making flesh choices instead of faith choices. The faith in Christ my wife had allowed Him to love me through her. My road to recovery has not been without failures along the way but by the grace of God and the love he shows me through His forgiveness and the freedom from the power of sin(Rom6:7) I am able to win this battle daily. I have been able to go without porn for a whole year. There is hope. The greatest lies are the ones we tell ourselves and they come from the enemy who is Satan. The lie I bought into was that I was worthless. This is a lie. Scripture tells us over and over that we are loved by God so much that he was willing to die and pay the penalty of sin on our behalf so that we can be reconciled to Him ( Colossians 2:13-14, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 1) . You are important and you have a purpose. God’s plan of redemption is on every page of the Bible.

      I would like to encourage you to do 2 things: read your Bible and pray everyday. This 2 things are simple but effective. They also provide a starting point. Doing this constantly and diligently WILL change your life. We cannot grow and become mature believers without this. We cannot we live for Christ, produce good fruit, and win souls if we do not know his word. No preacher or teacher can have faith for us, every man must have his own faith. Ephesians 6 reminds us that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. We must use our weapons to deal with enemy attacks; our sword is the word of God and prayer is our heavy artillery. I find the times when I am most tempted to look at porn (walk in the flesh in general) are times when I have neglected prayer and reading God’s word.

      2 resources that have been blessings for me have been Nancy Misslers books “The way of Agape” and ”Be Ye transformed” you can find them on Amazon or there is audio on firefighters.org I think. YouTube also has video of her presentations. Also Chuck Missler Bible studies (also on YouTube) are amazing. He goes through the Bible book by book and verse by verse simply teaching the Bible.

      I will pray for you Thomas, as a brother in the Lord I have your back. Please know that God loves you not because I posted on this website but because His word says so. We are freed from the power of sin Rom6:7. Renew your mind daily (Romans 12:1-2) through prayer and the word. There is hope because you were purchased at a high price by Christ on the cross. I would encourage you to talk to a mature believer. These issues are ok to talk about James 5:16 says to confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. If you can’t find anyone to talk to you can email me if you like heidebrecht@gmail.com.

      Jeremy

    • Hi Thomas, I have similar struggles as you…I was exposed to porn at a young age on accident, and it has been with me for years. I cant tell you that you will be able to quit any time soon, but one verse that helps me frequently is “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God. To those who are called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28 He forgives and forgets all sins, so continue to pray, meet with the local church, and read his word. You can overcome this!

    • Thomas i don’t know you. But man i been where you at. I still kinda am lol. But bro! Don’t give up. You gotta want the outcome So much you won’t care about the process. You see if your eyes are on Jesus and you don’t take them away from him. You won’t fall. Look man your human. I made some dumb choices. And it kills me. I wish i could start all over. And i can, tomorrow. Everyday is a new day. Remember your the son of Yeshua. The one who can bring the dead Alive and make the blind see. We hear that all the time! But it’s amazing! Your forgiven. Don’t bring yourself down because of that. Eliminate things like Social media. Eliminate the gateways. You already ahead by realizing there’s a problem. Love You man. And don’t give up

    • Hi, Jim – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I’m deeply concerned about your comments about dying – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255, if you are in the United States. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.

    • Stay strong Thomas remember there is authority and power in the blood of Jesus. Use it over your addiction. Victory in the name of Jesus

    • Thomas,

      Keep trying. Do not give up. Let people you trust and love in your life know that you are struggling. Get help!!! You can not do it alone.

      Sam

  6. St. Francis de Sales writes about the devout life. In it he states that it is not enough to stop sinning, but to also uproot, the “affection for sin.” I am an addict, and it is hard to admit it to myself: “I love this sin.” :( (makes me sick to my stomach) But until I can say that to myself, I can’t uproot it, because I am protecting it. I need God’s grace to not only stop sinning, but to hate this sin, and fear Him. For we truly fear hurting those whom we love, this is a holy fear. Also, sometimes this temptation doesn’t come from the spiritual, but from the physical, and requires a physical response to stop: barriers, saying “no.”, and building up the will in other ways.

  7. I am addicted to Porn long time and struggled to be a Christian .Also I am deaf,too. It is difficult to find a man interpreter to join a group. I felt trapped without prayer.and let your prayer for me that would help fight the battle .JESUS HAS GONE THRU SUFFERING AND TEMPTATION.HE IS ABLE TO HELP US IF WE ARE BEING TEMPTED HEBREWS 2:18.

  8. want to follow up on this stat:

    Why are the statistics saying that over 50% of all Christian men are addicted to porn?

    where did you find this? do you have a link to support this info? much appreciated…

    Bev Sterk

    • Hello, Bev – It’s not exactly 50%, but Barna did a study in “The Porn Phenomenon” in 2016 that points to 46% of men seeking porn monthly. If you’re interested in more stats, that’s a good place to begin.

  9. Hi I just wanted to say it is really hard yah know I masurbate because I’m afraid of being alone I mean I have had sex with a woman like recently that I truly care about but, I’m afraid it might end up like past times or I’m just kinda lonely at times and I depended on porn still do I’m marking today the day that I try and stop completely because I need to it seems nothing good comes out of it and I just hate myself afterwards. Wish me luck y’all and pray for me if yah could.

  10. hello, I am struggling with this issue of wanting to see explicit images. I haven’t gotten to the stage if there is stages, of masturbation, I am so afraid of having extreme remorse regarding this. I have gone forward to tell my spiritual leader, and found that becoming accountable helped, but a deep and true repentance was and is not yet achieved. I told my wife of this desire I have. and she was supportive. I say was because she thinks I am healed. I don’t want to hurt her, yet I know I am lying to her. I am tired of repenting and I feel as if God knowing my heart is tired of seeing me on the elementary level of repentance. please help.

    • Hello, you’re in the middle of battle. A battle for your heart. It’s tough, tough going. BUT, there is hope. Day by day. Press on. Continue to read. Continue to repent. Continue. Continue. Continue. You are fighting a relentless enemy. A question to reflect on: Do you truly want to stop? Do you truly believe porn is a horrible evil? Here are a couple of posts that can help you reflect on the true nature of your resolve and belief:

      Blog post #1
      Blog post #2

      Press on, brother! God is for you. He is not tired of watching you fight. He’s got His hand on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, “I am strong enough. Look to Me. Depend on Me. Victory is MINE.”

