That moment when one of your students tells you about their struggle with pornography…it is a vulnerable and agonizing moment. It’s also a holy one. Any moment of true confession is a holy one. Praise God for it. First Things First Here are three things you want to communicate right…
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Single and Lonely: How to Cope (Without Watching Porn)
One of the groomsmen at a relative’s wedding was also an old college acquaintance of mine. We hadn’t kept in particular contact over the years, but we made sure to set aside a few minutes for as much conversation as was permitted by the dance music blasting over the loudspeakers.…
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Help Your Kids Avoid Porn: Don’t Treat Them the Same
You don’t necessarily want to treat all children the same when it comes to helping them avoid pornography. This may sound counterintuitive, but it is true. Any parent with multiple children knows the parenting style that works best for one child does not necessarily produce the same results in another.…
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10 Gospel-Centered Accountability Principles (or, How a Puritan Might Run an Accountability Group)
Updated May 2022 How do we slay the power of sin in us? What means has God given us to destroy sinful lusts? Too often we look for the answer to that question on a vertical plane only: we expect sin-killing power to flow through prayer, fasting, Scripture meditation, or some…
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The Mortification of Sin (Part 14 of 15)
I’ve met more than my fair share of Christians who have played “Bible roulette.” Treating the Bible more or less like a lucky deck of cards, they flip through the pages and throw their finger down on a random text they hope will supply them an answer or a sense…
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Tough Love for Your Unrepentant, Porn-Using Husband
“There’s nothing I can do. As a Christian I’m obligated to simply ‘forgive and forget,’ and just move on.” “I can’t set boundaries with him. I’m not his mom!” “I’m completely alone. And I have to deal with it alone, since telling anyone would dishonor my husband.” “Well, this is…
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Musings on Prince Caspian, Faith, and Changing the World
“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” comes out this weekend in theaters. It’s been nearly 60 years since the CS Lewis classic was published. I thought it might be fitting, before I go see the film, to reflect on one of the rich ideas found in the tale of Caspian:…
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Indecent Exposure: 7 Steps to Winning the Sexual Battle of the Next Generation
Tears poured down her face, as we embraced. My wife, Donalyn, whispered to me through her pain, “It is so wrong, and so easy. What if our grandbabies ever saw that?” Saw what? Two things led to her reaction. First, we had just watched “Sext Up Kids,” a CBC Documentary…
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What Your Sexual Fantasies (Might) Say About You
For too long, the evangelical community has treated sexual fantasies and sexual struggles as something to condemn. Addressing sexual fantasies through the lens of abhorrent behavior intensifies shame and therefore deepens your involvement in the very behavior you wish to stop. There is another approach. It begins by listening to…
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Guarding Kids in a Sexualized Culture
Janeen has an infectious smile. It shines on the soccer field or when she plays piano. But when this 12-year-old honor roll student’s grades began to slide, her mom began to dig for answers and discovered her daughter engrossed in Internet pornography. Therapist Richard Blankenship (who changed Janeen’s name for…