11 thoughts on “My Drug & His Poison – My boyfriend was hooked on porn

  1. Tiffany,
    Thank you for your truthfulness in opening your heart on this crisis with “women in cages” as i refer to them in a haiku recently. I would like to share an art work with you from my next show in Albuquerque entitled, “SnapShots ABQ. – “Good Old Dr. Gomez” in which his high school daughter speaks about how “porn” has destroyed many marriages these days. Let me know how i can send this art work to you and G.A.P.

    God bless,
    Te’

  2. Te’,

    Thank you so much for your kind words on the post. Thank you for taking the time to leave your comment also. Isn’t that the truth, women on all sides, are in cages – those involved in pornography (a majority having been sexually abused as girls), and the women whose spouses/boyfriends are porn addicts – they also are in cages-due to the pain/grief/loss which keeps them there often. It is tragic across the board, but thankfully there is hope. We would love to receive your art work-would you please contact us here (http://www.girlsagainstporn.com/contact.php), and we will get in touch with you? Thank you & God Bless Te’, Tiffany

  3. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Clarifying all of my disputes with my boyfriend on this issue….you have basically went over everything I’ve said pre-reading. He doesn’t seem to believe me. My significant others addiction to porn has literally got me to the point of me not wanting to be here, I gave birth to his son- my second son a month ago and the 2nd day i was in the hospital he goes home to watch porn!!!!!!!!!!! I have been devastated by his ongoing weekly visits to porn sites or downloads. I know by reading also I need to examine myself and my faults in which I don’t deny having, along with losing my connection with the almighty. thank you for all you’ve done so far and for what your efforts are continuing to do!

  4. I really thought I was going crazy for a while and maybe I did. I could not figure out what was wrong with him. For years he did not shower and did not talk about sex. We had been together for over 5 years, when I discovered the porn! He hid it so well. For years I talked to friends, family and professionals on what I could do for his depression. He was depressed because he didn’t have easy access to porn. My children were around frequently and I became ill and couldn’t work for a while. When we redid the house, we opened up the office space. It was not a good time for him. He went and downloaded the porn to his cell phone. I knew I could not stay with him. He would do anything to get to porn! I now live with my daughters and so much of the pressure is off. I knew I could not help him, even though I did offer. I have not heard of porn addiction, but now have read about it more and more. It is a very sad addiction. I can’t imagine never having a full relationship with another human being. The girls and I feel sorry for him, and hope he gets the help he needs. Thank you so much for your website.

  5. My husband, I am not sure who he really is. At home he is a loving man, hard worker, gook father. But with the guys at work it use to be dirty jokes, filthy emails sent to eachother, going out drinking and to stripclubs, eating at places like Hooters. It is like he was two different people. About five years ago I prayed ferevently to God to help me. Ane He did. My husband has stopped all that behavior. But the pain has never left me, I like you want to help other women not to have to feel such deep wounds. Thanks for all you do.

  6. thank you for writing this article. Im a young lady-only twenty- and my boyfriend who im so in love with- stopped watching porn a few months back because it made me so upset. But I can’t forget it and it leaks into so many other things- only because I bring them up. I feel constantly insecure. And I also always feel like a scolding mother. We discuss marriage but I really feel as though i cant with him,although he has stopped, I can’t really forget. Your article helped though because maybe I should try harder to forget but this was exactly the type of thing I never wanted and im so distrusting now. But your article made me remember God loves me. Thank you. (:

  7. I have, from previous experiences in my life, become a horrible wreck at trusting people. So years later, I decided to trust God, myself, and one very kind and gentle man – and start a relationship.

    Pornography addiction isn’t something he ever hid from me – we avoid the topic, moreso me than him. He’s honest about it, confesses when it comes up in conversation – but only to me.

    At first, I thought, he’ll stop. It’ll be fine. He can quit. But two years into a dating relationship, it’s becoming too much pressure on me.

    Because, in my mind, pornography is cheating. He’s getting sexual gratification from another woman.
    And pretending that this cheating isn’t happening is getting to wreck havoc on my fragile nerves. I can’t trust him not to be cheating on me – and trust was already a very delicate issue to begin with.

    I’ve tried many things, hoping that certain behaviors of mine could inspire him to quit, but it’s not worked.

    It’s been difficult to find resources for girls who are dating guys with a porn addiction. I’m glad to have found the article and that I’m not alone in this battle. Currently your website is absent but I hope that it will be there soon.

  8. Dear Tiffany – Went to my computer tonight with a purpose – and maybe I have found it! I have been looking for some way to devote my life to preventing someone else from losing their loved one to this addiction. I lost my husband of 30 years to an almost lifelong pornography problem. I want to do something about this!! Please contact me if there are some ways that I can get involved. Thanks.

    • Dear Sandra,

      I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your marriage. This is the reality that so many women and spouses are facing today, and its just tragic. God always gives us a purpose through our loss though, so that others may be helped. We must continue to education, spread awareness, and be involved in efforts that fight this industry, so that others may not experience the same. Thank you for wanting to help. Please e-mail us at: girlsagainstporn (at) gmail.com, and we would love for you to be involved. Many Blessings to you, Tiffany

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