3 minute read

3 Secrets to Putting a Dagger in the Heart of Porn

Last Updated: September 21, 2015

Emma Joy

Emma Joy is a young adult who enjoys studying apologetic resources and learning about purity from a Biblical perspective. Her desire is that God would use her life and writings in a far reaching way to impact the lives of many. She writes about sexual sin and repentance (among other topics) on her personal blog.

For anyone who has felt the weight of addiction, the thought of being free is beyond liberating. We fail to realize though, that the depths of our addiction didn’t happen in one day, so similarly our full victory will not be instantaneous.

A history of mistakes made, sin willfully indulged in, consequences suffered, and lessons learned has taught me that freedom from the habits which bind us become ours through the daily choices we make. Being stubbornly diligent is required for us to grow in our pursuit of purity.

A Dagger in the Heart of Porn

3 Crucial Steps to Slaying Porn

Regardless of the depths of your addiction to the sin of pornography, there are a few steps you can daily apply that will better equip you to gain and walk in victory:

1. Saturate your mind with God’s word.

Make the time to read the Bible. The daily intake, memorization, application, and treasuring of it will prove to be life-changing.

As John Owen put it, “Holiness is nothing but the implanting, writing, and living out the gospel in our souls.” The Bible will renew our minds (Romans 12:2), purge and refine our desires, and correct wrong concepts we may have regarding sin, righteousness, purity, and choices. It will give us a new found appreciation for Christ and the sacrifice He made on behalf of us all, enable us to see sin through God’s perspective, and equip us to view others as people with inherent value made in the image of God (instead of vessels for our own selfish gain).

Devouring the truth of God is a habit worth forming; bringing undeniable transformation by effecting change at the heart level.

Elizabeth and Jim George said, “Nothing else in this world can renew our minds like the Bible, which is: a light to guide us, a rod to correct us, a staff to lead us, a mirror to reveal us, a banquet to feed us, and a rudder to steer us.”

2. Make wise choices.

If it is true that “what we are today is who we are becoming,” then what C.S. Lewis asserted is also true: “Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance.”

When it comes to the power of sin to entangle and snare, infiltrate, and distort, we would be wise to filter everything we dwell upon, watch, listen to, read, speak of, engage in, and cling to through the lens of Scripture. We can ask ourselves in the moment of temptation what consequences might result from even small choices we make and ways they could potentially harm us in grave ways in the near or distant future.

As John Owen said, “Temptation is like a knife, that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction.”

3. Educate yourself.

Along with the previous two steps, I have found it to be tremendously helpful to diligently study resources which address sexual sin from a thought-provoking and Biblical perspective.

Reading e-books, articles, and webinars by Covenant Eyes, and resources by other ministries such as XXXChurch will be an eye-opening experience as you begin to discover possible underlying causes and get to the root of the problem of what has enabled your addiction to continue and thrive. You may also read my blog where I write about various topics including sexual sin and purity.

If you would like to write to me personally with questions and comments or are in need of somebody who’s willing to further dialogue regarding addiction and steps to recovery, I would be so glad to hear from each of you. You can contact me through my blog or write to me through the social media links listed there. My heart’s desire is to warn and be of help to others because of my own experience with addiction and ways I have been transformed and restored.

While it’s true that we will never be sinless and battling our sinful nature won’t cease until our time on this earth is done, we may very well grow in sanctification by applying steps like those listed above. The recovery process requires time and daily attention, yet nonetheless, what is the alternative?

“The vigor and power and comfort of our spiritual life depends on our mortification of deeds of the flesh.” – John Owen

What is the most challenging aspect of your current strongholds? How can you begin implementing the steps presented here?

  • Comments on: 3 Secrets to Putting a Dagger in the Heart of Porn
    1. David on

      Thanks for this – if I could add another point – focus more on The Lord Jesus than yourself… I’ve always found (like Peter when he walked on the water with Christ, but then began to sink) that when I become more mindful of my sin and struggles rather than Christ – that’s when I begin to sink, and I lose sight of grace and God’s promises to complete what He began in me…
      Many thanks for your helpful ministry…
      D

      Reply
    2. Steve on

      Thanks for the article on “3 secrets”. In one of my 12 step recovery groups for porn we used to say you are only as sick as your secrets. I MUST have at least one person who knows everything about me. My 12 step group was so open and tight that I could tell EVERYTHING to the group. We never tried to fix each other but we learned from each other by hearing what another person was working on. For example, As a man I can no longer go to a woman for a medical massage. That is a boundary I have set up for myself. I stay away from check out number 3 at Target because a young lady is always showing too much cleavage. I usually know places and times during my week where I need to stay away lest my sexual interest is stirred toward someone other then my wife even if just in thought it is enough. Steve

      Reply
    3. Rick on

      Some very good recourses. Thank you for the encouragement.

      Reply
      • Matt on

        I’ve been clean of pornography now as a single mid twenties Christian man through doing exactly what this article suggests. I’m not perfect every day, but each day is an opportunity to get better through God’s grace and mercy. Seemingly the urges for pornography have left me, but I’m still battling with the habit of masturbation. Desiring to honor God and give no stronghold to the enemy, I’m beginning to apply the same principles for full restoration.

    4. JeremiahP on

      Thanks. This is good. I wonder what others think about seeking God to dwell with us and speak to us, guide us through our day. Is it really only through the scripture that God can speak? Doesn’t He bless us with His presence, which can strengthen us? It seems like this is the case at times for me, but not so much at other times. I would also say that there are times when I feel completely discouraged and depressed, and can understand why David thought that God was so far away, when that’s going on. Those have been triggers to failure in the past, especially when my spouse has been unkind; couple that together with just feeling that God is not near, and it makes me feel hopeless. I’ve been trying to persevere lately, but I just don’t want any more excuses for sin, and I’m trying to renew my thinking about everything, by being thankful even when I don’t feel it, by praising God when I feel like just asking “why?”, by praying for others when I feel like cursing them. I’m trying. Sometimes it’s difficult and I feel like I don’t know what God wants from me when everything is failing, no matter how well I’m clicking on all pistons.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        I don’t think the author is saying the Bible is the only means of revelation from God, but that the Bible is the best tool given to us by God to renew our minds.

        I think it important to remember that we experience God’s presence by faith. God’s presence with His people is one of the great blessings of the New Covenant, and we can trust that no matter how filthy we feel, that God’s forgiving love is still near because of the perfect obedience of Christ. He is our great High Priest. He has made the great and final sacrifice for sin. He has been raise from the dead to be our intercessor that never dies. He was brought to heaven to sit at the right hand of God—and we, through faith, are seated there with him. We experience these realities by faith.

        This is the kind of faith Abraham had who believed God in spite of the evidence around him—his body was as good as dead, and yet he believed God could bring life from it. This is the kind of faith we need to have, and it rest not in our ability to muster up faith, but in the incredible trustworthiness of God who has fulfilled all His promises in Christ.

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