When I was a kid, I remember playing basketball—it was one of the two sports that I loved the most. The two players I admired the most were none other than Julius Irving (Dr. J) and Michael Jordan. To me there are no other shooters in the game to this day that can compete and play at that level, in my humble opinion.
All I can remember—besides not being the best shooter—was hearing, on occasion, someone say “Watch the back door!” I hated it! It was annoying because that phrase only meant one thing to me: that someone from the opposing team found an opening in our defense that, if not checked and guarded, would cost us a point—and, if left open frequently enough, could cost us the game.
The Back Doors: Little Opportunities to Sin
In the area of sexual sin, “back doors” are opportunities to lust after a woman (or for a woman to lust after a man) or fall into porn or some other form of promiscuity. I have noticed that when lust was taking a foothold in my life, I could trace the steps back to those little things I was doing that would rekindle the fire (that, by the grace of God, was put out).
“A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” – Galatians 5:9
“Then you must protect me from the foxes, foxes on the prowl,
Foxes who would like nothing better than to get into our flowering garden.” – Song of Songs 2:15
If I put even one speck of dirt into a glass of water, would you consider it clean or dirty? There are no gray areas with God. Paul gives a serious mandate to the church that we should abstain from even the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
If someone wanted to commit suicide by jumping off of a cliff, remember, it took many steps to get to the cliff. No one decides to go on vacation at the Grand Canyon, stand at the end of the highest cliff and decide, without any forethought, that they want to commit suicide at that moment. These decisions take time to develop.
If you take a step back, you will see the signs. Don’t ignore them.
Some signs that you are going the wrong way
- Noticing too much of the opposite sex – It is OK to notice, but not when we notice and then notice again and again and again.
- Trying to be noticed by the opposite sex, especially when married
- Purposely visiting sites that are mainstream sites but have advertisements that are too risky or sexual in nature
- Allowing questionable magazines in home that may pose a threat to maintaining your purity (my wife usually screens our mail to make sure that there are no back doors that can be accessed)
- Having a back door but not bringing attention to it immediately
Sampson’s back door: Delilah
Sampson had a back door problem, didn’t he? He was a mighty man—just like every man was created to be. Samson had a thing for Philistine women, the same group that he was born and gifted to conquer for God. Every assignment that God gives us, Satan always has an alternate plan that will lead to destruction if followed.
What is your Delilah? The thing that gets you going more than anything. It sticks out like a sore thumb. The thing you like best on a woman—if we were to look at your web history, this would come up the most. Whatever or whoever she is, make sure you close the back door to this or lose the game.
Adrian Lewis has been writing for over 20 years. He knows what it is like to be bound for years by pornography and also knows what it is to celebrate years of victory, by the grace of God. He’s been married to Clarissa for 12 years and lives in Tacoma, Washington. They have 4 cool children, Jonas, Adrian, Versi and Josiah. He has been studying at the Christian Leadership Institute since 2012.
I was looking on Youtube for that Christian song shut de do (keep out de devil) and a porn video popped up right in the middle of all that Christian stuff!
Youtube is a site I stay away from. The site is just too open for me. The porn industry is super clever when it comes to using tag words or key words to take what would be to us an innocent search and turning it into a nightmare! I have learned that anything that sounds even slightly close to anything sexual to become very cautious over when searching the internet.
My husband recovers from his porn addiction, and after educating myself and developing understanding that it’s not preventable just by being super sexy for him because of the nature of this addiction: rewiring his brain and reinforcing the bonds chemically with brain hormones. I know how the triggers could cause back sliding. Therefore I strongly felt that I have to protect his eyes from opportunities on internet. I am considering filters. I don’t know how to stop the appearance of porn in my spam folder of my e-mail to which he also has an access. Any advice will be highly appreciated.
There are a few options to consider, Marina.
First, consider changing how your handle your e-mail access. Does he need to have access to the e-mail account? Could a second account be created for him—one to which you could forward any messages that are important for him to see?
Second, consider a free service like Unroll.me. This will help you manage that messages that come into your inbox so you can drastically reduce your spam.
Third, remember that a good filter will block any website that might be accessed through a spam message. While the initial temptation would still present itself, at least the pornographic website itself would be blocked.
Probably a combination of these strategies will be needed.