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Young Women Seduced By Porn: How My Parents Helped Me Break Free

Last Updated: June 16, 2021

Victory Stories

Every day at Covenant Eyes we hear inspiring stories of victory over porn. Here are just a few of them.

I grew up in a Christian home with amazing, loving parents. From a young age, I had a personal relationship with Christ. As a teenager, I was even given leadership roles in the church. My senior year of high school should have been an exciting time; I had been given solid roots in my upbringing and I had big dreams for the future. This was the point where I would begin to make decisions enabling me to live those dreams.

Despite all that, it was a horrible year.

The summer before, I had stumbled across erotic literature on the Internet. My parents, as a safety measure, had installed filtering software on my laptop, but somehow the website got past. Afterwards, I told myself it was a one-time thing. But within weeks, I went back for more. I told myself it was okay. It wasn’t real porn; it was just stories. There was nothing wrong with what I was doing.

Before long, though, I wasn’t just reading stories, but watching videos. Yet it was never enough. By winter, I would spend several hours every night watching and reading. When I had seen everything possible without hacking the filter on my laptop, I turned to my phone. By spring, I couldn’t stop. Even if I was exhausted, I had to go one more story, one more video. I couldn’t have enough. Before, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t addicted, that I could stop anytime I wanted. Now, I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t. My life had no purpose. I felt like I had nowhere to go to for help. I was trapped.

As time drew near for me to leave for college, I began to get scared. How was I going to live out my dreams if I was chained to this monster called pornography? I realized that in the past year, I had not only become addicted to porn, but I had also grown further away from God than I ever had before.

Two weeks before leaving for college, I begged God to forgive me and asked Him to help me break the addiction. I knew I could not possibly do it; He had to help me. For the next two weeks, I refused to take my laptop into my bedroom. I spent time praying and reading my Bible every day. Even though it was hard, life began to look hopeful again.

My first night at college, God placed Christ-like friends around me who lifted me up and within a few weeks knew about my problem. They began to keep me accountable. These relationships made it easy to say “no” to porn. Not only would they ask me how I was doing at resisting temptation, but they would also keep my laptop overnight, stop me from beating myself up when I messed up, and, most importantly, pray for me. I would not have been able to make it through fall quarter without depending on them.

Over winter break, being away from my accountability, I slipped up several times. At first, I was mad at myself for returning to my old ways. Then, one of my friends showed me that I was still growing and God had forgiven me.

I was able to find the courage to talk to my parents about the problem. Bringing it up with them was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also one of the most rewarding. Together, we decided that the Internet filter on my computer was not doing any good and decided to try Covenant Eyes. Now, knowing that my parents can see whatever I do online, resisting temptation is much easier.

Before using Covenant Eyes, I did not think it was possible to have an open relationship with my parents. In the past, bringing up personal issues wasn’t easy. Now, I understand that they really do want the best that God has for me and don’t judge the decisions I make or condemn me when I mess up. Because I understand this now, it’s easy to come to them when I have problems in other areas. I can ask for their advice and respect it because they’ve demonstrated that they’re willing to do whatever it takes to see me succeed.

Download Pornography Among Youth: Problems, roadblocks, and solutions.


Natalie Orndorf is a sophomore at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio, majoring in biomedical engineering, premed, and a minor in biology. She is planning on attending med school and being a pediatrician.

  • Comments on: Young Women Seduced By Porn: How My Parents Helped Me Break Free
    1. Kyle Reed on

      Thanks for sharing your story, Natalie! Keep being a light during your studies and beyond… But definitely at Wright State (as with any college scene!) I know there are many women and men around you that need help in battling pornography!

      Reply
    2. Jeffery on

      I have been addicted to pornography for over 10 years now and the addiction is seems strong whenever I have my mind fixated on the thoughts of porn. This is the only thing that has severed me from having a intimate lively spiritual based relationship with my heavenly Father. I know that this is not my true nature because God in various manners have revealed to me that this is not me. After watching and pleasuring in pornography, immediately I seem distant from God. I find it difficult to pray or worship God or even read the scriptures. Its a terrible addiction from hell and declines one’s stance to progressive living both in the physical realm as well as in the spiritual. Sometimes I try justifying the idea that porn is good and its led me down the road of even living a promiscious lifestyle. I know its a problem and I need to make a complete change of current lifestyle. When I wasn’t terribly indulgent in porn or its addiction, I had revelations through dreams to the point that an assembly of heaven (choir) called me while I was in a dream to change my ways and live a holy life because I am wasn’t the person I thought I was based on the lifestyle I chose to live. In my dream, I couldn’t see this group of singers who sang a very melodious song that I’ve never heard before sung on earth. However the type of songs that I could use to closely associate with the song I heard in this particular dream are old sacred hymns that we hadly hear sung in today’s churches. This group of choir through the song sang called me to return home. In the dream however I saw in the clouds above whites horses that were transparent but I could notes of the horses because I saw them but saw no one riding the horse; only heard melodious voices calling me home. After this particular dream because the addiction for porn grew in my mind I literally stop experiencing or having dreams of such significance. Not that I have had a dream in the past like this but I have heard other dreams of great significance that I had no immediate interpretation after I woke up. Porn is dangerous and my life with the Lord has tremedously grown faint. If you believe and work with God help pray that I breakaway from this addiction so I can regain my spiritual calling before its too late for me. I know God loves me but I don’t love him clearly because of porn which blocks my mind from observing his living commandments daily. I would endeavor to get covenant eyes to assist me escape this destructive addiction of both the body and soul.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        @Jeffery – Thanks for stopping by and sharing with us. Thanks also for sharing the ways God is speaking to your heart.

        I agree that porn is an insidious poison to one’s spiritual life. I know that all too well…personally. I know what it is like to watch porn eat away at my soul until I feel all but dead inside.

        Somewhere I pray God helps you to make the connection between your true identity as a child of God and your behavior. One is meant to be an outcropping of the other. The apostle John said we are children of God and that we are also heirs of eternal life, destined to be like Christ (1 John 3:1-2), but this great hope is meant to spur us on to purity in the here and now (v.3). As we feed on thoughts of eternity, what we will be like when Christ returns in dazzling glory, this is meant to inspire us to see the beauty of holiness against the false promises of pornography. Peter reminds us it is through the great and glorious promises of God that we are sanctified (2 Peter 1).

        Read my post, “3 Biblical Strategies for Fighting Lust.” I pray you can find real freedom.

    3. Cutie on

      i had a problem with porn too. It stunk and now you have given me hope for a better life! Thanks!

      Reply

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