The 40 Day Challenge Part 3: Run With

Is destroying porn addiction possible? For many men and women, this habit runs so deep, our personal vows to stop seem worthless to us anymore.

The Bible sees a vital link between sexual sin and social shame. The apostle Paul said those whose lives are marked by sexual immorality and impurity commit these acts “in secret” (Ephesians 5:3,12). Paul likens this way of life as hiding in “darkness” (v.8, 11). Sexual sin seeks out dark corners to hide so its deeds are not exposed to God or to others (John 3:20).

The problem is not the sense of shame itself. Shame is the natural reaction when creatures created in the image of God and sin collide: something in our conscience recognizes we are failing in the eyes of our friends, family, the world, God—or even ourselves. Shame is meant to wake us up to the relational breaches caused by sin and push us toward restoration.

But that is not often what happens. Shame gets mixed with the false belief that we are too broken or too wicked for God to accept or change us—much less other people. So we hide.

Choosing Not to Hide

Destroying porn addiction starts when we choose to confront the shame we feel around it. We must choose to come out of hiding, confess our struggle with others, and build safeguards that prevent us from hiding ever again.

Porn thrives in the haven of anonymity; it is killed in the light of accountability.

Porn flourishes in the dark of secrecy; it is destroyed in the sunlight.

Step #1: Safeguard Your Devices from Secrecy

Technology has not only become the easiest access point for pornography, it is also the easiest place to hide. Thanks to WiFi and smartphones, you can view porn nearly anywhere at any time, and the risk of being seen has never been lower.

Install Covenant Eyes on every device you access for accountability. Your screen activity will be monitored and a report will then be sent to people you trust. By doing this, we counteract the temptation to hide, be dishonest about, or minimize our sin because of the shame we feel around it.

Step #2: Safeguard Your Heart from Toxic Shame

As we said already, shame is a normal response to sin. In fact, in the Bible, being shameless is a sign that something is seriously wrong—sinning in broad daylight is an indication of great hardheartedness. But shame becomes toxic when it is reinforced by the idea that we and our relationships are irreparable and irredeemable.

We can fight this belief by creating for ourselves a circle of friends where we fight this false belief together. These friends are not only ideal people to receive your reports, but people who will also hold you accountable for your tendency to hide in shame.

Here are some questions you can ask one another:

• In an effort to protect your image, have you been tempted to minimize, explain away, or hide the true face of your sin to me?
• Are you resting completely in what Christ has done for you—not obsessing about your failures or putting stock in your own performance?
• Are you resting in your identity as God’s beloved child, or do you feel more like a spiritual orphan that has to perform for God to love you?

Even more than accountability for our behavior, we must be accountable for our false beliefs that drive us into hiding. We must remind one another that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), that Christ has paid for our sins through His death (Hebrews 10:13).