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Talking to My Son About Masturbation

Last Updated: July 29, 2021

Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Christian Counselor Brad Hambrick talks to parents about the thorny subject of masturbation. Many moms and dads are asking, “Should I be talking to my son about masturbation? How should I do this?”

  • Comments on: Talking to My Son About Masturbation
    1. Shannon on

      Just wanted to thank you for your blog. My son is approaching that age, and I’ve been unsure of when I should talk with him, or what to say. Thanks!

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Shannon. I’m glad you’re finding good information here.

    2. Distressed Mom on

      Thank you so much for helping God’s work in training, supporting, teaching and encouraging parents in the raising up of our kids and protecting us/them (our children) from this terrible disease that people like myself am so distressed about and is poisoning generations and family units. May God richly bless you and all those doing the work of God.

      Reply
    3. Distressed Mom on

      Correction: I didn’t mean to say ‘masturbation’ is a disease though it can be depending on where it leads one – through constant practice.,..which could lead to porn behavior. Pornography being the disease.

      Reply
    4. Megan on

      Great information! I am a mom so my question is as boys go through puberty they begin to notice a random erection or waking with one.. What can we tell our son about this? As this can be awkward and embarrassing for him.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Teen boys don’t typically like talking about this stuff with Mom, but if you’ve fostered a good conversational relationship with him, it won’t be a big deal. Just make it sound really, really normal. I would probably not try to use an erection he currently has as a catalyst for conversation (“Hey son, do you know why that happens?”). I do that with my young boys, but not teens. Remember, by the time boys get to be teens, erections aren’t a new thing. By that time they’ve had thousands of erections from infancy. What’s new are the feelings of lust can can easily get triggered by erections. I would make these feeling the substance of your discussions, and you can briefly mention how having an erection can be a catalyst for him to start thinking sexual thoughts.

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