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“My husband is the sex addict; why should I feel shame?” For most healthy outsiders, the logical answer is, “You shouldn’t.” But for most spouses of sex addicts, the feeling of shame clings to us like a body suit. Shame can result from an overwhelming assault on our self-worth. It…

I’ll never forget the day I walked out of therapy during early recovery. I left our therapist’s office crying, screaming, and slamming the door, vowing never to return. It’s safe to assume I was not pleased with how the session was going. At the time, I had not yet learned…

Some movies start with a serene setting, only to have the world collapse around the main character in the first two minutes. A wife discovering porn is a lot like that. Life seems normal, almost on autopilot. Then she picks up her husband’s iPad and, on a hunch, glances at…

Fifteen years ago, Dave called a dating line hoping to have a sexual conversation with a woman. Even though he confessed it, he was unwilling to admit the seriousness of his offense. I asked him to leave. He gathered a few things and stormed out of the house angry and…

Have you ever felt alone? I mean, really alone? Like there’s no one in the world who can help you with the grief or trauma you’re facing? There are thousands of women who experience this on a daily basis. They are the forgotten half of the pornography epidemic. These are…

Here’s an everyday occurance in my office: A woman who is betrayed, wounded, confused and traumatized, seeking to feel safe and stable within her own marriage, tried to set a boundary about porn in her home—hoping to avoid future episodes of betrayal and deception. In response to this attempt, her…

Preface: This article focuses on the experience lived by partners of sex and pornography addicts. However, if you’re a porn user yourself, I warmly invite you to keep reading! If your partner is able and willing to do so, he or she may play a positive role in protecting you…

Numerous Christian men I’ve counseled have shared how their Christian wives read romance novels and watch movies and shows that contain nudity in front of them, even asking them to watch with them. Ironically, these men are trying their hardest to remain sexually pure for their wives, while their wives…