There’s a saying we use these days around BraveHearts and my wife Christine’s new ministry, The Braveful Society, that states “You’re just one brave decision away…”
For those of us who have unwittingly found ourselves on the battlefield of sexual integrity, whether it’s as a struggler or their spouse, this statement is especially true and relevant. Every day, we find ourselves facing many decisions. Some seem minor, while others could be life-changing. But most pit us against ourselves: will we make a brave decision, or a cowardly one?
Sounds pretty harsh, I know. But isn’t that what it often comes down to?
As if that isn’t enough to keep you up at night, the real power in this statement is found at the end, in the “…”
The “…” tells us what’s at stake. How you’re applying it. And what the real consequence of our actions might be. It’s where true courage emerges, or cowardly fear reigns supreme.
Try it on for size.
You’re just one brave decision away…
… from getting your life back.
… from saving your marriage.
… from living in freedom.
… from conquering your addiction.
… from setting healthy boundaries.
See, it’s pretty versatile, isn’t it? Now before you get too carried away, I want to give you–whether you’re a sexual struggler or their spouse–what I believe are four epic brave decisions that can save your…
… (you choice here).
Here they are, four brave decisions you can make starting today that can save your…
1) Get Educated
No, I’m not talking about going back to school to finish up that degree you started. I mean pursue and gain knowledge and godly wisdom about the things you don’t know about that are hurting you. Your betrayal trauma. His sexual addiction. The impact of porn use on the brain.
And don’t forget all of those how-to’s. Like how to restore trust. How to break lifelong compulsive habits. How to set and keep healthy boundaries. How to know if you suffer from betrayal trauma, and how to deal with emotional triggers.
This first one is BIG. It’s also one you can make a brave decision about today, by signing up for the Breaking Free Sexual Integrity Virtual Summit being held June 10-19. It’s a 10-day free online educational event presented by BraveHearts and sponsored by Covenant Eyes.
In the Summit, you’ll be able to learn from 45+ experts in sexual addiction and spouse recovery. These men and women have over 500 combined years of personal recovery and ministry experience. Talk about an education! I promise you you’ll learn a lot if you just show up and give it a listen.
Your brave decision: Get your free ticket. Then watch and learn from over 70 hours of impactful, life-changing interviews.
2) Get Help
There’s a saying we have in recovery circles: everyone needs help, and everyone has help to give.
But before you can give help, you need to get help. Because we all have blind spots, and garbage from our past, and habits and hang ups that get in the way of living life to the full.
If you find yourself struggling with the same old stuff, year in and year out, from one relationship to another, maybe, just maybe, it’s you.
Everyone struggles with the thought of asking someone else for help. Yet doing so seldom leaves a person stuck. Instead, you open yourself up to the opportunity to deal with what ails you, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. People who humble themselves enough to ask others for help are making a brave decision that shows how much they value their life.
Not sure where to turn to for help? We’ve got a solution for you. It’s the BraveHearts Recovery Directory, your trusted online source for specialists in sexual addiction and spouse recovery.
3) Get Connected
I’m sure you’ve heard it said before that we were created for relationships. But sometimes it can be hard to find safe people or a safe place to turn to, where like-hearted and like-minded people hang out.
Then again, moving out of the seemingly safe confines of isolation into community can fill us with fear and anxiety, especially if you’ve been burned before. Let’s face it. It takes courage to move into community when you’ve been hurt or are filled with guilt and shame.
That’s why we created two new online communities that operate like private social networks. Our common bond, besides our gender, is our like-hearted, like-minded pursuit of freedom found only on the road to brave.
For the men, we created the Mighty Men Network. It’s a safe place where men who struggle with habitual sexual sin can gather to get trained in recovery best practices. It’s also a place of encouragement, support and accountability. It’s where brave hearts connect.
For the women, there’s The Braveful Society. This is a safe place for women who struggle with everything from being the spouse of a sexually addicted man, to depression and anxiety, or body image issues, or just feeling stuck in life. Their motto: “Brave is the new beautiful.”
4) Get Braveful
Finally, I’m borrowing this last one from The Braveful Society. Because the biggest decision any of us have to make is what kind of person do we want to be.
Braveful or fearful.
Braveful or tearful.
Braveful or self-serving.
Braveful or regretful.
It’s your choice. It’s my choice. Decisions, big and small, that we make every day. Decisions that tell the story of our life, and show the twists and turns our journey has taken.
What about you? What kind of decision will you make today?
Regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in today, or the hole you’ve dug yourself into, don’t ever forget.
You’re just one brave decision away…Get Your Ticket to the Breaking Free Virtual Summit
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Great article, Michael! And I know you believe these things, because you live them : ) See you on betrayal trauma day of the Summit.