Rebuild Your Marriage smiling couple
Rebuild Your Marriage 2 minute read

Why I’m Beautiful Enough for My Spouse

Last Updated: August 11, 2015

Who hasn’t struggled with self-image? Male or female; thin or overweight; athletic or devoted couch potato. Most of us have had doubts about our own attractiveness. This doubt can be exponentially intensified when we have a spouse who watches or has watched pornography.

“Am I sexy enough for him/her?” you might ask.

I'm beautiful enough for my spouse

His (or her) pornography use is a departure from what God intended for your marriage as husband or wife. Lust, objectifying other people, and having unfaithful thoughts are perversions of love, marriage and true beauty.

Marriage has so much more to offer than any sort of fantasies that the pornography industry can conjure up. And while attraction is a great part of being married, there are so many other rich gifts that marriage can provide.

I am beautiful enough for my spouse, because:

  1. God created me for another: When he created Adam, He said it was not good for Adam to be alone. So, God created Eve. From the beginning, a communion between spouses has been fundamental to who we are.
  2. Husband and wife become one flesh: No pornography, no fantasy can ever live up to the union that occurs when spouses join together, renewing a covenant that only spouses share.
  3. Spouses are “naked without shame”: Pope John Paul II famously uses this phrase to describe sexual unions between husband and wife. Unlike when Adam and Eve hid naked in the garden from God or when spouses hide their pornography use, the nakedness of husband and wife is beautiful, rather than shameful.
  4. We are gifts to one another: Only in marriage—where we have promised to be faithful and fruitful—can we truly give of ourselves sexually. It is here, in this free and loving bond, that husband and wife continually give of themselves, sexually in the flesh as a sign of their commitment to each other, day in and day out.
  5. Our love is greater than the two of us: When I live out my marriage vows to love and cherish my husband, and he does the same, we are engaging in something much more rewarding than just sex. We are growing in our ability to love others. Many spouses will tell you that the richer their marriage lives are, the more they are able to give of themselves to others in their families and wider community.

While each of us can fail sometimes to see the beauty of our husband or our wife, it is there. And this beauty isn’t dependent on whether someone put on 10lbs this year or hasn’t been getting enough push-ups in. Our spouses hold an attraction more captivating than lust, more fulfilling than a sexy image in our heads—they offer the key to a life richer in love, generosity and commitment to one another.

Comments on: Why I’m Beautiful Enough for My Spouse
  1. 1whocausedhurt

    Can’t understand why there’s no comments on this. This is beautifully stated. I couldn’t have said it better.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Rebuild Your Marriage

Editor's Picks

Phil Robertson discussing The Blind with Covenant Eyes.

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Reasons You Should Watch “The Blind”

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A mother with her teenage daughters.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How Porn Shattered My Life: A Betrayed Partner’s Perspective

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A picture of Dave and Ashley Willis.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Porn Counterfeits Naked Marriage: With Dave and Ashley Willis

What is “naked marriage” all about? We sat down with popular podcasters…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Words of Wisdom From Al and Lisa Robertson

What does the famous Duck Dynasty Clan have to say to Covenant…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A couple sitting on a porch balcony.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Why Boundaries in Porn Recovery Are Challenging

“To the extent that we can’t control something we don’t like, we…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

calm looking man embracing his wife

Rebuild Your Marriage

Can the Husband of a Porn Addict Experience Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma affects many people, especially the spouses of porn addicts. We…

8 minute read

Read Post

Related in Rebuild Your Marriage

Phil Robertson discussing The Blind with Covenant Eyes.

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Reasons You Should Watch “The Blind”

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the…

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the heart of Louisiana to meet with Phil and Kay Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame, and to talk about their new movie, The Blind.…

4 minute read

0 comments

A mother with her teenage daughters.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How Porn Shattered My Life: A Betrayed Partner’s Perspective

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending…

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending life group and sending our girls to a Christian school to help raise them in the ways of the Lord. I thought pornography…

5 minute read

0 comments

A picture of Dave and Ashley Willis.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Porn Counterfeits Naked Marriage: With Dave and Ashley Willis

What is “naked marriage” all about? We sat down with popular podcasters…

What is “naked marriage” all about? We sat down with popular podcasters Dave and Ashley Willis to find out, and we learned an important message about God’s design for sex and how porn counterfeits it.…

3 minute read

0 comments

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Words of Wisdom From Al and Lisa Robertson

What does the famous Duck Dynasty Clan have to say to Covenant…

What does the famous Duck Dynasty Clan have to say to Covenant Eyes? We wanted to know, so our podcast team sat down with Al and Lisa Robertson to talk about their shows and other…

3 minute read

0 comments

A couple sitting on a porch balcony.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Why Boundaries in Porn Recovery Are Challenging

“To the extent that we can’t control something we don’t like, we…

“To the extent that we can’t control something we don’t like, we fear it.” – John Z., Grace in Addiction Early recovery is monumentally difficult. Not only are porn addicts trying to achieve sobriety, but…

4 minute read

3 comments

calm looking man embracing his wife

Rebuild Your Marriage

Can the Husband of a Porn Addict Experience Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma affects many people, especially the spouses of porn addicts. We…

Betrayal trauma affects many people, especially the spouses of porn addicts. We hear much about the betrayal trauma experienced by wives. Entire ministries have been organized to support wives of those struggling with pornography. But…

8 minute read

0 comments