Restored Vows

Day 14: You’re Not Done Yet

Today is the last day of Restored Vows… but your journey as a couple continues. Today Brandon and Tonia reminded you both of a few lessons you’ve learned over the last two weeks.

First, remember to start and end your day in prayer—both of you. Keep your hearts and minds aligned with Christ Jesus. Wives, you need to rely on Jesus for your support. Husbands, the Word of God is your sword and shield. He is your armor and weapon in the fight against pornography and sexual temptation.

Second, claim your identities in Christ: beloved daughters and sons, fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (literally and metaphorically). In that identity, surrender your pain and your struggles to your loving Father.

Third, get counseling. It’s not a sign of weakness to admit that you need help. Remember, you both can benefit from it—to heal from trauma, and to break addictions.

Finally, reach out for support. Wives, find a group of trusted friends who can help bear your emotional burden. The object isn’t to bash your husband, but to listen to you and support and comfort you. You can also join a community like Braveful, which is for wives undergoing betrayal trauma. Husbands, join a recovery group like Pure Desire for support from a community of men going through the same things you are. And pick an ally and sign up for Covenant Eyes. Your friend will be able to use your device activity to help you identify potential triggers that drive you to porn and encourage you in forming positive habits.

Remember: we’re here for you! We highly recommend that you follow us online and subscribe to our blog for ongoing information and support about achieving lasting freedom and recovering from the sting of betrayal.

May God’s grace and peace rest upon you both!

To Discuss:

  • How were the past 14 days for the two of you? What did you learn about each other? What were some key takeaways?
  • Read Psalm 30. How can you apply this to your hopes for your marriage? How have you already seen God starting to turn your mourning into dancing?
  • There is still time to sign up for the free trial of Covenant Eyes accountability software. Will today be that day for you? Help begin the process of rebuilding trust and finding healing through this simple yet important step. Click here to begin that journey.

Psalm 30 (CSB)

A psalm; a dedication song for the house. Of David.

I will exalt you, Lord,
because you have lifted me up
and have not allowed my enemies
to triumph over me.
Lord my God,
I cried to you for help, and you healed me.
Lord, you brought me up from Sheol;
you spared me from among those
going down to the Pit.

Sing to the Lord, you his faithful ones,
and praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor, a lifetime.
Weeping may stay overnight,
but there is joy in the morning.

When I was secure, I said,
“I will never be shaken.”
Lord, when you showed your favor,
you made me stand like a strong mountain;
when you hid your face, I was terrified.
Lord, I called to you;
I sought favor from my Lord:
“What gain is there in my death,
if I go down to the Pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your truth?
Lord, listen and be gracious to me;
Lord, be my helper.”

You turned my lament into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
so that I can sing to you and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever.