About the author, Coach Laura

Coach Laura is a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach, trained by The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). Her interest in coaching Betrayal Trauma survivors began in the aftermath of her own traumatic betrayal when it became clear that many professionals “just didn’t get it.” Laura is familiar with the physical, emotional, and mental pain the accompanies betrayal trauma and she is passionate about walking this journey alongside others, in hopes that no woman ever again has to walk this path alone.

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Porn and Your Husband

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Did you catch your husband watching porn? Learn the answers to common questions, tips to productive conversations, steps to setting boundaries, and how to determine the next steps for your marriage.

4 thoughts on “Can Couples Therapy Fix Our Relationship?

  1. YES! CSATs need to stay “on their side of the road” with the SAs. It’s been 9 yrs since my husband started recovery — but I will never forget trying to argue with his CSAT that “couples therapy” was not helping …

    • Yes, couple’s therapy will not be useful until the addict is in good, solid recovery and is able to attend to the emotional support of the spouse. If that never happens, I question the reality of recovery.

  2. Laura you hit it out of the ballpark with this article. I can testify that I experienced ptsd in finding out my husband of 35 years was a sex addict! The sex addiction counselor we were seeing treated my husband and left me hanging out to dry. It was a very hurtful, confusing time for me as I felt beat up after these counseling sessions week after week. My husband’s reaction to the counselor was met with disbelief. I can say that this set me back in my recovery process but God was faithful and brought us a wonderful counselor later on who helped us both. After attending numerous weekly meetings with LIFE and SAnon for over four years, I can testify that working on oneself FIRST before seeking couples counseling is totally necessary as you mentioned. It took me awhile for to figure this out: how can we recover as a couple when we need to heal ourselves. I needed to get help for my ptsd, understand my how my family back ground and Christianity played into my tolerance in this marriage, learn how to communicate, set boundaries, and self-care, deal with denial, be honest and own my issues before intimacy could be restored. Yes it is a long but rewarding process if you work at it and it is work! I also agree that I had to see ACTION from my husband before I was able to do anything “couple “. I am happy to say that my husband is working very hard on his recovery and that is a miracle in itself after being held in bondage for over 50 years in sex addiction.

    • Cathy, thanks for sharing this vitally important, real-life information about how recovery works in the real world!

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