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Ex-Porn Producer Exposes Myths People Believe About Porn

Last Updated: August 5, 2020

Matt Fradd

Matt Fradd is the author of Delivered: True Stories of Men and Woman Who Turned from Porn to Purity. After experiencing a profound conversion at World Youth Day in Rome in 2000, Matt has worked through full-time lay ministry in Australia, Ireland, Canada, and Texas. He has served as an apologist for Catholic Answers and has traveled all over the world, speaking to tens of thousands of teens and young adults. He and his wife Cameron have four children and live in North Georgia.

Updated as of August, 2020: The following is an excerpt from an ebook that is no longer in circulation. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused and encourage you to instead download Your Brain on Porn.


Matt: I know your story is a long one, and we will probably get into it during the course of this conversation. But you left the industry. What was the breaking point or what was it that made you get out?

Donny: You know, I was really motivated by hatred towards God and towards Christianity, and a missionary group came into the pornography conventions that we had every year in Las Vegas, and over the course of 4 years really broke down my hatred. And once that hatred was gone, I couldn’t justify what I was doing anymore, and I had to finally cry out to God.

Matt: It’s interesting. I remember you mentioning to me that Playboy made you a certain offer the day you decided to quit. What was that about?

Donny: Yeah, on the day I got out of porn, Playboy offered me an additional $4000.00 a day to shoot a new lesbian reality series for them. And it was a day when I had to decide, “Am I going to get even deeper than I already am into this or am I going to leave?”

And over the course of the previous 4 years, as I said, this hatred of God was breaking down, and I had even began talking to God again. I had to make a decision that day. I felt his presence very powerfully in the car after I prayed, and I just had to get out. I just lost all desire to produce on that day. On that drive back to my house from their offices—it’s about a two-and-a-half hour drive—I really felt him touch me. I really felt his presence and his touch, and once I felt that, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t pick up a camera again after that day.

Porn Star Stats

Myth #1: Porn Is Morally Neutral

Matt: Let’s begin going through the list of these myths that I think many of us may believe and certainly I imagine the porn industry wants us to believe. The first is that pornography is morally neutral. Someone might make the argument, “Look, pornography is like a gun. A gun is morally neutral, but place in the hands of someone who is irresponsible, it might become dangerous.” I think when we are confronted with this objection, it’s important that we distinguish between what I like to call the motivational and consequential reasons pornography is wrong, and the foundational reasons pornography is wrong. Let me tell you what I mean. A motivational reason why people often say pornography is wrong is, “Look, a lot of women in the industry may have been abused as little children.” What’s a consequential reason? The consequences of pornography: “It’s addictive,” or “A lot of the women in the industry are addicted to drugs and drink,” or “It contributes to a lot of divorce.”

I think what’s important that we distinguish is pornography isn’t essentially wrong because of those reasons. I would say the foundational reason pornography is wrong is that it removes the sexuality from its natural context. It removes sexuality from outside of the intimacy of the partners and turns it into a commodity, something to be bought and sold.

Donny: Well absolutely, and in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes about this and he says there is more to sex than just skin on skin. He calls sex just as much as a spiritual mystery as a physical fact. It’s the two becoming one. He says, since you want to become spiritually one with the Master, we have to not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy that leaves us more lonely than ever, the kind of sex that can never become one. And he even says sexual sins are different from all others—in sex we violate the sacredness of our own bodies.

What some people miss out on is that even if we are bonding with an image or video on a computer screen, we are still mystically bonding with this person. It’s a spiritual act. That’s why pornography is wrong: not because of the things that happen to people, like you were saying, but because of the fact that is just goes contrary to what God intended sex to be.

Myth #2: Porn Is Glamorous

Matt: There is a second myth, and I’m interested to hear what you have to say about this: pornography is glamorous. Is this something you’ve thought about much before you decided to get into the industry? When you got into the industry, if you did have that preconceived idea, did your experience confirm or annihilate that idea?

Donny: When I first got into the business, I already liked looking at porn. I did so behind my wife’s back, you know, when she was sleeping or when she was at work. I thought that there would be nothing better than to get into the business, but I quickly learned that it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

People ask me now, “Are you attracted to porn?” and I say, “What’s attractive about a girl curled up in a corner in a ball, sucking her thumb in a fetal position because her mind is so blown by what she just went through?”

Matt: This is the stuff you would see while on set?

Donny: Absolutely, you see things like this. You see girls break down crying. I would have a camera focused on a girl, and there would be tears coming out of her eyes.

Matt: What would happen in that situation? I suppose you would have to re-apply the makeup?

Donny: Yeah, we would just have to stop for a while and let her collect herself. And it depended on my attitude that day. Sometimes I’m not in the mood for this. “Come on, knock this off. We have work to do here.” People believe the myth that it’s glamorous and it’s just not. You don’t hear about all the things that happen in the lives of these girls and how they break down—and even the guys in the business. They hide it a little bit better, but it’s definitely not a glamorous thing.

  • Comments on: Ex-Porn Producer Exposes Myths People Believe About Porn
    1. RG on

      Great post. You might want to check out a book by Neal Lozano, called “unbound” – it’s a real eye opener…

      Reply
      • sally on

        Truth! Thank you Luke, you are a hero and so is this man to share his truth and gift of faith, please keep blogging and writing, you make a difference for both individuals and families!

    2. justin williams on

      Excellent word. I just read a yahoo article about how stars of the romantic epic, The Notebook–Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams–were in fact at extreme odds with one another for the majority of the filming. But on screen, we’re so positively convinced they are in fact in love all their lives. It’s an eye-opener because, in the same way, we never see what happens behind the scenes of porn shoots, we often only see the best of the best putting on a mask and giving the camera–not even the audience–their best performance. We don’t see the tears, the viruses, and deaths, the emotional and spiritual break downs. People leave the industry for a reason. Powerful article.
      Blessings.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Interesting thought about The Notebook. Film-making involves acting, and porn is included.

    3. M on

      The comment about bonding to porn is interesting, in that it is a spiritual act. I remember hearing a secularist guy talking about why he won’t watch it anymore. He said it felt like it was rotting him (not exact words, but his sentiment) and couldn’t explain why. He said he didn’t want to contribute anything to prostitution anymore, that the commodification of sex harms people. This article reminds me of why God warns us not to be united with a prostitute, that He finds the commodification of sexual intimacy abhorrent.
      I truly pray for peace and strength for those struggling to leave the industry and those struggling to stop consuming it.

      Reply
    4. Chris on

      Luke, I just want to thank you for all the resources you post on here. As an ex addict, this area of my life is a testimony to others and I want to help them get free using the truths I read about here. Thanks man.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        So glad you find the blog encouraging, Chris! Really glad to hear that you are an ex addict.

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