      Peace, Chris

    • Jordaan, remember that when you repent, God forgives, and forgets all your sins. He understands we are weak and sinful, and when he died on the cross he carried all of mans sin with him. Stay strong brother, God Bless

    • Hi, Jean – your way appears to not include God. That’s fine. Why is my way, which includes God so offensive to you? I’m genuinely curious.

      Chris

  11. Hi, my name is Paul I’ve struggled with watch porn since I was in the 5th grade. It began just as curiosity and then began watching it more frequently. I’m in high school at a certain point I was able to break free from this sin. The reason for this was beacause I got diagnosed with kidney faluire then recieved a transplant. After a year so later I began watching porn thinking to myself I could stop any time I wanted to. But the truth is that it’s difficult to ignore the thought of not watching. I hate myself for watching it because I know I’m better than this. And every time I watch porn all I think in the back of my mind is that I didn’t deserve to get this kidney or a second chance at life. And hat that I think that but I just don’t know what to do.

    • Hi, Paul – I’m sorry that you are struggling. Here’s a place to start – a simple question that requires a simple, but firm answer – do you want to quit? What I didn’t read in your comment is that you want to quit but it must – IT MUST – start there. As Oswald Chambers says, “make a clear and effective decision about sin.” Here and here are a couple of blog posts that might help you take some steps in a helpful direction. Gos is for you! Read Romans 8 as a reminder of Who Jesus is, who you are, and the power your have because of the cross of Christ.

      Peace, Chris

  12. Hello,
    My name is Sarah and I used to watch porn as many have. I was fortunate enough (when I found out porn was a sin) to stop cold turkey. After I haven’t had the desire to see it with many prayers to God and never allowed myself to be put in situations where I could be tempted.

    I have been with my fiance for 10 years. I’ve committed to him. We have two children together. He’s been struggling with porn for over 8 years that I know of. We broken up over this many of time. We are suppose to get married this July 7, 2017. But I recently found out he’s still watching it after many of promises and chances. I tell him I feel disrespected and not valued as his partner.

    I’m making the choice to not marry him anymore. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do but I’m not sure what else to tell him. He says if I didnt spy on him (go through his phone ) that I wouldn’t know anything. I feel beyond disrespected and betrayed.

    Any advice I would much appreciate. Do cancel the wedding and leave him with no more chances?! Or do I just turn a blind eye and just deal with it?!

    Best regards,

    Sarah

    • Hey Sarah,

      I guess it kind of depends on what kind of marriage you want to have. You know what’s going on, you know his response. If you want to live with his choices, that’s up to you. If you’re okay with things as they are, I’d say go ahead with the wedding.

      If you don’t want your marriage to be this way, then you’ve got some hard choices to make. You can’t control his choices, but you can control your own.

      Peace to you,
      Kay

    • Hey there ones thing I want to mention is that
      It’s not totally your fiance fault he is not only responsible for his condition. Society also plays a greater role he sometimes feel lonely sometimes distressed that’s why he is found it
      And fair enough in men testes levels are quite high yeah u may feel betrayed but that’s not his choice in reality he deserves u if really he is not betraying u anymore.. Stay blessed stay happy

  13. Hi ,
    I think I have become addictive to porn to a point of masturbating
    I have prayed and confess to my God father and he helped in praying for me but it seems as if after sometimes I went back to them.even when I sleep I just wake up feeling as to do so. I am a lady , I love God but I keep on deceiving him although I know it is gud,I keep on in the shameful act.
    Please could you please help me pray , I need prayers

  14. God is coming soon and I ask that we need to all stop this nonsense of porn. You are looking at a screen that won’t make you breakfast like a wife would. Every time you look at a video, the porn industry makes money. Watching porn adds fuel to the fire. God says that it is better to be maimed and enter the kingdom of God than to rot in hell. Give up all your electronics and magazines for the sake of your soul! Pray for the end of the porn industry.

  15. Please pray for me as I am struggling with this a lot and I am too afraid to really tell anyone that I know closely.

  16. Hi, my name is Chris i just want to stop watching porn so that i can be my best self and come back to God. I am typing this cos i just want to know that soeone out there cares cos its so hard telling friends about this addiction of mine but i’ve made up my mind to tell a friend or two about this. I just need some encouragement so that i can defeat this addiction and sin cos i am tired of doig this alone and failing

    • Hi, Christopher – I’m sorry you’re struggling, and yes, someone is here! And, it’s an awesome step to speak openly about this issue with a trusted friend. Please do that soon!

      That spirit of shame and disgust is so heavy. But, it wants you to keep secrets and hide the issue because when you do that, the enemy wins. BUT, in the light, and saving Grace-filled love of Jesus, that disgust and shame is crushed.

      Let me direct for a minute. Jesus did not die for us to flounder! It’s time to man-up :) So, I lovingly and directly offer to you that it’s time to put on your suit of armor and instead of seeing this as struggle, look at it as a battlefield. A good soldier wouldn’t go out expecting to die, so get out there and fight and don’t accept anything less than victory. You don’t have to give way to these sins, you choose to. Victory comes moment by moment. Not in life-long promises never to sin again. The enemy loves those promises! “Give us this day our daily bread.”

      Be strong! Christ did not die, descend to the depths of hell, conquer death, and rise to glory only to be defeated by your struggle. He overcame the struggle for YOU! Yes, for you. God is for you and will be your strength. But, you must act. Look at Joseph in Egypt – when tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay and ponder the situation. No, he ACTED and RAN! Now is your time. If you still have access to porn through a computer or smartphone, then pitch it. Through the TV? Toss it out the window. Battle.

      I hope the best for you, I truly do.
      Chris

  17. I am a woman who suffers this . I’m addicted and believe me when I say I want to stop. I beat myself emotionally trying to stop and I fall back. I don’t know what to do. I have a family, I am married I still love my husband intimately, I have no issues in that. I just really want to stop. It makes me feel disappointed in myself after it. I started doing this when I lost my virginity at 16 to a much older man. He’d say it was ok to watch. Anyways he messed up my life in a lot of ways. I thank God I found the “out” but what I didn’t find an out to was porn. I am happily married, my husband used to watch it all the time but he stopped cold turkey i don’t know how but he did.

