by Alyssa Shull
Our culture is so obsessed with the people that entertain us. I hear people all the time saying “Insert star’s name is sooo HOT.” The star could be married, or single—it doesn’t matter—our culture fawns and obsesses over them. I have even found that married people will say this about the stars.
Here’s the issue: It’s about living for your marriage whether you are married yet or not. Even before you get married you should live for your marriage. Don’t simply think that you can live for your marriage when you are married–you need to start now. The decisions and choices you make to stand for purity now will ripple throughout your life.
For example, when I was a teenager I had pictures all over the back of my door of movie stars/models from magazines. One night after church I got home and I was so convicted by the fact that I had all these “famous” people that I thought were “hot” on my door. I should be protecting my eyes for my husband and not look at all these other men. So I literally ripped off all the posters on my door that night. I am so thankful I did that because when I met my husband and told him my stand for purity that I took and how I didn’t want to look at all those men everyday, but instead I wanted to guard my eyes for him, he was so blessed. It meant the world to him that my eyes were and are only for him and I am not interested in any other man.
It makes me wonder when someone says, ‘That star is soooo hot!’ how far would that person actually go if that star showed up on their doorstep? Would they throw away their current relationship (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) to be with that person? You may say “No, Alyssa, I just think they are attractive.” But I think it goes deeper than that. The Bible says in Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus is saying here, even if you look with the intent of lust in your heart you have committed adultery. Looking is exactly the point I am getting to. If you are looking after these Hollywood stars and lusting after their bodies or their “hotness,” then you are committing adultery.
Keep your eyes for your spouse only. One thing my husband and I talked about right when we started our relationship was this very thing. It is so important to us to keep our eyes for each other. We are truly the only other person each other looks at. It means so much to both of us to keep our eyes protected. That means turning our heads when an image of the opposite sex in a lustful manner (i.e. taking clothes off, lots of skin showing, etc.) comes on the TV or movie. That means not talking about how hot a movie star is. That means not talking with friends about the looks of other people. I truly believe our marriage is so strong in this area and we are so complete and whole, knowing we have eyes only for each other.
We want you to know that neither one of us started out this way, but it has come as we have progressed in our relationship with Christ. He has placed His desire for purity inside of us. I don’t want you to think we are goody-goodies, because we are not. But the Holy Spirit inside of us longs for holiness.
I want to help you guard and protect your marriage or future marriage. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:27, “Do not give the devil an opportunity to work.” Don’t open the door with your eyes or your mouth in the area of purity, it just gives room for the enemy to work.
In closing I would like to share with you how this plays out. Let’s take the recent example of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, who just got divorced. I read in an article:
“Some say that’s because Marc had a wandering eye. ‘I think Marc wanted to be with other women,’ reveals a source close to the situation.” (okmagazine.com)
A wandering eye will destroy a marriage before and after you are married. Keep your eyes for your spouse. You will feel so complete in each other if you do!
With God’s help, walking in purity is possible!
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Alyssa Shull and her husband Matt are the founders of Shull Ministries International, an organization dedicated to reaching out to the younger generation through media, youth services, and evangelistic outreaches. Alyssa and Matt are the hosts of Skunks TV, a fast-paced 30-minute show designed to entertain and educate youth. Alyssa graduated in 2008 with a degree in Multi-Media Productions from Oral Roberts University, and now she travels full-time with Matt speaking in churches in America, Latin America, and India. Alyssa is also the founder of The Pink Lid, a weekend event for young ladies to learn about purity and modesty.
Thank you for saying exactly what I have been trying to explain for so long. This is how I believe but I have never been to able to explain it in a clear way. Praying for pure hearts and blessed marriages.