There are (at least) two unhealthy reactions our culture has to porn. The first is that porn is so common, we fail to see why it is a problem. The second is that it is so taboo, we fail to talk about how it is secretly hooking us.
Our friends in the She’s Somebody’s Daughter movement are seeking to dismantle both lies.
“She’s Somebody’s Daughter”
Steve Siler, founder of the movement, wants to plant one simple phrase into our culture in the hopes that it will turn the tide against the rampant acceptance of commercial sex. That phrase is, “She’s somebody’s daughter.” He’s starting with one city and going from there.
At the beginning of this month, Oklahoma governor Mary Fallin proclaimed October 1 “She’s Somebody’s Daughter Day” in her state. Next week in Oklahoma City, hundreds will be gathering on the riverfront with their flashlights to take a stand against sexual exploitation. Every attendee will “shine a light” for the daughters they care about, making a statement to their city that women do not deserve to be treated as mere sex objects.
Somebody’s Daughter DVD
As much as porn has been embraced by our culture, it has been a greatly taboo subject in the church. This is why, back in 2008, Steve Siler released a documentary called Somebody’s Daughter: A Journey to Freedom from Pornography.
This DVD-CD set features interviews with individuals in ministry who have fought with porn temptations tooth-and-nail. The DVD also contains music videos from the Somebody’s Daughter album from Music for the Soul.
Win a Copy of Somebody’s Daughter!
We will be giving away three copies of Somebody’s Daughter in celebration of events this month in Oklahoma City. Enter below several times to increase your chance of winning.
Who’s daughter is she? The unhealthy reactions our culture has with porn begins and ends with how this questions is answered. Doesn’t it? If we answer that she is the daughter of our Heavenly Father who bought her at the price of His Son Jesus Christ, then it quickly becomes a matter of our hearts and it’s not even about her anymore. Who’s child are we? If we can’t say the same then of course the door is open for excuses, blame, justification, and deception. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. I’ve never known anyone, myself included to be set free from a life of pornography, promiscuity, secrecy, and shame because of who someone’s earthly parents are and what they mean to them. I don’t think most people get involved in porn with the intent to victimize, humiliate and hurt someone else or make fools of ourselves and live in shame and guilt. It’s a selfish venture that destroys. Tragedy seems to arrest our attention. C.S. Lewis said that “pain can be the megaphone through which God speaks.” But although that can get our attention, it can’t solve the problem. By the grace of God I realized that my needs, urges and desires aren’t the problem. They are actually God given. The sin in me was the problem. The lies I believed that distorted the truth about my needs and desires and how I go about getting those needs met. What or who do I turn to FIRST if not Jesus? The church has the same problem as the world. We lust. We have an intense longing, craving and eagerness for pleasure and delight. How could we not? God created us this way so that he could be glorified in satisfying the deepest longings of our heart. NO matter how much I justified my sexual appetite or perversions I never walked way with joy and praising God for the gift of sex and love and intimacy. Intimacy? What’s that? I was only grateful for the distraction and release. I always had twisted feelings of relief/disgust/anxiety/disappointment/craving/numbness and that’s about it. Even when I thought I was on top of the game and enjoying the lifestyle. We burn for pleasure and control and call it peace. The world will justify it. The church many times just won’t admit it. It finally dawned on me that every day, by my actions, my heart was really praying, “give me this day my daily bread.” I just wasn’t praying to Our Father in Heaven. Instead, I was seeking online or elsewhere to for it.
I think the idea is great behind Somebody’s Daughter but here’s my question, are we still allowing a foothold on this sin by focusing on “her” rather than HIM (Jesus) as a solution to come clean, and change? Even if it’s a noble cause, aren’t we sort of keeping “her” on the thrown where she doesn’t deserve to be in the first place? I’m speaking from personal experience as victim from early childhood, who was objectified, learned to like it, craved it, almost demanded it and then began to objectify others. Twisted. Tragic. But the only way to my freedom was for me to be dethrowned by the grace of God and discover who my Father is through repentance and His mercy and grace. None of the men involved in my lifestyle expressed remorse or sorrow or had a desire to change after learning my story of abuse and loss growing up. They didn’t care who’s daughter I was or what kind of daughter I was but they would ask and listen and that was love enough for me even with the exploitation. Sometimes, I’d love to know all the answers as to what exactly fuels every aspect of this addiction. My husband justifies his need to look at playboy. He and I both know it’s not as graphic as what I use to be involved in but still this hurts my feelings, is confusing makes me jealous, insecure, sad and angry. It makes me struggle with my thoughts about that lifestyle and the choices I’m making to settle down and love myself and him in new ways. It makes it harder for me to walk in truth. Serves me right, some would say. He’s still a good man I’m praying for him. Sometimes I think if we could just understand it all we could get a handle on it but I’m learning there is a peace that passes all understanding and sometimes seeking knowledge for a heart issue just weakens me so I just have to take it to God and say, “here, you deal with this.”