    • Hi, Chet, I’m glad that you’re stepping forward. What have you tried? Are you using Covenant Eyes? Staying stuck is your choice. Only you can make the decision to stop and we can help if you make that decision. Sign up. That will give you a first step and prove that you’re serious about breaking free. There’s an old proverb that says, “fall down 7 times but get up 8.” I hope that’s you.

      Chris

  18. I need help in this area. I feel like a failure, was baptized last year and now I’m doubting why, if I have not changed my actions or thoughts. Will God forgive me for committing this same sin? Am I still considered a Christian?

    • Hi, one of the many amazing characteristics of God is His ability to forgive. Instantly. Tomorrow is a new day! Fresh mercy, for you. Let’s get to the root – why haven’t you stopped? Do you still have too much access? Is it time to get rid of the iPhone or whatever you are using? What steps are you really willing to take to quit? Only you can answer that.

      Go read Romans 8 – that’s what you are! A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Rooted on by God. Will God forgive you again? Yes. Are you stilla Christian? That question implies that the act of watching porn may have erased your initial commitment. The answer is yes, you’re still a Christian – porn didn’t remove that. But, let me say this with all the love and grace and directness that I can – it’s time for more! And, you won’t experience a “more” and full and amazing life while watching porn. It’s impossible.

      So, stand up, look up, repent, and step forward. Tomorrow is a new day!
      Chris

  19. Please pray for me, I really want to feel Gods presence and be close to him and be used of him. But I can’t stop watching porn I’ve been a Christian for 2 years now and I’m worried that I might not be truly converted because I feel like I’m a slave of porn, can someone please pray for me and put their email address below to be my liability partner?

  20. hi! i am a guy suffering porn addiction and masturbation since i was 16 yrs old now i am22.i hate my life because these addiction messes my life.. i am a college student but i dont have enough GPA even to get a job after graduation.. porn disturbs my spritual & academic life I’ve been high ranking student back in elementary & highschool.i wish i have never been born

    • Hello, Jon – I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. You were meant to thrive – not suffer like this. It sounds like maybe you’re trying to beat this monster on your own. It’s just not possible. Secrets are destroying you. They always win in a battle with just you. Can you find other “wingmen” for this battle? Can you find ONE trusted person that you get really open and honest with? Can you close the doorways to the internet that are causing problems? After 6 years, it will likely require some professional help, in addition to all of those things I just suggested. It will take a team. And, of supreme importance for your team must be the Holy Spirit of God, as you ask for renewal of your mind. I’m not trying to heap a bunch of “to-do’s” to your life. But, you can’t expect different results when you keep digging in the same hole. New choices. New thoughts. New paths. New behaviors. All of this is necessary for a new result. You do these things and then watch God sweep in a turbo-charge your efforts. The choice is yours!

      Peace to you,
      Chris

  21. My husband started looking at porn and going to strip clubs when he began working out of town. He kept it all a secret until I accidentally found out about it. It has practically destroyed me as I had no idea he was this type of person, and we have been married 30 years. He has been working hard to redeem himself and has been doing good and I have been going to counseling but I never knew he had so much lust in his heart and that is the part that kills me. Even now he still struggles with it and it makes me so sad because he would never be able to find another woman that loves him as much as I do, and have.. and yet sometimes it seems its just all about sex. Like you wrote in reason #1, it doesnt matter if it comes from your wife or porn…the feeling is the same. Isn’t there more to life than sex and a woman’s body parts. How about what she has to give from the inside. Do men ever get it?

    • There absolutely is more to life than sex and body parts! The older we get, the more important it is to invest in those things…

      I think men can get it. It takes a long time and lot of work, though. They have to stay in their process and keep doing their work. The real, true work of recovery is very painful and pain-staking. And, I think our culture generally does not allow men the kind of emotional tools that are needed for work like this. Our culture says, “be a man” and “big boys don’t cry.” Men learn that when they’re in pain, their only options are to be angry or act out sexually. They aren’t allowed to feel or to process their pain in healthy ways. To truly recover requires the acquisition of these emotional skills. Often men will be able to do okay behaviorally in terms of habitual behaviors, but that is only the first step. If he’s not able to work through his own pain and learn new ways of coping with his emotions, he’ll go back to what’s always worked: porn.

      My husband got it, and our marriage is better today than it ever was before porn. But it hasn’t been easy, quick, or painless. I wrote a bit about the difference between behavioral trust and emotional trust a while back, and I think that might connect to the thoughts you’re expressing here.

      Peace to you, Kay

    • Im a 21 year old man and i get exactly what your saying. Theres a part of me who wants to find a women whom i can hold and cherish. Share a life with and grow a family with. The bad thing theres a part of me that has the lust for porn. Its so difficult to quit completely. I cant sleep, it makes it hard to focus. Porn and sex addiction is a SERIOUS problem. I hope your husband gets better. I really hope that my addiction is gone so i can pour myself into a healthy relationship.

  22. Please help me and pray for me because i want to be cleansed of this awful porn addiction so that i can be a good Christian saint in my Pentecostal Christian church for my dear Jesus christ.

    • Hi, jungle Jhon, I’m 23 old man, I think I’m addicted to porn, when I’m in 14, I watched my first porn, my friends taught me porn and masturbation. When i watched porn at the first time i was so scared but after that it becomes part of me. in my 14 i watched lots of porn videos and photos all the day and night without sleeping without going to school with out going to relatives without going functions. I lost my confidence. Now I’m scared about my life and my life partner. I kept it secret. Now i want to share with you and quit porn and recover my life and yours

  23. I’ve been dealing with sexual addiction and porn since I was a kid.Im 38 years old and felt drawn to the ministry. When I was saved I had no want to watch porn. I was free for over a year before fell back in it. Maybe if I tell others about my problem I can then find healing. So here it is. I’m addicted to porn. I know I’m going to heaven, however I want to be obedient to the Lord and be porn free.

    • Josh, I appreciate your honesty. As a leader of a flock, it’s time to get serious. You cannot pour freedom and purity out of a dirty cup. Get open and honest with at least one, if not multiple “wingmen.” James 5:16 compels us to live openly and Ephesians 5 compels us to live in the light. You can’t beat it alone.

