I am 38 and just celebrated two years of freedom from pornography addiction. Not just white-knuckled sobriety like I’ve had in the past, but actual, deep, soul freedom!
Two years ago, my core message was that I would always be a slave to porn to some degree and that best I could do was to try to avoid it as much as possible. I believed deep down that I would never truly break free. After using it for 25 years and failing to quit a thousand times or more, I had good reason to believe that!
A forced disclosure to my wife brought our world crashing in upon us. I was a single moment away from losing my marriage, my career, and putting my children through the hardships of divorce. I had finally hit rock bottom.
I finally reached out for help.
The Steps to Freedom
One of the first steps I took was to put Covenant Eyes on all my devices. This helped to establish some safety for my wife and me when we needed that desperately. I also joined a group dedicated to helping men break free from porn addiction. I also started therapy with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).
I read any book I could get my hands on regarding freedom from porn. I listened to audiobooks and podcasts on the same topic. I got a sponsor. I completed the full disclosure process with the help of a CSAT. I stopped telling lies to myself and my wife and others.
- I still attend weekly meetings.
- I still see a therapist.
- I still engage with the recovery community that helped me break free.
- I still read book after book.
- I still listen to dozens of podcasts.
Trading Lies for Truth
I used to do these things driven by fear but somewhere along the way my core values changed. I looked at myself and all the change I had experienced and realized something new about myself. I realized I am capable of real and lasting change with the help of God and others.
This was my NEW truth, and, in fact, it was the truth all along. I realized that all this time, I had exchanged the truth for a lie. Romans 1:25 says, “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen” (NIV). Through the help of God and others, I have now exchanged a lie for the truth.
I was a voracious consumer of pornography for many years, and no matter how much I consumed, it was never enough. Indeed, it can never be enough. I am 38 years old and I am free from pornography addiction. I invite you to join me, and Covenant Eyes is a great place to start.
I appreciate Jeffrey’s story to finding ever lasting freedom to Porn. With God everything is possible. I’m 37yrs old and still trying fight this bad porn habit and always lose. But with help from ARP & SA meetings, podcasts and books. I hope to find real recovery and sobriety.
Praise God! And Godspeed your recovery.