Jeff and I recently participated in a small group study of John and Stasi Eldredge’s book Love and War: Finding Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage. The book was great and hit on several concepts that were new to me and opened my eyes to why marriage can feel so impossible at times. The concept that challenged me most was John and Stasi’s discussion on “making agreements.”
GE BOXWhat is an Agreement?
An “agreement” is a subtle and seemingly harmless statement that crosses our mind when we are unhappy with our spouse. It may sound like, “She always makes us late” or “He never remembers to take out the trash.” John and Stasi showed me that this minor thought is actually a potent tool of the Enemy. It is his way of putting his foot into our marriage relationships. Once his foot is planted, agreements take root. Over time we begin to define our spouses by these agreements we’ve made, instead of by the truths that brought us together as a couple to begin with. I no longer look at my husband as the loving provider God brought into my life to lead me spiritually. Instead, I feel disdain as I look at the loser I married who can’t even remember to take out the trash.