      Chris

  24. Hey, I am a 17yr old female and I have been struggling with pornography and masturbation for years. From the age of 3 or 4, I began actively pursuing sexual stimulation before knowing that what I was doing was essentially masturbation. I believe I was in elementary school when I was exposed to pornography. I had found my dad’s porn while looking around his room. My younger sibling also saw it as well. Although we thought it was disgusting and quickly left it alone, the cover image on that CD was etched into my mind and has changed my life for the worse. I started searching for material like what I saw out of curiousity and from there it spiraled out of control. The content of what I watched became really dark, and even more appalling but I continued to watch it anyways. I had always called myself a christian but I didn’t fully give my life to Him until earlier this year. Over the years, I have tried to quit because I know it is sin, I am aware of the negative impact it has on my perception of people and my life in general, and I don’t want to be like this yet I keep falling back into it. I honestly thought I was over this because I had been clean from sexual immorality for almost 2 months. I stopped listening to sinful music, and cut off other triggers I knew I had, was praying more, and actually reading the bible consistently. Recently, I moved away from home for university and my sibling was my accountibility partner but it just isn’t the same. Also, my sibling was able to resist falling back into this sin and has been on fire for Jesus. I am involved in a christian group on my campus, feel like God is calling me to take part in ministry, and was helping others with their own struggles when I was clean but now… I feel unqualified, sinful, ashamed, and pathetic. I don’t want to be this way and I know I need help. I don’t have anybody here to confide in about this; or maybe I just don’t trust them enough because they’re still new to me, and people think I’ve got it all together but I don’t since I had disclosed how I became free of it and now I’m in it again. It feels impossible, and I don’t want to be taking God’s grace for granted. He has been so good to me… I just feel like I need to move on from this and do His will instead of dealing with the same issue all the time. He has brought me a long way but this problem is still here and it needs to be resolved. I’ve been under spiritual attack as well and I don’t want to be leaving room for Satan in my life. I just want to be basking in God’s love always. I know God’s design is so much better but I’ve accustomed myself to settling for less. Sorry for the life story, I’m trying to take steps in the right direction by being completely transparent for once and begin healing.

    • Hi there.

      I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering and I’m so glad you wrote in. Hopefully I’ll be able to help.

      First of all, deliberately exposing children to pornography is a form of child sexual abuse. Perhaps you were only accidentally exposed to your dad’s porn, but he brought that into your house and did not protect you from it, which meant that you were exposed to traumatic sexual content at a very early age without any way to process or understand what you had seen. Children will ALWAYS “act out” what they are trying to understand.

      Secondly, it is very normal for children to explore their own bodies. Our sexual system is part of our physical selves, and it’s normal for us to figure out how that part of us works. We learn to walk, we learn to talk, we learn about our sexuality. There is nothing weird or abnormal about that. However, we have a great deal of shame in our culture around sexuality, especially for girls and women. Women aren’t “supposed” to be sexual while men are “supposed” to be hypersexual. Our sexuality is normal.

      Third, shame is a liar. Shame says that you are “unqualified, sinful, ashamed, pathetic” when in fact you are completely loved, safe, and chosen, created in the image of God, totally beloved.

      Fourth, shame will never, ever help us be healthy. It only makes us feel worse. So, while it’s a liar, it also drags us deeper into our problems. Here’s a short animation I made recently on shame and how it never helps, and what we can do to break out of shame cycles.

      So. What’s the way forward? Well, since you mentioned that you’re a college student, I’m going to bet that there are campus counseling services available to you. I would suggest that you make an appointment and talk to someone about the trauma you suffered as a small child through porn exposure. Work through the shame that you’re feeling around your sexuality. I think once you take care of the trauma and the shame, you’ll be much better prepared to make healthier choices for yourself going forward. Once you’ve talked to a counselor you may feel safer to open up to one or two other safe people. And I bet you will find that you are FAR FROM ALONE in what you’re going through.

      Peace to you,
      Kay

    • Please don’t allow this downfall to make you believe that you’re unworthy. Firstly, forgive yourself, secondly join this Christian Group as it will encourage you to pray and meditate on the word and before you know you’ll be delivered, and finally bear in mind that it is possible to help yourself by helping others, see for the mere fact that you’ve been a victim of the devils trap for so long means that you know how it feels and you can lead someone out of their bondage by simply trying to help them.
      I KNOW YOU’RE GONNA BEAT THIS, I KNOW YOU CAN SO PLEASE BELIEVE IT

  25. Maybe this could the beginning of my healing, it has been probably 6years of porn addiction but am ready to say goodbye now. I can’t tell anyone cause am afraid they would judge me but am trusting God for healing.

  26. Hello I am also struggling with porn I have been saved about two years an orderly watched porn over 30 times I have been trying to crucify this flesh but I keep going back to my vomit. I felt God’s granted me repentance an keep going back to it I feel like I’m becoming reprobate annoys harder for me to overcome it I was free recently for a couple months but when my desires are strong I do it an I feel like nothing is wrong then I feel like I hate myself an God hates me an Im going to hell for it I really need help. Im thinking of breaking my smart phone because all my lustful desires are just a click away. I want to be forgiven an live for Jesus but I kind of feel like I ran out of chances to be forgiven an I’m overcome an entangled like apostle Peter said an now I think it would of have been better for me that I would have nver known the truth. I need help sometimes I wish I was never created an I hate myself an this world an I even get mad a t God sometimes for creating me 😩😢

    • Hello, John – I’m proud of you for leaving your comment on the blog because it is very difficult to admit our struggles. I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Oh, and God doesn’t run out of forgiveness – there’s a great song right now about His forgiveness being an plentiful as “the drops in the ocean.” Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255, if you are in the United States. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.

      God is for you! John, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.

      Peace, Chris

  27. I am trying to stop watching porn, It’s not an easy task, I can for sure say that. I am glad I found this site and to know I am not the only one in this situation.

  28. I am also suffering with this situation just like the many who have posted here. I just want to be able to express it out, it’s really hard for me to tell it to the people close to me. I’ve prayed for this many times and have tried stopping but I always end up doing it again… if anyone could pray for me… help I don’t want to be in this situation forever… I really want to stop this and want to be able to fully grow my journey with God.

  29. I think Prayers and Faith in Jesus can set you Free. But we have to remember that God can be silent for very long. we just have to wait and have faith in his timings!

