2 minute read

Basic Purity Tips (Football Style)

Last Updated: November 13, 2020

Jeff Fisher

Jeff Fisher and his wife Marsha live in Raleigh, North Carolina. They run PurityCoaching.com and have helped hundreds of sexual strugglers, spouses, and church leaders find help and resources. Jeff has podcasted for the last six years about sexual purity through his Top Tips For Sexual Purity Podcast (iTunes). Jeff can be reached at jeff@puritycoaching.com.

Purity isn’t just sexual purity. There’s a broader definition for us as Christian men. We don’t want to allow anything into our heart, mind, soul, or body that twists God’s creation. We don’t want to be drawn or attached to anything that steals us away from glorifying God.

Ps. 101:3 “I will set my eyes before no vile thing.”

James 1:27 “Keep oneself unstained from the world.” 

These verses reflect the essence of purity.

Let’s talk about the basics when it comes to purity. These will certainly help you on your sexual purity journey, but they will also keep us out of the sketchy places that can derail our Christian walk.

Since football season is here (oh, yeah!), it’s easy to talk in terms of defense and offense.

DEFENSIVE

Putting up roadblocks, hurdles, or extra steps between the temptation and you committing a sin.

  • Protect your computer and mobile devices – So many guys stumble here and get hooked. Filtering AND accountability software like Covenant Eyes will help you.
  • Deal with your TV – Give your wife the password, block channels, set time limits and boundaries, or just get rid of your TV.  Only watching DVR programs helps too.
  • Check your nouns (persons, places, things) – Get rid of bad nouns. Fill your life with good nouns. Our nouns affect our purity environment for good or bad.
  • Set good boundaries with women – Plan ahead of time. Be very careful when it comes to alone time and conversation time. Let your wife help you with this part of your strategy.
  • Forge accountability relationships – You don’t need to go John Wesley when it comes to accountability, but you do need other guys in your life who know you and know your story. Build some accountability questions around the areas that you struggle in and meet weekly.

OFFENSIVE

Proactive. Strengthening and conditioning of your heart, mind, body, and spirit. 

  • Pour energy toward your wife – Serving our wives.  Loving our wives.  Giving up our agenda and needs to meet their needs.  These actions fill up our lives and our marriages.  Cultivate intimacy on all levels with your wife. As Prov. 5:15 says,Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.”
  • Build strong connections with others – This is another type of intimacy. Knowing your friends and letting them know you. Go deep, spend time and connect. Healthy relationships help us avoid unhealthy relationships.
  • Learn more about the love of God – Any work in our relationship with God is good, of course. But many guys don’t have a good understanding of how much God loves us. We’re not filling our lives up with God. We’re not worshipping Him and meditating on who He is.  Drink deeply!

Many of us focus on our defense but have a lousy offense. We need both. In fact, our offense is probably more important to our purity journey than anything else. If we’re filling up our well with good things and pouring our energies in healthy directions, we have less time for being selfish. We have less time to worship the creation rather than the Creator.

GO FOR THE EXTRA POINTS

These will greatly enhance your purity strategy. 

  • Go Backward – The stuff inside our hearts and minds drives us.  All of us have hurts, wounds, unmet expectations, and impure experiences in our past that affect how we act and what we are drawn to.  Take some time with a minister, spiritual mentor, or counselor to figure some of this out.  It is time well spent.
  • Go Deeper – There are usually parts of our offensive or defensive strategy that are shallow.  I’m willing to bet it has to do with our relationships with others or with our wife.  Whatever part of your strategy is lacking, push yourself to a deeper level.  Get some other guys around you to help.  Work out some different muscle groups when it comes to your emotional, relational or spiritual life.

  • Comments on: Basic Purity Tips (Football Style)
    1. Jeremy on

      Jeff, I found out early that a good offense – consistent prayer life and scripture study, positive fellowship with like-minded men and lots of positive Praise and Worship music – help me walk in real freedom from masturbation and pornography.

      My proclivity towards lust has trained me to always lean on our Lord, because temptation is only a thought away. Now, though, after I have trained my brain, heart, and soul to seek after the Love of God, rather than the Love of Self, I find the temptation few and far between.

      Anyone with sexual baggage can be healed, restored, and renewed in Christ. Jesus has paid for our sin…and He offers any christian man the Holy Spirit to dwell within our bodies. WOW! That’s radically awesome!

      Without the Holy Spirit, I’m toast. Surrendering to Him is part of drinking from the well of living water, and it has become my joy to drop my bucket of sin and disobedience in return for buckets of eternal water from Heaven!

      Peace be with you,

      Jeremy

      Reply

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