Ask any counselor, psychologist, or therapist, and they will all agree that accountability is essential to lasting freedom from pornography. But what, after all, is accountability? And why is it so important to recovery and healing? In the minds of many, accountability should harness the power of fear and shame to motivate change. Put another way, the person being held accountable is driven to change their behavior because they are deeply afraid of their faults being revealed and of being condemned for them. In this way of thinking, fear drives recovery—fear of the searing pain of being ultimately rejected for … Continue reading →
In the previous posts in this series, we’ve looked at the epidemic of loneliness plaguing our culture, its causes, and its relation to pornography addiction. And truthfully, it hasn’t always been pleasant reading. Diagnosing a problem rarely is. Yet, despite the increasing social isolation many of us experience, there is hope. We can overcome loneliness by cultivating meaningful relationships and, in doing so, overcome the power of pornography. As addiction researcher Johann Hari put it in his now famous TED talk, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” Connection to real people and investing … Continue reading →
In the previous two posts of this series, we discussed the epidemic of loneliness, and how social isolation affects millions in America. We looked at the mounting body of research demonstrating how our isolation can have serious emotional and physical consequences and, in some extreme cases, can even be deadly. We also examined some of the key causes of our loneliness, including the rise of isolating technologies, commuter culture, and lack of community involvement. But by now, you may be wondering what loneliness has to do with pornography—and more specifically how social isolation fuels porn use. It’s a fair question, … Continue reading →
The Andy Griffith Show is a classic American sitcom about a widower sheriff and his young son who live in the small, idyllic town of Mayberry, North Carolina. The show focuses on the colorful residents of Mayberry and their humorous antics. Characters like Barney Fife, Gomer Pyle, and Ernest T. Bass are hilarious and unforgettable. For better or worse, everyone knows everyone in this town, and when someone gets into trouble, word spreads like wildfire through the neighborhood grapevine. The close-knit nature of the town provides ample fodder for comical situations, but there are plenty of touching moments where neighbors … Continue reading →
As a young college student, I received an opportunity to participate in a pastoral internship at an inner-city church in a neighboring state. After arrival and a brief orientation, I was left on my own to settle in. I had a few hours to kill, so I drove around town and finally decided to stop at a local steakhouse to eat. I was greeted by a roar of conversation as I entered the restaurant. Countless happy families, couples, and groups of friends smiled and laughed as they enjoyed their meals. There was nothing unusual about this—it’s a typical scene at … Continue reading →