Help Others Restore Integrity Porn Free Church book cover
Help Others Restore Integrity 1 minute read

Beyond the Checklist: Casting a Vision for Real Accountability

Last Updated: November 3, 2020

by Traylor Lovvorn

“All We Need Is Jesus.” Maybe you have heard someone say this recently from a pulpit near you. Growing up on a steady diet of this and other well-meaning clichés led me to an isolated and individualistic brand of Christianity that told me I was supposed to be strong and have it together in all areas. This disciplined self-reliance meant that I covered up and kept secret any area where I was not strong and did not have it all together. I was an expert at moving effortlessly between the myriad of masks I used to cover up my weaknesses and insecurities. I felt it was my duty to keep my struggles secretly locked away in order to protect my reputation and to be a good witness to the world. If the people around me saw me struggling, I reasoned, then that would send a message that Jesus was not enough. I could not let that happen, so the cover-up continued.

Unfortunately, the cover-up taking place in my life was pretty significant. I was exposed to pornography as an eight-year-old and would never be the same because of that experience. The knowledge that viewing pornography was wrong was not enough to keep me from going back to it again and again over the next  twenty-two years. Convinced that believers were supposed to experience only positive emotions like happiness and joy while desperately trying to protect my Christian reputation, I stuffed and ignored the painful emotions of sorrow, grief and loneliness.

The more I stuffed, the more I ran to pornography and sexual fantasy to medicate my pain. The more I medicated, the more sin there was to hide and cover up. As I continued this destructive cycle, the discrepancy between the picture of what I thought a godly man was supposed to be and who I knew myself to be grew larger and larger. Because I had only heard sex and pornography discussed in the context of big sins to be avoided, I honestly believed that I was the only Christian man struggling in this area and continued to isolate and hide.

Read the rest of Traylor Lovvorn’s chapter in our free e-book, Porn-Free Church: Raising up gospel communities to destroy secret sins.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Help Others Restore Integrity

Editor's Picks

A woman on a podcast.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Dr. Lina Abujamra’s Thoughts on Sex and Shame

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A youth pastor speaking to a group.

Help Others Restore Integrity

“The Youth Pastor Did What?!” Talking About Porn in Church

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A woman looking for resources in the library.

Help Others Restore Integrity

The Best Porn Addiction Resources in 2024

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want…

7 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Image of Pastor Matt Chandler.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Matt Chandler on Accountability and Stepping Away From Ministry

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A nativity scene.

Help Others Restore Integrity

5 Holiday Messages for Your Parish Bulletin

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making…

6 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

An empty church sanctuary.

Help Others Restore Integrity

How Porn Affects Church Attendance

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are…

6 minute read

Read Post

Related in Help Others Restore Integrity

A woman on a podcast.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Dr. Lina Abujamra’s Thoughts on Sex and Shame

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of…

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of Living with Power Ministries. She’s a popular Bible teacher, podcaster, and conference speaker. She’s also the author of several books. She provides medical…

4 minute read

0 comments

A youth pastor speaking to a group.

Help Others Restore Integrity

“The Youth Pastor Did What?!” Talking About Porn in Church

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid…

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid to mention the word “porn” or address the issue of sexual integrity head-on. This led to a safe environment in which I was…

3 minute read

0 comments

A woman looking for resources in the library.

Help Others Restore Integrity

The Best Porn Addiction Resources in 2024

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want…

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want to make sure you have the best resources available. Thankfully, it’s no longer difficult to find plenty of offline and online help. Still,…

7 minute read

0 comments

Image of Pastor Matt Chandler.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Matt Chandler on Accountability and Stepping Away From Ministry

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor…

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church and president of Acts 29. They talked with Pastor Matt about his recent leave of absence from ministry, what…

4 minute read

0 comments

A nativity scene.

Help Others Restore Integrity

5 Holiday Messages for Your Parish Bulletin

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making…

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making cookies, setting up our crèche scene, or hosting festive gatherings, our celebrating is a welcome time! But gift buying, family gatherings, and extra cooking…

6 minute read

0 comments

An empty church sanctuary.

Help Others Restore Integrity

How Porn Affects Church Attendance

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are…

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are watching porn. The average pew-sitter today is likely to have struggled with pornography at some point. And this struggle is also likely to…

6 minute read

0 comments