2 thoughts on ““I’m getting married, so I don’t need Internet Accountability anymore.”

  1. I appreciate this article, and know it to be true from other mens experience.

    But as an engaged Christian young guy who is waiting till marriage; I cant help but almost be frustrated by some of the assumptions here… :/
    Not that I think I shouldn’t use accountability. I know I should and indeed plan to with my soon to be wife.

    but I get frustrated by this strange fatalistic downer vibe/attitude I feel from other Christian men that just ASSUMES and EXPECTS inevitable failure….

    Do I HAVE to still struggle with porn when I’m married!???
    I’m pretty sure theres got to be SOME men out there who have never struggled with porn inside of their marriages who have walked this earth…..

    My fiance is ten TRILLIONS times hotter than any woman I have EVER SEEN online, or ever would see if I still gave in to porn…
    And I know she’ll get old, and bear children and her body change, but even then, why cant I be optimistic about being 100% faithful to her even with my mind and eyes!???

    I dont believe in sinless perfectionism…
    But doesn’t the word say we can completely kill and conquer sin in certain areas for good???…
    I get the vibe that all we ever hear about is all of these stupid heartbreaking failure stories of men falling, while the INCREDIBLE and TRUE stories of pure and complete freedom and victorious faithfulness in marriage goes unknown out of fear of boasting or pride!…

    Wheres the hope???

    Internet accountability is of coarse WISE, and I do plan to use it… but do we really need to say that its “NEEDED” ? Even when the Holy Spirit is fully capable of giving good holy marriages???

    • That is exactly the point, you’re right. It is wise. It is very wise. Internet accountability is never “needed” in the strictest sense, ever. It all depends how one defines need.

      The assumption here is that (a) the person has accountability in his life already and that Covenant Eyes has been serving him well so far, and (b) he is getting married now and thinks this safety net is no longer something he wants. The post hopefully deconstructs his thinking a bit and gets him to reconsider.

      You are absolutely right that there are plenty of men who don’t struggle with porn and never do. You are also absolutely right that men find freedom and never look back (and our blog is filled with stories like this). But those same men use Covenant Eyes and don’t somehow consider it a sign of inevitable doom. Rather the opposite. I hope that came out in some of the examples of freedom I mentioned above.

      My intention here was not to be fatalistic about sin, but to impress on engaged men the gravity of how sexual sin impacts their future wife.

      Bottom line: No, it is not inevitable that you will struggle with porn when you are married (just like its not inevitable that a man ever has to struggle with porn). But like some of the men quoted above, they don’t use Covenant Eye because of a present struggle, but because of the possibility of it.

      Hope that clarifies things.

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