It is estimated 25% of Millennials will never get married. In fact, the chances of never getting married are higher now than ever before. In the face of such fantastically optimistic statistics, more and more people are dishing out dating advice to singles.
|What you say||What a single person thinks|
|You will meet someone when you least expect it.||Exactly how is this supposed to help me? How can I try to expect something less, unless I forget about it entirely? And if that’s the answer, then why are you reminding me by bringing it up? If you’re right, haven’t you just set me back at least a couple weeks by making my singleness a topic of conversation?|
|We want grandbabies!||Thanks. So glad to know my reproductive organs exist for your multi-generational sense of fulfillment.|
|God has the perfect match for you.||Your prophetic abilities are astounding. Good to know God has a match for everybody. Too bad guys like John the Baptist, Elijah, Daniel, Jeremiah, and Paul didn’t get that memo.|
|If I was a girl/guy I would totally date you.||Perfect. Good to know I can land myself a date in the magical gender-swap universe.|
|There’s plenty of fish in the sea.||If by “fish” you mean human beings, I was aware of this already. There’s well over seven billion of us. Thanks for the reminder that despite the surplus population, I still haven’t found a date. Cheers.|
|My friend didn’t get married until she was 50, so you still have time.||You know what, you’re awesome. I was hoping to get married around menopause.|
What to Say Instead
If you’re one of these well-meaning people, you may be thinking, “Great, now I feel bad.” But there’s good news: you don’t need to walk on egg shells around your single friends! Here’s a list of easy-to-remember words and phrases to start saying instead:
- “How are you?”
- “Want to hang out sometime?”
- “Is there anything I can pray about for you?”
- “You’re awesome!”
- Don’t say anything about their singleness at all. Just listen.
Singles, We Know You’re More Than Single
The real problem with these clichés, is that, as well-intentioned as many of them are, they sometimes come across as hurtful or offensive. Instead of easing the loneliness or bitterness, they may even make these feelings worse…and drive singles into compulsive behaviors, like binge-eating or porn.
We recently released a new book, More Than Single: Finding Purpose Beyond Porn, about helping singles break free from lust and pornography and find joy.