Episode 143
[powerpress]
Recent surveys indicate 63% of Millennial men (18-30 years old) view porn at least several times a week; 21% of women the same age say the same about their porn use. With so much porn being consumed so readily, pornography has become the norm. How do college students who want to remain pure take a stand?
This week’s podcast features five college students who have been enslaved to porn, some from before their teenage years. They speak with us about their experiences and what has helped them the most to break free.
Show Notes:
1:39 – Zach’s story: Porn came looking for me in 4th grade.
7:33 – Carly’s story: My boyfriend introduced me to porn.
10:57 – Mayana’s story: I wasn’t just addicted. I was isolated.
14:46 – Mickey’s story: Because of porn, sex was scary.
18:15 – Sean’ story: My life spiraled out of control.
The church in America is dying in part because we have neither been repentant for our sin–especially sexual sin–but also unbiblical doctrine, lack of reverence for God, and apathy/cowardice in standing firmly for the truth. That’s being increasingly tested as believers are now common targets in our culture. God has a way of saying “enough is enough”, and persecution is that remedy.
Like Luke said, we *must* talk about sexuality as God designed it to be; but not just in our homes–it needs to propagate from every pulpit that names the name of Christ. We also need to honestly and transparently clarify and communicate our biblical roles as men and women (a lot of natural, God-given differences and misconceptions between genders too), because both genders have long been swallowing a whole bunch of lies that our media and culture have been shoving down our throat. Men and women feel devalued; women feel inadequate as they are treated like sex objects, and men feel like we’re looked at by women as incapable idiots/simpletons/perverts (watch five minutes of “Everyone Loves Raymond” if you need an example; then turn it off).
So, yes; porn is a serious issue, but there are many more very sobering issues that also need to be addressed, and from what I see (outside of the internet) communication continues to be stifled; not opened up.
I half agree with you. I will go paragraph by paragraph.
I completely disagree with you about why the church is failing. It has nothing to do with repenting. It has everything to do with churches being a place of hypocrisy and finger pointing. The church beats people into the ground with guilt. Everything is a sin. Especially, in protestant America, where fire and brimstone is spoken from the pulpits. Then, on top of that there is tremendous amounts of suffering in this country and the world. People are not seeing God at all. He is absent. Here is what people know. They didn’t ask to be born. Then, they are born into a world of suffering. Then, they are told they are always sinning. Then, they are told they are going to hell for their sins even though they didn’t ask to be born in this hellish existence in the first place. Hate to tell you, but you are not going to attract or keep many followers with that nonsense. That Greg is the blunt and basic reality and most Christians are too short-sighted to see it. A person logically asks the question: Why am I going to hell for making love to a person I Iove? What is so sinful about that? Maybe the real sins are those where we don’t feed the hungry or help the poor. Maybe the real sin is that America has 1/3 of the world’s prisoners and we lock people in cages that we work to free animals from. Maybe the real sin is America going to war very year for the past 30 years. If that is the sins you are talking about repenting for, then I would agree. Me sleeping with the woman I am dating and adoring — sorry but that is not a sin. The fact that Texas wants to sentence a 20 year man to life in prison for pot brownies — that is a sin. If you doubt this I challenge you to do this: go sleep with the woman you love and then go lock yourself in prison and become a felon for life —– compare what does the most damage to a human soul. Frankly, Christians are the largest group of people that actually fail to do what Christ says and people see this hypocrisy.
I can agree with you about your second paragraph. But I will argue that women portray themselves as sex objects. You have tens of millions of women pushing sex in this world. Women do it to themselves. No one is putting a gun to a woman’s head and telling her to be a webcam girl from the comfort of her own home. No, she is doing that to herself. Furthermore, feminists have brainwashed women from the age of 5 to believe they are victims. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Feminists have also branded guys as morons who just can’t survive without a woman setting them straight. We built empires and yet, in 2015, it seems we can’t manage to do anything right and of course, all the problems of women are our fault. But in general, I agree with your second paragraph.
I completely agree with your third paragraph. In fact, you hit upon the vehicle that will cripple our society. The internet and access to data about people, will enslave people. Our country will be the first. The mark of the beast — the internet. People have no idea what is coming —- none. I work in that arena and believe me, people are clueless. Then, the internet is a vehicle by which hate festers. The hate on the internet is massive. Our technology is going to lead to our collapse much quicker than that of Rome. I guarantee it.
Maybe if America did not make sex so taboo these kids would not feel so guilty about porn. It is an issue because America is so prudish. We make it an issue. Guilt people into it being an issue. I guess Christians want to link porn use to the failed family unit in America, but we kid ourselves. Finances cause the most divorces in America. Several studies like the one at Kansas State show this clearly. Also, feminism has destroyed the family on both ends. One from the divorce side and the other from the abortion side. I also don’t agree with the low number of women watching porn. We discount the fact they are the majority of people doing the porn. Which of course is the same as watching it because they are doing it.
You know what the biggest problem really is? Men and women hate each other more than ever now. The internet is filled with hate. Divorce courts create hate. Heck, divorce is an industry. Men are blamed for everything, which of course ticks them off and that makes them not care anymore. Feminism has made women out to be victims of everything and women are listening and because of this they are never held responsible for anything. People see this hypocrisy, which of course leads to more anger between the sexes.
What covenant eyes needs to do is create a section not about porn. Not pointing fingers. A section dedicated to bringing men and women together. You do that and porn won’t matter. Porn gets old after a while anyway. Porn usage is just a symptom. That is all. Nothing but a symptom.
I don’t disagree that porn is unnecessarily taboo. I just think it is taboo for the wrong reasons and expressed in the wrong way.
When it comes to kids using porn, they often start using it because they are curious about sex; they continue using it because they enjoy the erotically charged fantasy world it supplies them. I don’t think porn use in these cases is the heart of the problem—though it does present a serious mental health concern that needs to be addressed. I think the heart of the problem is (1) a lack of honest conversation in families about healthy sexuality, and (2) the hurts children experience that make that sinful “escape” into porn such an attractive option.
When I talk to teens who don’t experience a demonstrative temptation when it comes to porn—even if it is something they’ve dabbled in from time to time—the common denominator I see is their identity and security is anchored in something rich and meaningful. For some, it is a deep and abiding connection to God. For others, they grew up in a family system where home was their refuge, not the place they needed refuge from. For some, they have such a strong vision for the kind of men or women they want to become, and they know selfish solo-sex isn’t helping them get there.
As these interviews show, many of these college students find freedom from enslaving habits when the taboo is gone and they find communities of people with whom they can be honest and find help. I hope that is the message that comes through.