I recently had the opportunity to interview the founders of the very popular blog, ChristianNymphos. This website with a memorable name has been visited by thousands of people. The founders were kind to answer some of my questions about their site and its purpose. Thanks, CN Spice Girls, for your time!
(Please note: this site is for married women and presents a Christian perspective on sexuality; as such, it covers many adult themes.)
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What was the catalyst for the website, ChristianNymphos.org?
We had become friends through our involvement on The Marriage Bed forum and had developed a unique friendship that we didn’t have with our other girlfriends. What made it unique is that we could talk to one another about our sex lives without fear of being judged or shunned. We found it helpful to have other women give us feedback on struggles we were encountering and also appreciated being able to celebrate the good things. Whether we were struggling with temptation in a certain area of our sexuality or we had just learned something new with our husbands, we found it helpful to let go of the notion that we don’t “kiss and tell.”
Without disrespecting the relationship we have with our husbands, we shared what we were learning and found that it was helpful for everyone. We started Christian Nymphos so that we could extend the opportunity for a place like that to other women.
The word “nympho” refers to a woman with an excessive or unhealthy sexual craving, but you seem to think it is healthy and biblical for a woman to crave sex with her husband. Why choose the name “nympho” for your site?
Our homepage will explain this in greater detail, but we used the term nympho because it describes how abnormal it can make a woman feel when she has a strong desire for sex, especially in the church. We are constantly hearing messages that indicate that in a normal Christian marriage, the man is the one who wants sex and the woman is the one who wants emotional connection. We say that we want both and we are not ashamed about it. We embrace ourselves as sexual beings and as women who take pleasure in our marriage beds.
What’s your mission as a web-based ministry? Who’s the target readership of ChristianNymphos?
Our mission is to teach married women to walk in sexual freedom with their husbands so that they will be able to reach out and help to free the women in their lives. Our target audience is women. Specifically, women who want to embrace their sexuality as God intended.
Have you received any negative criticism from emails or comments? Do people misunderstand your intentions?
We do hear from the occasional critic, and we have been mocked or made fun of on a few websites. But for every negative comment we get, we probably receive 20 positive and supportive comments. We do understand that many people view the subject of “Marital Intimacy” as private and aren’t comfortable discussing it outright as we do at Christiannymphos.org; however, our intentions have never been to titillate or cause people to stumble in their walk with Christ. We are simply trying to reach out to married women and minister to marriages.
You have a whole category, “Spices We Leave on the Shelf,” about sexual boundaries. You mention things like pornography, erotica, etc. I assume you’ve received quite a few questions from women about their husbands using pornography. Do you notice any commonalities among their stories?
The women who write in to us about their husband’s pornography addiction are usually full of a mixture of emotions. They feel disgusted, ashamed, humiliated, guilty, frustrated, angry, hurt, and confused. They are grieving, feeling defeated, unsure, scared, and some try to be hopeful. The same two questions usually come up: (1) What can I do to help my husband break this addiction? (2) How can I/we get past what he has done? Pornography addiction can be so destructive to marriages, and wives need help in figuring out what they can be doing to help their husbands overcome this.
You’ve had articles on some “controversial” stuff. Have some thought your posts were too “sexually explicit”? Are you concerned about this? How do you handle these sorts of objections or concerns?
We addressed these concerns in our article: “Does Reading the CN Blog Turn You On?” Any concerns we had were laid to rest. We have received countless emails from women across the world who write in to tell us how thankful they are that we tackle all the topics that we do, in the way that we do. We aren’t afraid to bring up sensitive topics because these are the topics that husbands and wives need to be discussing themselves. Communication is so important, and if we can help a couple to talk about something that they may have been too embarrassed to discuss before visiting our site, then that’s wonderful!
Do you have favorite testimonies from women or couples you have helped?
We’ve been doing this for just about 2 years now, and I am sure that each of us has a favorite testimony. We all agree that it really blesses us when someone writes in and says, “That was me! Thank you so much for your help!” or when someone feels more comfortable talking to us through email or through our comment section than they do with their own friends. We’re being taken more seriously than we were in the beginning, when we had a lot of detractors, and the best testimony has been when someone defends us on websites that poke fun at us or can’t believe we talk about this kind of subject matter. To read comments on other sites from our faithful readers defending us and our ministry, it really shows us that there are people out there who believe in us and our ministry.
Have you been able to use this website to be witnesses to your faith?
To start a website like this takes a lot of faith. It is definitely a taboo subject that makes a lot of churchgoers blush! In order to take on such a task, each one of us was lead by our faith. God came to us with a job, and we gladly followed his lead in it. Each and every one of us would agree that God is the leader of our website. We couldn’t do this without God’s blessing. We love to be used as a tool in God’s hand, and we witness daily how God is using us to help many men and women who read our daily entries.
God has called each of us to be disciples. We take this commission very seriously. Matthew 28:18-20 tells us, “Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” So, yes, it is very rewarding for us to see how God is using us as witnesses, not only on the North American continent where we all reside, but worldwide. It pleases us to be able to reach out globally and share our faith with our readers.
Why go by “spice” pseudonyms?
Cause we’re spicy? No, in all seriousness, GingerMama came up with the idea to start a site, and when she registered, she used her pseudonym to register for the site. We actually all chose our names after we decided on the site name and our tag line: “Spicy, the way God intended it to be”. Cinnamonsticks was VERY good at suggesting names that would fit our personality. You wouldn’t believe the names we went through to get where we are today. We finally posted a long list of spices for us to choose from, and that’s where we came up with our names . . . Cumingirl, Cinnamonsticks, and SpicyNutmeg (current authors) and GingerMama, Peppermintgirl and Sugar and Spice (former authors).