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How You and Your Spouse Can Figure Out Accountability

Last Updated: February 18, 2014

Jeff Fisher

Jeff Fisher and his wife Marsha live in Raleigh, North Carolina. They run PurityCoaching.com and have helped hundreds of sexual strugglers, spouses, and church leaders find help and resources. Jeff has podcasted for the last six years about sexual purity through his Top Tips For Sexual Purity Podcast (iTunes). Jeff can be reached at jeff@puritycoaching.com.

What role does your spouse play in your accountability? It’s important for you to work it out.

In this video, I suggests four questions you and your spouse need to consider and one wise suggestion on how to start.

Here are the four questions:

  1. How involved does your spouse want to be?
  2. How damaged is your spouse by your sexual behaviors, cover-up and lying?
  3. How much detail can your spouse handle and still be safe?
  4. How will you and your spouse handle slips?

Accountability Jumpstarts Can Help!

My wife and I offer a service on our PurityCoaching.com website called Accountability Jumpstarts. We are willing to be your accountability partner for one, two, or three months. It could be a great help to you, especially when your spouse needs to be able to trust your accountability partners.

For Covenant Eyes readers only, use the code COVEYES25 for a 25% discount on your Accountability Jumpstarts service.

  • Comments on: How You and Your Spouse Can Figure Out Accountability
    1. Candace on

      I am defeated, my husband of 22 years has suffered from a porn addiction, but blames my being controlling of everything as a cause, i have hurt and tried to understand and not take charge of things, but then he’s angry because i expect him to make some decisions about home projects or the kids, it is exhausting. he has been visiting with our pastor that married us but he doesn’t have much faith, or just doesn’t feel that it will help, now he wants me to go to marriage counciling for my controling attitude, i would drink gasoline at this point if it would end this problem and my trust issues.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Your husband is wrong. He needs to be a man and own his sins. Blaming you is both cruel to you and enslaving to him. The more he justifies his sin because of what you do or don’t do, the longer he stays trapped.

        Here’s the reality: you may or may not have problem with “controlling” your husband. If that is your sin, fine. You can admit to that if it is true. But let him also account for his sins. No matter how odious he thinks you have been to him, he should never blame you for his unfaithfulness. You are not guilty for his sins at all.

        Are you talking to anyone about this? Do you have a support system? It is so important that you have people around you who can give you clear advice, listen to you, and support you.

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