Help Others Restore Integrity
Help Others Restore Integrity 2 minute read

5 Facebook Friends You Don’t Want

Last Updated: February 20, 2014

Social networking is a wonderful invention, a tool that can be used  both for ministry and for expanding and enriching friendships and family relationships. But like any technology, it has its pitfalls. One of those are Facebook friends you don’t want if you want to guard your heart and life.

Here are five:

1) Former Girlfriends

I’ve heard too many stories about happily married men and women who found their old high-school flames on Facebook only to see a casual “catching up” relationships descend into improper relationships and then affairs. I have a policy of not “friending” anyone on Facebook that I may have dated in high-school or college or beyond. Not because they are bad people. Not because anything might or could happen. I do it because (a) I don’t want Satan to wedge a temptation in there, and (b) I don’t want to have an image of impropriety.

2) Friends Who Like to Excessively Chat

Facebook has an instant messaging feature much like Google Chat or iChat or Facetime. The problem with this, at least for me, is that if you set your status here as “online” there are some folks who want to pop up and chat with you. When I was first on Facebook, I would respond and chat back. But I quickly learned this can be a pitfall for two reasons: (a) If its with the opposite sex it could lead to something improper. It may not, but it could (b) be a waste of time.

I turn my Facebook chat status as off. If someone wants to communicate with me via Facebook, they can easily send me a message and I can respond when I see fit. It also seems to eliminate some of the casual “chatty” conversations that, when conducted with the opposite sex, could lead to something dangerously more.

3) Friends with Immodest Pictures

Because I’m a published author and columnist, I regularly have folks wanting to friend me after reading my work somewhere. My policy is that I typically accept all friends. Except friends with profile pictures that are immodest. I’m not a prude here, but I have a hard and fast rule that I don’t friend anyone who is scantily clad or who has, as their profile picture, a sort of “come –hither” look to them. You know what I mean. Not only is this an out-of-bounds temptation for me, it also would reflect poorly on my witness for Christ. So, I ignore these friends.

4) Friends Who Use Profanity

Sometimes you friend someone in good faith, then after reading their timeline for a while, you realize they enjoy posting profanity. I’m amazed at what people will put on his or her Facebook status as if nobody can see it. Or maybe people can see it and they don’t care. Everybody has moments where they say or post something they wish they could delete. But if a Facebook friend’s status is a constant stream of profanity, I either unsubscribe from their updates or unfriend them. Sometimes I will keep them on as friends in order to build a relationship to win them to the Lord. Mostly, though, I unfriend the vulgar. I think this is a good practice.

5) Friends Who are Flirty

Some people don’t post raunchy pictures on their profile and don’t swear. But they are flirty and/or talk excessively about their sexual choices. Stay away from these friends. Don’t accept their friend invites and unfriend them if you see such talk in their timelines and report them if they send suggestive messages. If you care about your marriage, your ministry, your testimony before God and man, you’ve got to boot these people from your Facebook community ASAP.

  1. Caroline Williams

    This is ridiculous, if your faith were strong enough you wouldn’t have to go through such extreme measures choosing Facebook friends. I accept all people because it is a chance to spread the gospel.

    • Chris McKenna

      Hi Caroline, if that approach works for you, fantastic. For others (including myself), I find it necessary to avoid exposing my eyes and heart to certain things. Even with strong faith. Be well!

      Chris
      -Covenant Eyes

  2. Daniel B

    I know you said PROFILE pictures, but if I accepted only friends who didn’t have immodest pictures, I’d have to defriend the majority of girls I know.

  3. Helena Brooks

    This was very helpful although I had made a decision not to look up or accept old flames as friends and I don’t get many instant messages, some friends states are inappropriate for me. I was not aware the I could block their stat. Thank You; the enemy is never too busy to try and catch us slacking.

  4. Chance

    Good list. I have some FB friends who don’t live a good lifestyle, but unless they cause me to stumble somehow (like the examples you mentioned), I won’t defriend them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Help Others Restore Integrity

Editor's Picks

A woman on a podcast.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Dr. Lina Abujamra’s Thoughts on Sex and Shame

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A youth pastor speaking to a group.

Help Others Restore Integrity

“The Youth Pastor Did What?!” Talking About Porn in Church

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A woman looking for resources in the library.

Help Others Restore Integrity

The Best Porn Addiction Resources in 2024

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want…

7 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Image of Pastor Matt Chandler.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Matt Chandler on Accountability and Stepping Away From Ministry

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A nativity scene.

Help Others Restore Integrity

5 Holiday Messages for Your Parish Bulletin

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making…

6 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

An empty church sanctuary.

Help Others Restore Integrity

How Porn Affects Church Attendance

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are…

6 minute read

Read Post

Related in Help Others Restore Integrity

A woman on a podcast.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Dr. Lina Abujamra’s Thoughts on Sex and Shame

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of…

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of Living with Power Ministries. She’s a popular Bible teacher, podcaster, and conference speaker. She’s also the author of several books. She provides medical…

4 minute read

0 comments

A youth pastor speaking to a group.

Help Others Restore Integrity

“The Youth Pastor Did What?!” Talking About Porn in Church

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid…

Growing up, I was fortunate to have pastors who were not afraid to mention the word “porn” or address the issue of sexual integrity head-on. This led to a safe environment in which I was…

3 minute read

0 comments

A woman looking for resources in the library.

Help Others Restore Integrity

The Best Porn Addiction Resources in 2024

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want…

When you tackle a problem as serious as porn addiction, you want to make sure you have the best resources available. Thankfully, it’s no longer difficult to find plenty of offline and online help. Still,…

7 minute read

0 comments

Image of Pastor Matt Chandler.

Help Others Restore Integrity

Matt Chandler on Accountability and Stepping Away From Ministry

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor…

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently sat down with Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church and president of Acts 29. They talked with Pastor Matt about his recent leave of absence from ministry, what…

4 minute read

0 comments

A nativity scene.

Help Others Restore Integrity

5 Holiday Messages for Your Parish Bulletin

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making…

We all have our holiday traditions. Whether it’s decorating the tree, making cookies, setting up our crèche scene, or hosting festive gatherings, our celebrating is a welcome time! But gift buying, family gatherings, and extra cooking…

6 minute read

0 comments

An empty church sanctuary.

Help Others Restore Integrity

How Porn Affects Church Attendance

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are…

As time goes on, it seems like more and more Christians are watching porn. The average pew-sitter today is likely to have struggled with pornography at some point. And this struggle is also likely to…

6 minute read

0 comments