How does porn fit into a Christian’s life?
The short answer to this question is that they do not blend together. Porn is utter darkness and Jesus Christ is pure light. They are completely contrary.
I could stop right here and make this the shortest article on pornography ever written. However, this simple answer is weighty and carries with it an existential importance.
“I want to know how a pledged Christian who watches porn justifies or blends that with his or her relationship with God?” “How does porn fit into a Christian’s life?”
These are actual text messages I received. This is a common dilemma people find themselves in while attempting to reconcile their circumstances and marriages.
The Struggle Is Real
My recovery journey from a 30-year porn addiction began in March of 2003. As I grew in my relationship with Christ, this very question came kicking and screaming to the surface.
My old nature wanted to justify the use of porn, while my new identity in Christ convicted me of the truth–my lusting after pornographic images and masturbation all stood in opposition to truth. Matthew 5:28 says, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Biblical truths like this continue to transform me by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2).
I realized that I needed to change, and that opened doors to life transforming behaviors fueled by new thoughts centered on a right relationship with Jesus Christ. This did not happen overnight. This process was years in the making and still continues. I tripped and fell along the way, but I had friends encouraging me to stay the course and to get back up. Stay with it.
Related: Why Can’t I Stop Watching Porn: 3 Reasons It’s So Hard to Quit
Compare and Contrast
I could blither on all day about my thoughts on why our relationship with Christ Jesus and pornography don’t mix. I’ll spare you all that and present you what God, the Creator of the beautiful gift of sex, says about the subject and the connection to marriage.
Jesus is light. John 8:12 explains, “Then Jesus spoke to them again: “I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows Me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life.”
Sin is darkness. 1 John 1:6 states, “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.”
From Matthew 5:28, we know looking at a woman (or man) with lust in our hearts is sin. Sin is darkness, which Christ went to the cross to set us free from so we could walk with Him in the light of life.
The Bottom Line
Claiming pornography is a tool to enhance your marital sex life is still sin. It’s harmful and dishonoring to the wife God has given you. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her.”
No matter how much you struggle with pornography, God is willing and able to forgive. Jesus went to the cross to set the captives free. Galatians 5:1 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” We can place our trust and hope in Jesus Christ to be liberated from the yoke of pornography.
This verse alone demonstrates God’s love for us, regardless of our sin. No sin is big enough or strong enough to keep the loving sacrificial grace of God from reaching us. Our part is to confess and submit to the power of His healing grace.
Consider this statement: “Jesus is enough. My wife is enough. I have enough.”
Related: Can accountability really change a heart?
A Few Steps to Begin
If you find yourself addicted to porn and want to quit, know you’re not alone, and there’s hope.
- Confess your sin to God and a trusted friend–a friend who will love and not condemn you.
- Confess your struggle to your wife. It may be wise to do this in the company of a close friend or your pastor. (If you’ve not already done this.)
- Use an Screen Accountability software as another layer of protection and accountability. Make sure you are having the report sent to your accountability partner. This may be the very friend you’ve trusted with your confession.
- If your pornography use is interfering with your marriage, biblical counseling would be a wise action step to take. PureCommunity has a list of reputable counselors if you’re looking to take this step.
It’s been said a thousand times (or more) that the battle for freedom from pornography cannot be won in isolation. God tells us that, brothers are born for adversity. Seek a Christ following brother and engage him in the battle with you.
God truly desires you to be free. He sent His Son to the cross for your freedom. Trust Him and the process He’s given us to be set free.
Porn is a great hindrance to sex within marriage, and especially where your mind goes. It can even PREVENT a healthy sexual relationship with your wife, leaving you with the alternatives of purity but little arousal, or arousal with your mind full of inappropriate junk.
The sooner you work with God to deliver you from porn, the more likely you are to enjoy Him more, and also your wife should He choose to give you won.
I struggle with same sex attraction…being single and struggling with porn. I’ve only been saved since February this year! For me sex is completely out of the question…so I pray to God to fill me with other Godly things to replace the sex and porn! Not easy…I have to pray everyday! I’ll make it but it’s hard!
I can speak from personal experience about the internal and external damage porn brings. It is not just an expression of the physical, but a corruption of the spiritual. Thank God for grace.