Looking at the stats about teens and porn use can be frightening, especially when you consider the kind of material they are watching. About 90% of boys and 70% of girls, ages 13 to 14, have reported accessing porn at least once the previous year, and 35% of boys reported viewing porn online “too many times to count.”
What can parents do to block teens from Internet porn?
1. Buy an Internet filter that gives them freedom with accountability.
Most teens live their lives online. It has become a part of the normal way they stay connected to their peers. Instead of removing the Internet altogether, buy an Internet filter that gives them the freedom to explore the Internet while blocking inappropriate content.
More importantly, filtering should always be paired with some measure of accountability. Parents should monitor where their children go online at all times. Spying is not the answer, but accountability is. Teens should know they are being monitored. Knowing you will receive a regular report of everywhere they go online will help them think twice about where they go and what they see. (See a sample of what Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability Reports look like.)
2. Recognize the potential loopholes.
Even if you buy software for your computers and laptops, keep in mind other places where teens can easily access porn.
- iPhone® and iPod touch® — The iPhone and iPod touch are fully Internet capable. Learn how to lock down Safari and other apps on these devices. Have your teen use the Covenant Eyes browser instead (which can be monitored and filtered).
- Friend’s house — Your teen is only as safe has his or her friend’s home. You may lock down your devices, but what about your teen’s friends? Know who your teen’s friends are and get to know their parents. Find out how they are monitoring the Internet in their home.
- School — School libraries and computer labs are often places where teens look at porn. Take time to learn how your local school is putting blocks in place.
3. Train them to be their own watchdog.
Ultimately, your best efforts are no match for a teenager who wants to find porn. People who want to look at porn will find a way. This is why the best porn blocker in the world is not a piece of technology. The best porn blocker is a teen willing to guard their own eyes and mind.
How do parents train their teens to do this? Ultimately, teens need to see why porn is not fulfilling their sex drive but is harming it. This means having open discussions with them about pornography.
Hi, I’m 14 and was sitting bored at home. So I began thinking about my values and parents and my mind wandered. Eventually I was thinking about how badly some parents want to restrict pornography from their children. My parents have discussed porn with me, I understand to watch it in moderation (don’t let it get out of hand), I understand that porn is made to visually stimulating and not to simulate real sex or the average body of a man or woman, and I understand it’s entirely healthy for me to have lustful desires and to watch porn safely. Porn is and to masturbate to, if you’re doing it safely and with a good understanding of sex and everything relating to it, why do you and parents try to restrict it. I’m going to go through all of your points and say why I disagree with them.
Point 1: If you’re smart and educated, you’ll be fine. Being smart is a mindset. Like I said, a talk with your children (like my parents did) about porn and sex. If the parents understand that child isn’t mature enough for pornography, then I can see it being restricted but through a talk with the child making the final decision.
Point 2: Similar to point 1, the teen can be educated.
Point 3: Yeah, that can happen I guess, but I doubt it’s as common as you’re leading it on to be. I find it interesting to look at pornstar’s real lives. For the most part, a lot of these women and men have recognized that they have gorgeous and sexually provacative bodies and (because they’re good business men and women) have decided to use it for their own monetary gain. What you’re thinking of is called sex trafficking which usually doesn’t happen in 1rst world countries. Here’s a link to a TedX presentation explaining the misconceptions of sex trafficking: https://youtu.be/wyhF7q3_bpk
4: You shouldn’t push religious agenda onto children. Yes, you can teach them about God, take them to church, read prayers, but don’t be a hypocrite. I’ll explain. The Bible endourses killing children/babies and punishing young women who lose their virginity before sex. Follow all of it, or follow none of it. I’ll quote a comedy musical duo here:
“I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they’re unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest I live by for sure
So let’s not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don’t count, of course
Let’s cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and mine it for ambiguities and omissions
To circumvent any real sacrifice, but still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don’t you dare question my convictions
And don’t look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
As the only way to measure if you’re good or not
And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
Because when you’re up against logic, it’s the only card you’ve got”
That song is called “The Loophole” if you wanted to take a listen. That was Verse 3.
I think I’ve made my point. I am eager to get a response on why you should block a natural biological process. Thank you.
-Ben
Hi, Ben – can you show me another species that spends time watching others in the species having sex and masturbating? Everything natural isn’t automatically good. Do you believe that you can have control over porn, not let it impact your mind, not let it impact your perceptions of women, truly, really? I guess you can try. No one is stopping you. Ok, Christianity isn’t perfect. No religion (including the religion of Atheism) is. Pick your path. You’ve shared the lyrics to a song, which are cute. They made me smile. Let me share a cut and paste story from this blog for you to consider (unedited – might not be native English speaking – compulsive porn use does not discriminate):
“I am 29 years old now, I’ve been masturbating since 12 years old until age of 16 years old. I watch porn on the internet for the masturbation, I thought It just a normal thing for a guy, but since last year, I read online and watch YouTube….realize that porn and masturbation is an ADDICTION like a Drug. I’ve tried to stop watching porn and masturbating, but the longest I did was just 1 week, then I relapse again. I once got a gf before. Now I still always masturbate by imagining my ex gf and having sex with her. What the shit? When I am together with her, I still have to watch porn. She asked me, why do you always want to have Sex? When she says no, I watch more porn regularly to satisfy my need, sometime can up to 5 hrs. I just keep on browsing to new videos. I can’t stop.
The most times I masturbated in a day was 7 times, that day really so black, the whole day I felt sleepy, didn’t have the motivation to get my meals, but slept most of the day. It has really affected me within these few years, My job as a salesperson, I cannot breakthrough to my GOAL, I have a lack of motivation, fear to meet with People, lack of social skills and so many things that have affected my life. I have lots of big dreams, but the problem is I cannot achieve my dreams. I’ve already lost a few years, year by year had gone. I’m the same feeling so tired, bored, Life just like passing a day to waiting for Die.
I am a Buddhist, I try to find a solution now, I read above so many left their comments, some few years and a few months, but I have masturbated for so many years, I try to avoid myself to watch it and get rid of Masturbation, What the shit…Please help me…”
I bet at one point this man felt like he was in control. Maybe you’d say he wasn’t “smart enough.” There’s no Christianity to blame or religious hypocrisy. Just a man who fell into a pit. And, doesn’t know how to get out.
My words to you – why even risk it? You sound smart. Gifted. Articulate. Porn is a jealous habit. It will rob your smarts. It will suck the life out of your giftedness. It will turn you into a socially awkward recluse. It wants all of what you could offer the world.
I truly wish you the best. I believe you’re smart enough to chose well.
Chris
Ben, as soon as you are 35 and want to run for president, if I am still alive I will not only vote for you, I will run your campaign. You rock, young man.