  30. Its tough. I pray for strength against temptation and evil. As a male, there are reminders everyplace youlook. Billboards with Women in small bikinis, commercials that are racy, even women on Christian TV with super tight clothing on. Is this thier fault? No, but its a constant struggle to walk clean vs the constant reminder Satan is throwing at you. Ive never cheated on my Wife, but I know looking at porn is the same. Jesus said just thinking it is the same as adultry. Its a constant fight. I pray for help everyday, but its like Im Satans puppet as he laughs at me.
    Any prayer would be great.

  31. Please pray for me I have been addicted to porn for a very long time . I break free of it once in awhile but like a dog I return to my vomit. I feel sad about it I have spoken to my brother about it and he is going to become my accountability partner . But I need help please pray for me I will pray for y’all this sin is an obimibatiob and Christ can over come I know it …

  32. I don’t even know how many years I have been struggling with porn. When I was saved and I read in the Bible that lust and sin was wrong, I threw all my porn away and went on with a fresh start. Over the years time, my eye caught a sexual image and I got ensnared right back into it. I felt horrible, and then over time I just become numb to to these images and now I just reached a point in which I feel that I can’t stop it and there is no way out. I know that the Devil is lying to me, ( big surprise there)
    I know that it is wrong, and I always say Lord Help me to stop this….and then I go right back into it again, over and over. I know that being intimate with my wife and having sexual purity is what God wants and I need prayer and a group that I can get with to pray over this. Sometimes I feel that if I died right now, God would love me and forgive me as he always has, but I think he might have his reasons as to why I have not become everything I should become.

    • Hi, Mordecai, thank you for having the guts to post here. You’re taking to someone right now :) Have you found any forums that might help if you want to keep the discussion more private? I’ll be really honest with you – I don’t know that you would be able to fully defeat pornography alone. It’s just really, really rare that someone can do that. I’d like to encourage you to tell at least one of your parents. Is that possible? I can help you with what to say, if you’re willing to try. Let me know (email below).

      Regards,
      Chris
      chris.mckenna@covenanteyes.com

  33. Hi firends, I feel much better knowing that there is a lot of people who is struggling with the same problem that I am. I’m form Mexico. I´m a single man and I was married two times, my last wife leave me because my adiction to the pornography. I’m looking for help, I want another chance to live my life according the God’s will. I do not know what I must to do but I do not want to continue being a slave. Please give me some advices. Help me to know that I’m not alone in this struggle. Sorry about my writing mistakes, I don’t speak english very well. God bless you firends.

  34. I posted a comment saying that watching porn and masturbation are normal for men, unless it becomes all-consuming. I also said that this advice from conservative Christians that are NOT doctors with legitimate credentials. My post was deleted. Did I hurt someone’s book sales, perhaps? So much for open discourse, eh?

    • Hi, Gulagg – no, we’re not like that. I simply fell behind on a few posts over the holidays, but I believe I have accepted that comment, and I’ve now also accepted this one where you tried to pick a fight. No problem. I’d be happy to have open discourse about the statement in your previous post once you provide me the “clinical studies” that conclude that men require ejaculation every 72 hours or their testicles explode. Thanks!

      Chris

    • See as christians, we shouldn’t conform to the norms of this world. So what’s acceptable for the world is destructive for the child of God.
      Isnt it obvious that the individuals who are speaking out about their struggle here on this page arent happy to be bound to addiction they hate the idea that they are disadvantaging themselves and are blocking their destinies and want out.
      So why are you expecting us to welcome your discouraging views with open arms?

  35. Please i desperately need help .I have been in this shameful act for 8 years now.I hold a position in church,this act judges my position as a Christian people look up to. I have tried possible ways to stop but hasn’t.Now I declare I am a porn addict,please help me

    • Hi, Ernest – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? What have you tried when you say, “I have tried possible ways to stop but hasn’t”? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?

      Chris

    • Firstly, change your confession, start declaring that you’re not an addict and that you’re gonna conquer this problem. Secondly, Fast and pray over the matter, you can try a partial dry fast from 6 am to 6pm and use prayer points like,’Holy Spirit fill me up with self control to overcome the flesh and its desires’ or ‘Lord God deliver me from this porn addiction’ and I kid you not, you’re gonna see a change.

  36. I am a teenager but due to technology i have a laptop in which i use in watching porn anytime i return for vaccation i have tried to prepare a time table to help keep me busy at all times but the billboards and pictures that are posted on the roads always reminds me anytime i walk on the road.Infact it let me sin anytime i return home

  37. I pray everyday for forgiveness of sins but by time i realise i do the same thing again. I put my trust in JESUS by praying and reading my bible but still i cannot stop it.

    • Hi, Joel – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? What have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that? If you’re not willing to “pluck out your eye,” and only “kinda want to quit looking,” then you will continue to fail.

      Chris

  38. The advise that I can give someone who feels trapped by porn addiction and other addiction is simple, don’t underestimate the matter, to be honest you’re in bondage but Jesus Christ can break that bondage, just pray and fast over the matter all in the name of seeking deliverance and believe that God will remedy, see God wants to see you free and delivered, do away with the condemnation. Shalom

  39. Does anyone know of a forum or support/accountability group for Christian women with this problem? I haven’t found one. Judging from these comments, there seems to be a need for something like that. Also, my problem is with sexually explicit writing rather than pictures or videos. Does anyone else battle against that? For every person in these comments who asked for prayer, I am asking the Lord to deliver us from this temptation, and from the shame and self-loathing that comes from it.

  40. I’m a Christian Jedi, we don’t have these problems. But I hope all of you will find the help that you need! Rockatoa, Brickticks out!

  41. Please pray for me, I now know that am addicted to porn and I beg God for forgiveness. Am also hopeful that one day I will be free from it, if the Lord let us live. May God in his infinite mercy set me free in Jesus name. Amen

  42. I have been struggling with that addiction for about 6 long years… and i began to hate myself more and more. Please pray for…. I’m so tired of this…i want to be free

  43. My name is Sean I’m 17 years old and have been addicted to porn ever since I was 13. Started off small but then became daily. I pray all the time for the strength to be ride of it, and from time to time I go days without it. However, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, thus my natural biology and sexual desires tempt me into porn. I’ve always known telling others would help as god gives us that truth. But I’m so scared to tell due to the reactions from family. I have tried before with nonchristian freinds, as most kids my age tend to be,but they’ve made it seem so merge. It’s been so hard to not want it denying its pleasure makes it harder to stop. Like all things it’s there for a reason but not for masturbation. I have many reasons to quit, God’s conmand alone is enough but I can’t control myself. God has acted on my prayers before and reviled much to me. I want kids when I get married and the prospect of not being able to produce my own children scares me. There are of course other alternatives but sin is sin. No matter how small or prevalent it may be I feel its effects daily even trying to tell myself no and even in the act I remind myself of what I should have done. I offer my pain and my loneliness to god as he will provide. Such as this, this text I pray will be one of the opertunitys I’ve been provide and search for, that may finally put a break to this. I thank you for reading, and pray for all of you.

