We recently received an e-mail from a Covenant Eyes user who wanted to remain anonymous. This is his story of victory over pornography.
I became addicted to pornography during my first year at college before I was a believer. In 2009 the Lord overcame me and I gave my life to Christ. However, I still struggled with pornography.
Even before I was a Christian there were times where I tried to quit, but it never worked. For me it was, and still is, a war. I have had a lot of accountability partners and many people praying for me, but it always felt futile because I could never really win in long run.
It was very frustrating and while I tried one other filter software, Covenant Eyes was different. I really needed the whitelist functionality and it allowed me to have a good period of time (maybe a semester or more) where I could only access five websites. This was important because I knew certain keyword searches that could still get me to inappropriate materials. That gave me time to detox.
There were still problems though. My Achilles heel was my work. There were many computers with Internet access, and I used them. Nothing so explicit as to catch the attention of the university, but enough to make me worry about it and to keep me hooked.
I was getting really frustrated until this last summer when Covenant Eyes offered free materials on the science of sexual addiction. I always felt like this problem was something I just had to get over and wait for some spiritual victory to be won. Don’t get me wrong, this was definitely the Holy Spirit. I would not have found the materials if a close friend hadn’t suggested I look to see if anyone had written anything on overcoming sexual addiction.
For me this was the key. Suddenly this was not just a spiritual battle but a physical war of neurotransmitters and neural pathways. It felt like I’d been using the shield of faith, but I was suddenly given the sword of the Spirit. It has not been easy and I’ve still made mistakes, but I would not call it an addiction anymore. I’ve felt like I was on the losing side for so long, but now I feel victorious and powerful.
Covenant Eyes has been very important in that victory, and I am incredibly thankful that the Lord has given us these kinds of tools to help us win against sin and temptation.