9 thoughts on “Dear Abby: I'm female, 16, religious, and addicted to porn

  1. i have the same exact problem,exept im 14 years old. i used to be hugely religious and now its all faded away. I think porn is like a temporary fix for me, kind of how it is with people who cut. i think that it makes me have a temporary fix in life, where i dont necessarily feel better or happy, but satisfied. i dont know how to get rid of the addiction and i dont know why i do it because everytime i do, i feel a huge amount of guilt. someone please help.

  2. One Idea to add to a multi-level Approach

    Christians, who understand and agree with allot of the basics of Christianity and proper walk with God, need to value practical steps in ‘stopping patterns of sin’.

    After you sin and resubmitted to allowing God to be back in control of your soul (through His spirit) consider what ‘door(s) you left open’ that made provision for stumbling and falling into that pattern of sin.

    Then, ‘while you’re spiritually sane’, take the practical step(s) to close that door as permanently as possible.

    For instance, adding the filter feature to your Covenant Eyes, breaking clean from certain friends or perhaps canceling your cable and remove TV from your home; whatever it takes… ratchet up the ‘door closing’ as you analyze each time you fall.

    Start with the obvious and keep working it until you are back in control (through Christ’s power). This means you are not just doing a bunch of ‘legalistic things’ but making practical adjustments until you see a difference.

    Its sort of like stopping a plumbing or roof leak… you make “repairs” until it stops.

    Thanks,
    David

  3. Well I have thee same problem to with watching porn and I really need help I’m a 16 year old girl and I just caint stop watching it it like a temorary fix for me and when i m not able to watch porn I masturbate I no how dusgussting it sounds but this is seriously taking over my life I caint deal with it enymore I’m tired of feeling ashamed after I do it but it seems like no matter how mutch I try I caint get through this addiction it just makes me feel horible about myself I just need to get through it and I always feel that god hates me because of the stuff I do

  4. Anonymous,

    First of all, God doesn’t hate you. There is nothing you can do that could cause God to hate you. He loves you, but He doesn’t love your behavior because it’s taking His place in your life.

    I struggled with sexual addiction from the age of 10 to 18 and can tell you that it’s possible to overcome. But it takes surrender, confession, accountability, taking responsibility and sharing your story to fully overcome.

    I have founded a ministry called Dirty Girls Ministries and it’s for girls and women just like you that need community and need to know they’re not alone. Covenant Eyes is a great tool to use as well to rid your life of the pornography aspect of your struggles.

    Know that you’re loved.
    Crystal Renaud
    Founder, Dirty Girls Ministries

  5. I have been raised to be a good christian, but now, in my late teens I find myself on the edge of what one could call acceptable.

    I have been looking at pornography and masturbated atleast once a month for the last year or so even though I know it’s wrong. I just can’t help myself, the urge is too strong. It leaves me with a feeling of intense helplessness and disgust. Why can’t I be like everyone else and stray from these sins? I can’t take it anymore… I hate myself, I hate my lack of control and I can’t face my family anymore; I get panic attacks and feelings of overwhelming inferiority every time I talk to them. I am a worthless person and I don’t deserve their love or respect.

    Do you think God will forgive me or am I doomed to an afterlife of suffering?

    • Hi Jaden. God is merciful and good. You are right to feel a sense of disgust over this sin, because all sin is shameful. But this is exactly what Jesus died for. God didn’t spare his own Son on the cross so that Christ could absorb all His wrath against sin. There is not a dorp of wrath left for those who are united to Christ. Not a drop. Christ has drained the cup dry. When you feel that sense of disgust, let it be a reminder of the cross: Jesus took all of your shame. Run to Him knowing you will find mercy and complete forgiveness. “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

      I encourage you to check out both BeggarsDaughter.com and DirtyGirlsMinistries.com. There are women available who have been through this, and they would love to talk to you.

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