  44. Hi everyone my name is Abel, i was addicted to porn went i was 12 years old and am 25years now am seriourly struggling to get ride of this but it hard to resist please i need prayers and support, these act is eating my heart and coursing depression to me. it even went to an extend that if i don’t maturbate i dnt feel ok. please pray for me my life is running out of control please i need help.

    • Hello, Abel – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? Do you still have internet access? Are you really willing to do whatever it takes to quit? This blog post has 6 Essentials for breaking free.

      But, it might simply come down to you making the conscious commitment to wanting to quit.

      I hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive. It’s just that many people that come to our blog looking for help have never had someone tell them to make a decision. That’s right – make the decision to quit. And, then do whatever it takes to support that decision. I can’t make it for you. If that means throwing away your phone, then throw it away. If you say you “life is running out,” then your life is worth far more than a phone. Does that mean finding new friends? Then, find new friends. Do whatever it takes! This is a battle. No soldier “kinda” goes into battle. It’s after training, with weapons, and fully committed. Otherwise, you get destroyed. And, that’s what will happen unless you’re fully committed.

      I’m rooting for you! If there’s a voice inside your head saying “you’re not strong enough,” or “you’ll never make it,” then scream in a pound voice, “LIAR!” because that’s not true. I’m living this way right now. Then, turn to God, and watch His Holy Spirit turbo-charge your commitment and give you strength you didn’t know was possible. Too many people pray to God for the strength to quit. And, then wait around and do nothing until He answers. That doesn’t work. Pray and then GO! Fight! Decide! And, you watch Him strengthen your actions. Grace-driven effort.

      Chris

  45. Hello everyone,
    We have just read the above article for a reason. We all are seeking help! We all want to rid our lives of this drug! We want to better our lives with our family and friends, but most importantly, our God!

    My name is Jason I’m now 30, I was first intorduced to porn by one of my sister’s boyfriend’s when I was 14, but didn’t start watching it religiously until I joined the military and was on my first deployment at the age of 20. I stayed a virgin until the age of 19, and then I found the “high” one gets from sex. While I was deployed I realized I could give myself the “high” and didn’t need a woman to get it. I was hooked and I can actually remember what video I was addicted to because I wanted my wife and I (got married at age 24) to reenact it, which was some role play. She was not a sexual person but her love for me gave her a sacrificial heart and she wore what I wanted her too. As our marriage went on I found myself watching again, but mostly after we had children and she no longer felt confident with her body. I found women who were, both porn and in person.

    I confronted her with what I thought was her problem. Her and I would have sex about once to twice a month. I told her my eyes were wondering, which made her feel bad. I didn’t realize until today, the problem was actually me! It’s much easier to place the blame on someone else, especially when us reading this are the one at fault, we just don’t want to admit it. My wife and I will be divorced in a couple of weeks, not sure if my addiction played a role or not, but I believe in myself it did. I know have custody of our two boys and don’t want the sins of my youth to be passed to them. This addiction is a horrible one and can tear families apart.

    13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.
    16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
    James 5:13‭, ‬16 KJV
    https://bible.com/bible/1/jas.5.13-16.KJV

  46. My name is James I’m 15 years old I’m chistian-catholic and I’v e been suffering porn addiction for 3 years since I was in my 6th Grade porn made a massive impact in my life. It started when I’m watching the anime One Piece (I don’t blame it I watch it because the story was very very good I’m just telling that there is some not good content in it) still I watch it and read it every week. there is some sexual content shown there like beautiful women taking a bath and while watching it I felt aroused by it and it lead me to viewing nude pics of anime girls and I’m saying to my self “I’m only doing it to know about sex” and it continues until it leads to watching videos and masturbation
    I prayed for it many times everyday to stop but it can’t. I always keep expecting that it will be gone away if I pray for it many times but it just can’t.it still continued I watch different genre of videos then I discovered gay stuff in porn and it questions my sexuality and asked myself “Do I really like guys” and then I realized I’m gay and It adds to my troubles, burdens and worries because what if my family knows about it are they going to disown me, desert me and I’m christian-catholic how will I handle that.

    and because of that I became humiliated and embarassed to myself I lost my dignity and all my confidence It changes my decisions in life I decided not to have kids not to have a partner and did something I never thought I could have done that leads me to arguing with my family and loved ones and affects my relation ship with them I never hang out with my friends and my time with them decrease I became late for practices and activities because I was too busy watching porn it always lead me to the wrong ways in my life

    I always deny about my sexual sins and every time I deny about that it devastates me I think that it only adds to my sins and think that there is no forgiveness for what I’ve even though I pray a trillion times I always said to myself “you don’t deserve to live”,” you’re more worthy dead” I became depressed I always think about killing myself EVERYDAY but I can’t because I thought that God will not accept me to his kingdom I’m to dirty and disgusting for him But I know he don’t think like that I know he always forgives me most of the time I forgot because Insiditme I can’t feel that he forgive me.

    There is also a time that I discovered my cousins and Father watches porn to and I always blame and said to myself “This is my fault God is punishing me for what I’ve done”

    I always feel very very down that I couldn’t anything to fix our problem our family are not very open about talking about sexes

    • Continuation:

      I don’ know how to help them I don’t even know how to help myself I became terrified to be who I am because I fear that whole world will judge me because I’m gay even if I did nothing they bash and insult me Maybe I’m gay but I will choose not to marry a man because It s wrong or woman because I don’t her love to be wasted.

      I just want to tell you how pornography affected me, my choices, my relationships to God and to my loved ones, and my life. I really need good words and advices for me Please Help me and Pray for me and my Family God Bless

    • Hi James,

      First of all, I want to say thank you for writing in so bravely, at age 15. I think that shows what a person of courage and conviction you are.

      Second, I want to say thank you for not harming yourself, even though you may have been tempted at times. You are God’s gift to this world, and we need to you here, just as you are.

