For seven years, Thomas Umstattd, Jr. ran the website PracticalCourtship.com to encourage a national conversation to help the so-called “courtship model” work for more singles. He eventually became convinced that courtship wasn’t working for most people. He wrote the article “Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed” which went viral and then prompted him to dig deeper into the issue.
Thomas is now the author of the book, Courtship in Crisis: The Case for Traditional Dating. Today we talk to him about why he thinks modern courtship isn’t working.
1:23 – When did modern courtship begin and who were the big proponents of it?
2:40 – Are we facing a “singleness epidemic”?
4:05 – What is “traditional dating”?
6:00 – How did the social norms around dating change over time?
9:02 – What is the “fundamental flaw” of courtship?
10:48 – One of the marks of modern courtship is exclusivity. What does this look like?
17:50 – Another mark of modern courtship is doing things “for the purpose of marriage.” What does this dynamic look like?
19:51 – Another mark of modern courtship is a premium on parental control. What does this look like?
22:28 – Another mark of modern courtship is the importance of high accountability. How is this practiced?
25:36 – Another mark of modern courtship is an emphasis on “purity rules.” What kind of rules?
28:11 – Another mark of modern courtship is its intentionality and intensity. What does this mean?
31:08 – Another mark of modern courtship is the requirement of “marital readiness.” What is this?
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Leave a comment: How do you define “courtship”? What do you like about it? What do you hate about it? What’s your experience with it?