Kody and Ben have been friends for almost 10 years. They have what most would call a “normal” friendship—hanging out on the weekends, walking through life’s challenges together, and even working at the same company!
But, here’s one other thing about Kody and Ben’s friendship that you might not expect: they keep each other accountable when it comes to saying no to porn.
To further explain, let me first start by telling you a bit of their story.
Growing up, Kody attended church regularly with his family. His parents encouraged him to use Covenant Eyes as a method of accountability, and so he did. However, as Kody approached his teen and college years (what he likes to call his “rebellious stage”), he developed a problem with pornography. When he moved out of the house, he no longer had the security of Covenant Eyes that his family had put into place for so many years.
This increasing struggle with porn made Kody realize that he needed Covenant Eyes back in his life, even though he was no longer living at home.
Ben’s story is similar. Around the age of 12, he was sleeping over at a friend’s house, and this friend showed him porn. Ben’s parents had always tried to protect him and make sure all precautions were in place to avoid porn, but as many know, it’s not a matter of if we see porn, but when.
Ben struggled with porn for many years after that first night his friend introduced him to it. It took a long time for him and his parents to come to the agreement that Ben needed additional accountability. Keeping the computer in an open space just wasn’t enough.
So, as a late teenager, Ben joined Covenant Eyes. His struggles didn’t immediately disappear, but the accountability did make a difference in his online habits.
Friends and Allies…
Around the same time that they were both struggling to find freedom from porn, Kody and Ben joined the same men’s group at the church they attended. They were encouraged to consistently use Covenant Eyes, rather than just on and off when they were struggling. It was in this men’s group that Kody and Ben became each other’s allies. Even when the group eventually fizzled out, the two remained allies.
Related: 10 Steps to Finding a Great Ally
When speaking about his early experience with Ben as his ally, Kody says, “The thing that made me really okay with the decision [to be allies] is that it doesn’t matter what they think. If they’re a good enough friend to see my report and accept me for who I am, that means they’re a true friend.”
Ben knows that porn is seen as a taboo topic in the religious world. But, he also knows that if there is someone invested in his life whom he can talk to on a daily basis (aka, Kody!), he will feel less ashamed about his struggles and more likely to reach out for help.
Together, Kody and Ben have been able to turn their struggles into a witness to others, and their friendship has been strengthened all the more because of this,
Today, Kody and Ben are still holding each other accountable, but they also now both work for the same company that has helped guide them away from porn these past few years! As Covenant Eyes employees, these two friends not only fight porn themselves, but they get to help others fight it!
Before working for Covenant Eyes, Kody and Ben both came from harsh work environments. Kody recalls his coworkers watching porn while at work, and he found this to be a huge struggle for him as he tried to fight temptation. When he heard from some friends that Covenant Eyes was hiring, he decided to apply. The job was outside of his field of experience, but he had heard much positive feedback about working for Covenant Eyes.
Ben’s situation was similar, and he also submitted an application. The two were hired in at the same time, and they soon realized just how much better the culture and atmosphere were at Covenant Eyes compared to their prior jobs. Every day, they get to hear the life-changing stories of men and women around the world who have struggled with porn and are now on the road to recovery.
Together, Kody and Ben are working hard to fight against porn, both in their own lives and the lives of those invested in Covenant Eyes.