      Third, the shame that you experience around sexuality in general, porn in general, and then around homosexuality are probably the bigger issues than pornography itself. Shame becomes a driving factor in addictive-type behaviors, and working to overcome that shame is just as necessary as making behavioral changes like installing Covenant Eyes, finding an accountability partner, etc. Here’s a short animation I made on interrupting shame cycles, which might help as you think this through.

      Fourth, I want to tell you that being gay is NOT a sin. I know that if you could make any other choice about your sexuality, you would, right? As a Catholic Christian, you would never ever choose this. I’m a therapist, I’ve worked with lots of gay Christians, and I have yet to come across one single gay Christian who wanted to be gay. Your sexual orientation is NOT a choice, it’s NOT a sin. You are precious and perfect just as you are, sexual orientation and all. I would encourage you to visit Q Christian Fellowship where you can find gay Christians living whole, holy lives.

      Peace to you,
      Kay

  47. I have read majority of the thoughts and articles pasted here, it’s been very interesting, feels like my own history narrated by someone else; mine story is not so different from yours except my faith and religion is different from you. I am a Muslim by religion and have faith in Allah. I was introduced with porn once there was no internet rather there were VHS tapes. Like one of my friend told here same goes with me. I joined military in the officer cadre at age 21 and was deployed on an isolated location far away from any city and I was unmarried. I used to watch porn videos on video cassette recorders i.e. VCR. I got married to the love of my life at 26, initially I went away from porn being newlywed and strenuous military routine kept me away from porn but I shifted to masturbation than porn. Now, I am 48 still happily married for 22 years with three kids and my eldest is daughter she studies in a university she is 21 now and I am still addicted to porn. Like one of the friend above said that men do require a sexual release after every 72 hours same goes for me. My wife knows and preempt my next move like she is my soul mate and is always reluctant but finally gives up in my sexual fantasy and we watch porn together but I get orgasm and she just help me get out of this situation all the time. We make love once or twice a month but my watching of porn never stops. With the access of high speed Internet this porn watching and resulting in masturbation is my routine since long I mean very long it’s been over 25 years. After each episode I bow down to my Lord ask for forgiveness feels sorry for my sins but the circle repeats itself after every 72 hours without fail. Now, I am a retired army officer living peacefully with my wife and three kids this porn watching is like a habit just like smoking I always failed to quit. I need direction and counseling to eliminate this habit and wants to get rid of it for good. My wife sometimes gets irritated on me watching porn but she loves me a lot. I gave her an excellent lifestyle with all amnesties including house, cars and what all any woman could dream for but I am still a porn addict so can you help!!!!

  48. I have been hooked on porn since I was about 13. I am turning 35 this year. So many times have I prayed fervently for God to just take away this desire to look at porn and masturbate, but time and again I keep doing it. I eventually got to a point where I realized, being male, we have a high sex drive due to constant sperm accumulation in our bodies. If you do not look at porn or masturbate, then what? You will go out and have one night stands – either way you are committing a sin – in the words of Jesus you will be condemned to hell. First of all, this seems really unfair. Our bodies were designed this way, to have this constant sexual pressure, to make matters worse we are in a world where sex and scantily clad women are everywhere. Are we just supposed to wait for a wet dream? What about what we dream of? All three ways end up in sin. It really doesn’t make any sense at all. My partner passed away last week from cancer. Our sexual relationship was good up until the point she was too weak when it started getting bad. What is a man like me supposed to do? I adopted her two children from her first marriage (the dad passed away a long time ago) and we also have a son together. I will not be able to be in another relationship for a few years to not affect them. Until then, I have sperm building up in me all the time, I need a release. Seriously what am I supposed to do to release the sexual tension?

    • Hello, Jay – my heart is crushed by your situation. Truly. I want to be delicate, because I just can’t relate to the situation you’re in. I’m not going to tell you not to masturbate. So, what does that mean? Can you masturbate without sinning? Christians love to argue about this question. I honestly don’t know. I’ve just decided to let each person answer this one for him/herself. Covenant Eyes does not have an official stance on masturbation. Also, please find an amazing counselor. Stay connected to an amazing group of friends. Stay abundantly active. About porn, I guess my words would be to please stay away. It’s too slippery of a slope. Especially right now. Daily commitments. Daily bread. It has to be possible, right? I mean, it has to be possible to live porn-free, or Jesus died for nothing. I’m far from perfect, but I have to try and internalize the truth that my struggle is not so big as to make the cross powerless. It must be possible to live in freedom. Otherwise, Christ came for nothing.

      Jay, may God give you abundant grace. May that grace guide your efforts. And, may your efforts succeed.

      Peace,
      Chris

  49. Hi I’m 23 years old guy. I think I’m addicted to porn. My friends taught me about porn. when I was a 14 year old boy i saw first porn video. When I saw that first time I was scared of nude women’s body from the video.. After that porn became part of me. I watched lots of porn videos and photos to know more about girls. I watched porn daily all the day and night without sleep without going to school without studying without going for marriage functions. I did masturbation daily all the day and night by watching porn. I don’t talk to anyone i don’t talk to girls because I’m scared of girls. I was a smart boy but after i saw porn i lost my confidence and becomes shy type.

    Now I’m 23, waiting for job and marriage. I’m scared about my life and my upcoming life partner. I reduced the amount of watching porn, i reduced the amount of masturbation. But I’m still watching porn and masturbating once a week , I’m still worried about my life. Am i a porn Addict? Please tell me I really need to know and want to quit porn fully.

    • Hi, Akshay – I don’t think the word “addiction” is helpful. Whether I call you a porn addict or not doesn’t change your situation. Here’s what you’re saying (I’ll just repeat it back) – your life is better without porn. You don’t want to bring porn and habitual masturbation into your marriage. These are both good and noble desires that I applaud. So, will you do whatever it takes to get rid of it? Don’t get married until things are better. Talk to a spiritual advisor or counselor. Someone to help you unwind 9 years of behavior that has taught your brain a lot of untrue things about sex and orgasm. Take a 90-day fast from everything. Maybe get rid of some devices that a tempting. Those are a few tips that I’ll leave with you. None of them are easy, but you can’t take the easy road if you want t live porn-free. Porn is a beast that is only satisfied with ALL of you and it will stop at nothing to try and get it.

