Dr. William Struthers, a neuroscientist, gives some advice to parents about how to talk to kids about pornography. It isn’t about having “the talk” as much as it is about having consistent, ongoing conversations about how to think rightly about sexuality.
I am happy that Covenant Eyes has taken it up to counter the mayhem of pornography. I am much interested because today’s children and adolescents are being devastated morally by internet porn especially in the developing world. It affects mostly their academic minds as most of their minds are spent on porn instead of their academic pursuit. most of them who are sincere to them complain about this. As a chaplain to Students these 12 years, I can testify to what porn sites are doing to the children that are sincere. Most of them are moaning and for them porn is irresistible. Martin.
I have not yet read your ebook and have only read this one post. Thank you for what you’re doing. My concern is for my almost 15yo daughter. She has ADHD, although is on meds so is less impulsive than she might otherwise be. She desperately wants 1) to be popular and 2) to have a boyfriend. To achieve the latter, she has sent somewhat provocative photos. I know because the young man somehow found my cell number and sent it to me. Do you have blog posts about how to parent children on the posting side of porn and soft porn? I know this ties into her sense of identity and acceptance, but she is being deceived by the enemy. I’m struggling to point her to Christ rather than drive her away from Him and from me.
I would say, monitor that internet usage like a boss–maybe go to a flip phone for her, as it looks like she’s not really able to handle that responsibility yet. Keep an eye on any social media, etc., and again, don’t be afraid to remove accounts if it’s too much for her to handle right now.
When you talk to her, frame the problem as her safety and your concern for her.
Remember that YOU are the hands and feet and Body of Christ to her, so be as loving, caring, accepting, and forgiving to her as Jesus is to us.
Practically speaking, say YES to her as much as you can in other areas; yes, keep her safe online, but give her all the freedom and choice that you can elsewhere. I have seen this work like a charm with adolescents in therapy, when parents are able to follow through with keeping them safe without putting heavy restrictions everywhere.
At 15, she needs to have lots of choices so she can learn how to handle things; she didn’t handle this one area well, so she needs help for a while. Simple as that. Keep loving her and giving her lots of space, and I bet she will figure this area out, too.
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I am happy that Covenant Eyes has taken it up to counter the mayhem of pornography. I am much interested because today’s children and adolescents are being devastated morally by internet porn especially in the developing world. It affects mostly their academic minds as most of their minds are spent on porn instead of their academic pursuit. most of them who are sincere to them complain about this. As a chaplain to Students these 12 years, I can testify to what porn sites are doing to the children that are sincere. Most of them are moaning and for them porn is irresistible. Martin.
I have not yet read your ebook and have only read this one post. Thank you for what you’re doing. My concern is for my almost 15yo daughter. She has ADHD, although is on meds so is less impulsive than she might otherwise be. She desperately wants 1) to be popular and 2) to have a boyfriend. To achieve the latter, she has sent somewhat provocative photos. I know because the young man somehow found my cell number and sent it to me. Do you have blog posts about how to parent children on the posting side of porn and soft porn? I know this ties into her sense of identity and acceptance, but she is being deceived by the enemy. I’m struggling to point her to Christ rather than drive her away from Him and from me.
It’s tough trying to keep kids safe these days.
I would say, monitor that internet usage like a boss–maybe go to a flip phone for her, as it looks like she’s not really able to handle that responsibility yet. Keep an eye on any social media, etc., and again, don’t be afraid to remove accounts if it’s too much for her to handle right now.
When you talk to her, frame the problem as her safety and your concern for her.
Remember that YOU are the hands and feet and Body of Christ to her, so be as loving, caring, accepting, and forgiving to her as Jesus is to us.
Practically speaking, say YES to her as much as you can in other areas; yes, keep her safe online, but give her all the freedom and choice that you can elsewhere. I have seen this work like a charm with adolescents in therapy, when parents are able to follow through with keeping them safe without putting heavy restrictions everywhere.
At 15, she needs to have lots of choices so she can learn how to handle things; she didn’t handle this one area well, so she needs help for a while. Simple as that. Keep loving her and giving her lots of space, and I bet she will figure this area out, too.
Peace to you,
Kay