Articles by Ella Hutchinson

Ella Hutchinson is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) who is passionate about advocating for partners of sex addicts by helping them to find their voice. She served for three years as a founding board member of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). Today, she proudly serves on the board of directors for the organization, Certified Sex Addiction Specialists-International (CSASI). Ella and her husband, Jeff, work together helping couples whose marriages have been invaded by sexual addiction.

God Turns Our Darkness Into Light, Even During a Pandemic.

Note from the author: When I first wrote this post, I was not thinking about Covenant Eyes. I was simply journaling my feelings. My paralyzed feeling wasn’t about my husband’s addiction, but my frustration and…

Toxic Shame Has No Place in Marriage Restoration

In this article I will use female pronouns for the betrayed spouse and male pronouns for the addict, because that is the focus of my work. Also, parts of this article focus on unique ways…

If You Love Her, Tell Her the Truth

Consistently, wives of sex addicts share with me how the lies and secrets their husbands keep from them hurt more than the sexual acting out itself. I asked a few of these wives the question,…

Therapeutic Disclosure: How It Can Help Your Marriage Heal

What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You Imagine you go to the doctor and learn that you might have cancer. You are sent home and told to come back next week to find out. You don’t…

How Long Will It Take My Spouse to Heal from My Betrayal?

In this article I will use the terms wife or she for the betrayed spouse because that is the focus of my work. However, the information applies regardless of whether the betrayer was the husband…

Fear of Vulnerability: An Intimacy Disorder or a Human Condition?

Last night as I watched one of my favorite TV shows I found myself doing something I know we all have done before. We’ve all yelled at the TV screen, saying something like, “Why don’t…

How to Tell If Your Husband Is Really in Recovery

When a women discovers she is married to a sex addict, all trust is lost. She feels she doesn’t even know the man who shares her bed. Her entire marriage may feel like a lie.…

6 Ways to Raise a Sex Addict

In my seven years of counseling sex addicts and their wives, I’ve seen some common themes amongst the sex addicts’ families of origin. I’d like to share them with you today. Here are six ways…

Why is my husband so angry? It all comes down to shame. (Part 2)

Read Part 1 of “Why is my husband so angry? It all comes down to shame.” As a female sex addiction therapist I feel I am at a significant disadvantage. Sex addicts often started out…
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