      Peace,
      Chris

  50. Hi chris, if I were to marry it would be twenty five years old. I stopped watching pornography. Now I think I’ve changed a lot more than before. Because I have reduced watching porn and masturbation as I mentioned earlier.
    Now I’m not scared of girls. That was old me. that was 9 years ago. The main reason I left comment: I had to know if I was a porn Addict That’s why I asked about it. I think I’m now mature enough to my life.
    I’m new now. Porn is very bad for life. its destroying our lives
    By the way thank you for your advice.
    Can you tell me more.? .

    • Hello, Akshay, you’re on the right path of striving forward, learning from the past, and trying not to repeat past mistakes. If you’ve stopped (which is amazing!), then try to put as many controls in place as possible to keep porn away. Get controls on the devices. Talk opening with people you trust. Stay close to the Lord. Wak up each day ready to fight. And, when temptation comes, write it down so that you can start to identify patterns of when the enemy is coming after you. He’s constantly changing tactics. But, you can keep changing your tactics, too. I’m happy for you and wish you all the best.

      Chris

  51. As I read this article, I feel a huge guilt upon me. Part of me doesn’t even believe that I am His because I keep failing Him. Everyday I want to get closer to Him and surrender. I get so angry because whenever I fail… I cry out to Him and ask for forgiveness. But then, I got right back to it just like you said in the article “dog returning to it’s own vomit.” I am sick and tired of asking for forgiveness but then going right back. I know prayer and fasting works, because I’ve done it before. Now, it’s hard, because I work intense hours and any alone time I get at home, it goes into pornography and just my mind thinking about very horrible and sexual images. I need help and I know I do. I don’t have anyone to talk to because I truly don’t know people, locally. All those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ, are from other states and are limited with assistance. I want to honor God in all that I do… I don’t even want to preach to others anymore because I have this hidden and dark secret. All my old habits, I have done away with, through Christ but why is porn the hardest?? Doesn’t the word say that where temptation is uncommon to man, the Lord gives us a way out?? I use to drink, but no longer will I touch alcohol because I know that’s what the Lord doesn’t approve. I don’t smoke anymore because that’s definitely poison in the body. I no longer curse because I know it’s wrong and I feel convicted. Heck, even if I say one, I’ll cry out and repent. But with porn… it’s like a sick habit that needs to be done or else I’ll go crazy. Help me… I don’t want to do it but my flesh does…

    • Hi, Joshua – I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I can sense the depth of your pain in your post. Will you allow me to be really direct? In the last sentence, you said, “I don’t want to do it,” but you still allow internet access in your home? On your device? How are you getting to the porn? If you can’t handle having the internet around after your long days, then you have to find another way. You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same things and expecting different results. Or, don’t go home after those long days. Go to a friend’s house or somewhere safer. You know your situation best. In the end, if you really want to quit, then you’ll really do whatever it takes to quit. Porn only need a sliver of opportunity. It sounds like you need to remove as many of those slivers as possible because your will power and resolve alone are not enough.

      I wish you the best! God is for you. May His grace strengthen you.
      Chris

  52. please I really need help , am so addicted to porn I really want to leave it alone but whenever I try the thought keeps coming back , I want to stop porn I hate it .
    please help me

  53. Fair or not fair.
    God will not remove temptation from any of his children.
    Remember, Jesus was tempted, the apostles were tempted.
    What are we to God if we cave to every temptation.
    There might be some miracle cases of sex addiction being removed but that wouldn’t mean that some other addiction won’t take it’s place. I found that when you resolve one addiction another will kick in.
    If your an addict (including sex addicts) or alcoholic, go to a 12 step program ( I have never been to a sex anonymous meeting, it sounds dangerous, but I don’t know).
    I think the AA meetings would work. They have open meetings and you don’t have to be an alcoholic to attend. You can go there and benefit from that.
    I am an Alcoholic, I know how AA worked with my drinking. I have 37 years of sobriety.
    Meetings help me with keep everything in balance.
    Living the 12 step program is inline with Christianity. Continue going to church but get a 12 step program incorporated into your life.

    Greg

  54. Hello there

    I am a 26 years old male, I have been watching porn since I was 12 years old all because I am & I was alone and adventures.

    The best I have done was to hold myself for 14 days and it was awesome. I felt my self in that period.

    When I am doing it, My will power goes to shit & I can’t control my self not doing something stupid or nothing at all and it does prevent me from getting up and doing something great and helpful to myself and mylife.

    It has nothing to do with religious, hell or heaven or something like that.

    Just know that we came to this world with couple of cards in our hands if we play them right we are the winners, if not we definitely are the losers.

    One of those cards specially for men is urge to release the energy they have. If we use it in the right way it is a delight and success.
    I guess the problem is that we use it excessively like any other situations. going extreme in any activity is bad I guess.

    Eating too much food, being too much religious and so on not only it hurts us it will hurt people around us.

    I haven’t played my cards right so far, watching porn and Masturbation has become one part of my life that is too extra like a freaking cancer. If I could cure & fight it I could live again if not it is just going to eat me alive and leave me with nothing just regret.

    Some people say it is natural. if it was natural with no harm believe me nobody would argue or talk about it much.

    The good news is that I never gave up nor I could let it go. but deep down I know I am trying.

    I will keep trying and trying one day I look back at this moments and either I see that I have won or lost which is all up to me.

    From now on I am not looking at watching porn or masterbation like it is natural or part of our lives I am going to know that is should be part of my successful life and when I look back and see that I could do it 30 years from now I feel proud.

    If there is any tips that could help more please share

  55. Porn is so dragging me from advancing my spiritual living which i really want enhanced…i got hooked into this sin when i was 7.Now i am 27 and its still digging me up.yes!! 20yrs…i really need help guys

  56. I want to ask God to forgive me also. I seem to watch and masturbate to porn when my wife wont have sex with me. We have two kids and things aren’t like they used to be.
    I am asking for prayer because i hate it after, and i want to be right with God. I dont watch porn daily or weekly but still need to be strong.
    God I really need your help.

  57. I kind of given up, not mad at God, mad at myself, I cant do this because I am so isolated and I just don’t care anymore! I am going to burn in the lake of fire for it, because I am too weak! I am just tired, tired of trying to change this addiction but cannot seem to stop!

    • Craig, I’m proud of you for admitting your struggles. It takes tremendous courage to do so. You can overcome this. If you need someone to talk to, please call our customer service at 877.479.1119

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