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National Marriage Week: To be fully known, even online.

Last Updated: February 12, 2016

Amanda Zurface
Amanda Zurface

Amanda Zurface holds a license and MA in Canon Law and a BA in Catholic Theology and Social Justice. She has served in various roles within the Catholic Church, both in the United States and internationally. She is the co-author of Equipped: Smart Catholic Parenting in a Sexualized Culture and Transformed by Beauty, and works to equip Catholics with Covenant Eyes educational resources. She resides in Lexington, Ohio, where she also manages her own website that provides online spiritual direction and canon law consultation.

Everyone wants to be known, right? Or we could ask this question in a different way. Everyone wants to be loved, don’t we?

Married couple laughing

I think we would each respond, “Well, yes!” After all, that’s what every single day of my life is focused around. That is, loving my husband by being patient with him, sacrificing for my children to have a Christian education, spending time with my mother and father, grocery shopping for my elderly neighbor, taking my colleague at work out for lunch and so on. So, “Yes!”

We thirst to give love, and we also thirst for love. It’s what we are created for!  Our days are centered on giving and receiving love. It’s Scriptural, and it’s how God created us to be. It’s even a theology in and of itself.

Look at this “Theology of the Body” Infograph for a moment, it’s titled “The Pyramid of Intimacy” by Bill Donaghy of Theology of the Body Institute.

theology of the body pyramid
Drawn by Bill Donaghy

As you can see, it describes intimacy right under the main title as “into-me-see.”

Marital love thrives when there is a commitment to an openness of being known, to see into the spouse, and to know everything about that person.  This is an intense experience of intimacy, and intimacy comes down to one word: “Honesty.” Written in human hearts is a desire to be honest–honest about the meaning of marriage, and honest about the self in marriage… about everything.

Every spouse should be fully known by the other, even our lives online. The best way to do this is through an accountable relationship, best achieved online through a resource called Covenant Eyes. Here spouses receive Accountability Reports from each other which give a weekly overview of their Internet usage. Along with the marriage covenant, shared values, and the desire to support each other in their journey to heaven, accountability software can help married couples think more critically about how they use the web. Covenant Eyes bridges the gap between relationships and technology. In today’s Internet age, this is an indispensable support to married life and to being truly known by one another.

As National Marriage Week wraps up, I encourage you to take a step toward deeper intimacy with your spouse and open up about your online life.

For more information on the “Theology of the Body,” visit the Tabor Life Institute or for more resources to strengthen your marriage, or advice for dating and engaged couples, visit the USCCB’S For Your Marriage.