Updated July 2021.
Not too long ago my 3-year-old daughter asked me to pick her up and fly her around the house. No problem. Well, a few hours later, my back started to hurt. My back hurt like never before. It turns out I have a muscle spasm in my lower back. I cannot reach forward or pick anything up without being in a lot of pain. This is very frustrating, especially when I have so much to do.
I guess this is going to take some time.
This caused me to start thinking about healing in other ways…
- There’s healing that needs to happen in someone’s heart (and his/her family’s hearts) while recovering from an addiction.
- Healing needs to take place after being in an abusive or co-dependent relationship that has ended.
There are countless other examples of when healing needs to take place. We have all experienced them.
Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening when we want God to be healing our hearts. It can feel like nothing is being put back together on the inside. The truth is, though, if we give our hearts over to our Physician and Healer, Jesus, He will heal us! The process may not look like we thought it would, or take the amount of time we hoped, but if we yield our hearts and wills over to Him, He will heal us.
Healing from Porn Usually Comes in Stages
Right now my back is slowly healing. As I give it the rest it needs and not try to do what I know I can’t do right now, my back will continue to heal. Can I see this happening? No. Does it feel like anything is happening? No. One day I’m going to be able to walk around with no pain again. I don’t know when that day will be, but it will come. There is a process that my body is going through now in order to heal my back.
Being Healed vs. Be Healed
The same can be said for emotional healing, or healing from any kind of stronghold we have had in our lives. There is a process our hearts and minds need to go through along the way. When we look at it day-by-day, it can often look like nothing is changing. Sometimes we may even seem worse. If we can honestly say that we have surrendered this to God and are seeking after Him daily, we are being healed. The truth is, though, many of us (myself included) don’t like “being healed.” We just want to “be healed.”
Purpose in the Process
I know how frustrating the pain of being healed can be. My website wouldn’t exist if I received instantaneous healing for everything I have ever struggled with. I do know, that in the process of God healing my heart, I have learned some things that I wouldn’t be able to pass on to anyone else if I hadn’t walked through it myself.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” – 2 Corinthians 1:4
In the past, my thought about anyone who was trying to quit smoking or had another form of addiction was, “Just stop it!” “Don’t buy it, and then you can’t smoke/drink it…that simple!” (Compassionate, huh?) I didn’t understand addiction, because I was never one who was tempted in those areas.
But then, I developed my own struggle with pornography. My “just stop it” advice started to sound pretty shallow all of a sudden, and I began to realize what addiction and strongholds were really like.
Have I wished that God would heal me instantly? Yes. I have wished that many times. He hasn’t decided to work that way with me, though.
I believe it’s because in order to help other women with similar things, I need to walk through that same process first myself. It’s amazing how much closer I am to my Savior than I may have been otherwise. I have learned to lean on Him in a way I probably wouldn’t have needed to do if He healed me instantaneously. My walk with Him is so much closer than it used to be. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
It’s interesting how sitting here with a hurting back could make me appreciate the process that God has been taking me through over the last several years. It is such an example of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
I do love Him, and He has been working everything in my life out for the good, according to His purpose.
Be encouraged! You may be going through a healing process of your own right now. If you love God and are following after Him, He is working everything out for your good (and for the good of others who love Him) according to His own purpose. There may be days where it feels like nothing is changing. There will be days when it even feels like you’ve gone backwards, despite your best attempt to follow the path God has put before you.
Don’t give up! Healing takes time, but it does come to those who faithfully follow after the One who heals and delivers.
Related article: How to Quit Porn–6 Essential Steps
thank you for this … i am in the beginning of a journey of being healed from porn , i am afraid and feel alone . i have been crying out to God to be healed but i now know the difference and what i haven’t been doing right do that i can get on track with being healed.
I will pray for you. Generational pornography has affected the lives of my children through my husbands line, and molestation has affected me, the mother, through my mothers line. I am beginning to understand now the relationship between the two. I am devastated for my daughters and am crying out to God for help and healing. As I pray, I will also pray for your family.
Hi Jennifer. Wow, what a history of pain in your family! I hope you’re finding help and support as you process through all that. A counselor who’s familiar with trauma and sexual abuse recovery could be helpful at this point, I’d think. Peace to you, Kay